


Innocent Games

by tanyatakaishi



Category: Digimon Adventure, Digimon Adventure Zero Two | Digimon Adventure 02
Genre: Action/Adventure, Drama, F/M, Gen, Love Triangles, Not Epilogue Compliant, Post-Season/Series 02, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-14
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2018-09-17 08:57:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 66,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9314519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tanyatakaishi/pseuds/tanyatakaishi
Summary: Stuck in a world shaped by memories, the digidestined are forced to face the past and all the baggage between them. Separated, captured, and left without their partners, truths unravel, feelings escalate, and a new monster lurks, ready to destroy it all.





	1. Black Hole

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the rewrite of Innocent Games. If you've read it before on ff.net, the first ten or so chapters have been rewritten entirely. Brand new dialogue, scenes etc. The rest has been heavily edited. The story is overall the same. For example: I'm going straight dub here this time, so a a few minor points in reference to names/nicknames are different than before. 
> 
> If you are new, here's all you need to know: This story takes place approximately four years after the end of 02. I actually started writing this story before the end of 02 was released in the US (I know, this is old AF) so the epilogue is dismissed and every human will not have a digital partner.
> 
> Special shout out to Sonfaro who was a constant motivator and had pointed out ways to improve things when this story sucked. Talented author. Check out all his stuff on ff.net. There are so many more to thank – I love the digimon fandom, the majority of people are encouraging, respectful, helpful and fun to talk to. Thank you for helping me be a better writer.
> 
> I also have a playlist dedicated to this story to get an idea of what I listen to while I write and what will fit this particular story. In case you're interested: https://open.spotify.com/user/22kyscbemef6vguh4m2647awq/playlist/28O4jCud4QrPdXlOzZ08lB

 

**Innocent Games**

* * *

I've seen worlds.

Before I knew that others existed, before I was torn from mine and forced to save another. Before the Digital World, I was sure they existed.

As a child, my mind teemed with magical places: a world where I could fly, another where I constantly wore a suit of armor (even in the tub) and got everywhere by riding a horse. In one, everything was blue. So blue that I couldn't tell the earth from the sky from the ocean from myself. But my favorite world was the one formed by fading memories: where my brother and I still shared a tiny room and I didn't do much but cry. I remember it in pieces: the legos spread across the floor, Matt's foot in my face when I snuck into his bed and turned in the night, the way we'd run to shut the door when our parents kissed, pretending like we hated it.

I sometimes wonder about the world Oikawa brought us to. If there were a way to get back there, if all those worlds could exist in a world like that.

I used to wonder if I was the only one who wondered.

Now that I'm here, I don't wonder at all.

 

* * *

**Chapter One:  
Black Hole**

* * *

 

**i need u**

The words had been sitting mockingly on his phone for more than an hour, waiting for a response. Matt frowned, finally left with nothing to do but answer. His college essay sat on his brother's desk, covered with comments in red pen ( _too poetic, too vague, this should be a semi-colon not a comma)_ all written in skewed pillars of scratchy scrawl. His eyes slipped sideways, across piles of books and crumpled paper to the disheveled bed. An arm slumped over TK's face, but his knees were pointing toward the ceiling and every now and then he had to readjust his feet to keep them there. Patamon had curled into a nest of blankets by his side, long furry ears masking his face. Matt turned back to his phone and hammered out a line with his fingers. **Hanging with my brother tonight.**

**bring him with**

**Is your sister coming?**

**no excuses**

Matt could think of a hundred. **Nope**

**i thought blondes had more fun** ¬_¬

With a verbal groan, Matt's fingers found the bridge of his nose. Tai's name blurred across the screen of his mobile. He set the phone face down and fiddled with a box of cigarettes nestled in his pocket, fingertips dancing along the few that remained.

“Better leave them there,” TK mumbled into his mattress. “Mom's gonna flip when she finds out you're smoking.” He lifted his head and Patamon squirmed in his sleep. “Who are you texting?”

Matt pulled out a cigarette anyway, letting it linger against his lips. “Tai.”

“You're not going to light that in here...”

“I'm going outside.”

“Better brace yourself. An hour lecture. Minimum.” TK watched as Matt stood. “You didn't tell her about Sora yet, did you?”

The cigarette bent between Matt's teeth.

“Make that two hours,” said TK.

**come on! Mimis back. i told her every1 would be there b a friend and act suprised**

With a sigh, Matt closed the balcony door behind him. His phone went off again.

**man up. u cant avoid Sora 4ever**

**I'm not** Matt stopped typing and his thumb jabbed into the backspace button, erasing his words. He shoved the phone in his pocket and lit his cigarette.

 

* * *

 

**your gonna come cuz im irresitable**

**Does your phone not have spell check?**

**its not smart**

Sora bit back a smile and rolled her eyes.

“Are you sexting?”

Her whole face flushed. “Omigod, no. Mimi.”

Noodles flopped in front of Sora's nose when Mimi pointed a pair of chopsticks at her. “You look like you're playing coy. Is it Matt?” Mimi grinned and the yakisoba retreated, sliding behind her pink lips with a loud slurp.

“Playing coy?”

Mimi spoke with one cheek full. “Pretending you don't like the sexting.”

“I am _not_ sexting.”

“You and Matt don't sext?”

Sora put her phone down. “No! What if someone read it?”

“Who doesn't enjoy some steamy literature once in a while?”

“My _mother_.”

“She doesn't like Matt?”

“She doesn't like _sexting_ ,” Sora hissed. She hid her face behind her hand when an old couple was seated in the booth beside them. “You did hear me when I said we broke up, right?”

“I'd rather live in denial.” Mimi pouted when Sora glared. “Whyyyy? You guys are so cute together.”

That was true, she guessed. Every picture of them was gorgeous. Matt was perpetually handsome, even when he was at his worst. Did he have a worst, really? His frown practically oozed sex. That definitely wasn't his worst: the brooding crease by his cheekbones and narrowed frosty gaze. His smile certainly wasn't. It was bright and charming, even when he was all awkward and embarrassed and his cheeks burst into rosy splotches.

Sora closed her eyes when her phone chimed with a new message. “I don't know,” she said. “Maybe that's why.”

“Because you guys are cute...?”

“Because we...” A piece of chicken was speared through by her chopstick. “Because we're perfect together.” Sora concentrated on wrapping a single noodle around it. She swore she could hear Mimi's jaw drop.

“Well, that's stupid.”

Sora looked up and found Mimi's mouth had puckered, like she tasted something sour. Her eyes narrowed and Sora's narrowed right back. “Thanks.”

“Explain.”

Sora groaned. “It feels like we're always trying too hard. We never fight.” She sighed when Mimi raised her brows. “I mean about us. Our relationship. Shouldn't we fight about us sometimes?”

“You broke up with Matt because you guys don't fight about your relationship?”

“You're making it sound stupid.”

“I'm just repeating what you said.”

Sora flicked a straw wrapper at her and it barely fluttered. “I tried once. To fight with him. About the band. I acted like I was jealous of it, even though I wasn't.” She laughed and Mimi took another big bite of yakisoba. “He just looked at me, you know, like he was trying to get me and then he asked if he should quit.”

“Seriously?”

“Dead serious. He wasn't even mad. He said it didn't matter. Like music didn't matter more than me.”

“That's really sweet.”

“It's not. It's uncomfortable.” Sora poked at her food and everything seemed to rush out of her in one breath. “I'm always uncomfortable. When its just us, I get... he makes me nervous – my stomach hurts, sometimes I can't even breathe.”

“Sounds like a crush.”

“It's exactly like a crush.” Sora frowned. “For four years.”

Mimi swallowed another bite of noodles and stared at her, hard. “You broke up with Matt because you've had a crush on him for four years.”

“I just want to be friends again. I want to sit in a room with him while he plays guitar and not feel like I have to sing his praises. I want to work on a sketch without him telling me how beautiful it is. I want him to forget our anniversary. I want him to do something wrong.” Sora's eyes sunk to her uneaten meal and found a notification on her phone.

“You want someone less perfect.”

Nodding, Sora checked her messages. “I guess.”

**sora you dissapoint me. i left u the perfect opening and u blew it. so u coming 2 the party or what?**

“Do you want to go to this party Tai's bugging me about?” Sora asked.

Mimi beamed. “Who do you think convinced him to go?”

 

* * *

 

 

**emergency meeting**

“I call bullshit,” Davis grumbled.

The _pew pew pew_ of the arcade shooter quieted when Yolei stopped her relentless button mashing to raise a brow at him. It shot up like a question mark beneath her lenses, glaring with the countless lights of electronics. “What?”

Leaning against the side of an old pinball machine, Davis lifted his phone so she could see the text on his screen.

Ken took out another couple zombies before racking up his arcade gun. Davis huffed when Ken's name outranked his in the high scores.

Pushing hair behind his ear, Ken pulled his cell from his back pocket. “I have the same text.”

Yolei hung up the gun she'd still been holding and grinned devilishly when her name climbed to the top of the screen. She flipped open her phone. “He sent it to all of us.

“It's bullshit,” Davis spat. “Guaranteed. Mimi's in town, scheming. She probably stole his phone.”

“It does say emergency,” said Ken.

“Wait. No, Davis is right. I think he's bluffing.” She pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her purse and attempted to smooth it. “Apparently Tai's class is lacking in graphic designers. I think someone did this in _Paint_. God awful.”

She held up a flyer covered in ridiculously drawn confetti and written entirely in _Comic Sans_. “The seniors are throwing a graduation party.”

Ken looked at his phone again. “Why would Tai invite underclassmen?”

“Because it's Tai,” said Yolei. “He likes attention.”

Davis frowned. “He's going to beat me up.”

“Oh please, he messaged all of us.”

“I'm not going,” said Davis. **Bullshit** ,he typed.

**u got me emergency party**

And then a second later, **dont worry, im not gonna beat u up**

Davis leaned forward, peering suspiciously around the corner to find a bunch of elementary kids gathered around the latest version of DDR. No Tai. He held up a finger when Yolei tried to talk to him. **Thanks** , he wrote.It took him a while to hammer out the next line. **Kari gonna be there? I need to talk to her.**

**maybe not**

“What is that supposed to mean?” asked Yolei.

Davis flinched and shrugged his shoulder into her chin, nudging her away. “Stop reading my texts.”

“You were about to show it to me anyway.”

True, but he wasn't about to admit it. “Mind your own business.”

“Please, your business is everyone's business.”

“No it's not.” Davis looked to Ken for back up and was let down by a shrug. “Shut up.”

“I didn't say anything,” said Ken.

Davis huffed and showed Ken his phone. “What is this supposed to mean?”

“I think he's being purposefully elusive.”

“So that I come? Or I don't? Maybe he forgot to leave me out of the message.”

“I doubt that,” said Ken.

“He knows it takes two to tango,” said Yolei.

“There was no tango-ing,” Davis snapped, trying not to sound disappointed. “We had a moment.”

“With your tongues. While she was dating TK.”

Davis reached into his hair to fiddle with his goggles before he remembered they were missing. He could still picture them, nestled in Kari's hair. He crossed his arms. “I know, I know. I'm an asshole.”

“You just weren't thinking,” said Ken. If it had come from someone else, Davis would've taken it as an insult, but Ken did this thing with his voice that was eerily soothing.

“Was that Kari's excuse?” Yolei's eyes went all squinty, the same way they did whenever she took off her glasses. Davis sorta wanted to steal them so she always looked that stupid.

“It was _a moment_ ,” he repeated.

She was already ignoring him, fingernails clicking against buttons as she hammered out her own texts at breakneck speed.

Davis pouted at Ken and returned to Tai's message. It must have taken him a good five minutes to write back, because Ken was already winning against the next round of computer zombies. **Tell her to come. I'll be good. You can even chaperone us**.

His phone gave a pleasant chirp in return.

**as if u had a choice**

Davis started to respond when Yolei's voice squealed, “Oh! We're doing makeovers at Sora's!”

“We?” he asked.

“For the party. With Mimi. The _girls,_ ” Yolei said. Before Davis could open his mouth again, she looked up from her phone to glare at him. “Kari's not coming.”

He frowned. “Crap.”

Ken gave him a small smile. “Whack-a-mole?”

“How'd ya guess?”

 

* * *

 

 

**emergency meeting**

Green eyes scanned the words through thin metal bars. Ripping off his glove, Cody typed a quick reply. **Where?**

His fingers tapped impatiently on the end of a shinai while he waited for a response. “Sorry, sensei.”

Removing his helmet, Chikara Hida gave a wave of dismissal and kicked back a swig of prune juice. His white beard came back glistening around a smile, wrinkles kissing the corners of his cheeks. “How is the Digital World these days?”

“Peaceful.” Cody pulled off his own helmet and pushed strands of damp hair from his eyes. He looked over his shoulder to where Upamon was happily playing with his own mini shinai, his oversized ears swinging it around with strange precision. Cody's attention turned back to his phone and it felt suddenly heavy in his hand. “It's been a long time since we've had a meeting.”

“We haven't seen anyone since I've been back,” complained Upamon, suddenly dropping his weapon. He bounced across the dojo floor and flew into Cody's back, forcing him forward. “Are we having a meeting?”

“Sounds like it.” His phone chimed and he peered down at the new message.

**Bullshit** , it said. A tiny avatar bursting with burgundy hair appeared beside it. Davis was grinning behind his goggles and shooting up what he must have thought was some sort of American gang sign.

Cody squinted at his phone, watching as Tai and Davis messaged back and forth.

“Is everything all right?” his grandfather asked.

“False alarm,” Cody answered flatly. He gave Upamon's head an affectionate pat and typed out a quick message of his own.

**Davis, you're in a group text.**

His phone chimed again.

**Fuck**

 

* * *

 

 

_Ba-ding._

_Ba-ding. Ba-ding._

_Ba-ding_.

The phone slid under a pillow and a body slid under the sheets, further and further until it was just a ball at the foot of the bed. It gave a pitiful moan. “Please stop.”

A door creaked open. “You could turn it off.”

The lump shook, a pathetic vibrating that only ended when the smoothly tucked corners of the the comforter were yanked out from under the mattress, uncovering it.

Susumu Kamiya sat on the bed and gave his daughter's hair a rub. Chestnut strands stuck in every direction, clinging to the sheets.

Kari pulled the covers back over her head. “I messed everything up,” she moaned, wiping damp cheeks into her mattress. “Even Tai's mad at me.”

“He's not mad at you, honey. He's just brothering.” Susumu laughed, just a little snort of appreciation at his own humor. “You know, like mothering, but he's your brother...”

“Got it, Dad,” Kari moaned.

“Anyway, you didn't mess everything up. You're in high school, Kari. This isn't time for a serious relationship anyway.”

“You mean _any_ relationship.”

“That's my girl.”

_Ba-ding._

Susumu's hand reached and slipped under her pillow. He started scrolling through her messages.

Kari peeked from under the covers. “Dad!”

“You don't want to read that. Or that.” He stretched his arm away from her grabbing hand. “Protecting my daughter's virtue is my dadly duty. Please.”

Kari found her nose smushed under his palm. “Stop looking at my—”

“Definitely not that. Wow. I'm gonna have a talk with his mother about that language. Oh here.” Susumu released her face and handed her the phone. A row of texts had appeared, all accompanied by a grinning picture of Mimi Tachikawa, who (courtesy some good trick photography) seemed to be sporting Lady Liberty's crown.

“You should go have fun with the girls,” Susumu said. “Get out of the house.”

Kari looked up from her phone and frowned. “Stop fathering me.”

“Too late.” He patted her knee with a boyish grin. “Did that a long time ago.”

 

* * *

 

 

**im here. ur mom made dinner. its delish**

“Mmmmm, Mrs. Izumi,” Tai mumbled through a mouthful of dumplings, “dese are amadin'.” He grabbed another between his fingers and offered it to Joe, who sat awkwardly beside him, knees knocking into the Izumi's coffee table.

Joe peered over his glasses at the food, moist in Tai's palm. “Let's leave some for Izzy.”

Shrugging, Tai popped it in to join the others. The bedroom door opened.

“Iddy!” Tai swallowed. “Can I have your mom?”

Izzy's eyes, dark and lined with heavy shadows, flickered to the kitchen where his mother was putting together another plate. His attention turned back to Tai who seemed to be waiting for a serious answer. “No.”

“I have some fresh bok choy and garlic,” Mrs. Izumi said, carrying a tray into the living room. The smell preceded her and Tai's mouth started to water.

“Trade?”

Izzy ignored him and turned his attention to Joe. “I'm going to make an educated guess and conclude the emergency's a farce.”

“This is why I don't add you to group texts,” Tai grumbled. “You ruin all the fun.”

Mrs. Izumi set the bok choy on the table and Tai quickly snatched some up with his chopsticks, thanking her through a loud slurp. “Would you boys like anything to drink?” she asked.

“Could I take my dinner in my room?”

“Oh, well, of course, Izzy, but,” Mrs. Izumi seemed to hesitate, her hands wringing together, “don't you want to take a break?”

“I want to show them what I've been working on,” he said, rubbing a tired eye. “I'll go to bed after that.”

“No way, _emergency meeting_ , Izzy.”

Izzy set his eyebrows until they looked like a big bushy V and Tai grimaced.

“Is everything all right?”

“Everything's fine, Mom. Don't worry.”

“Okay, I'll just put this all on a tray for you. Tai, Joe, are you staying for—”

“No,” Izzy said. “They have a party to go to.” He pulled open his door, motioning for them to step inside.

“Aw man,” Tai moaned, slumping into Izzy's office chair. His neck craned backwards, making it seem as if his large mop of hair was weighing him down. “Killjoy, that's what you are. I coulda boxed that up and taken it home for later. Do you know how hard it is to get a good meal at my house?”

Izzy pushed the chair so that it rolled away from his desk, Tai flopping with it. An array of screens were running in black and white, with code so tiny that Tai had squint his eyes to make out any of it.

“So what's got you too busy to make it to my graduation party? This is like a once in a lifetime opportunity, Izzy.”

“No one went to mine,” interjected Joe, stretching his legs as he sat on Izzy's bed. “Including me.”

“Wrong.” Tai snapped his fingers. “I went to yours.”

Izzy tapped a couple of lines into the screen, his dark eyes running back and forth to double check his work. He looked haggard. His red hair was long again, sticking out in every direction in greasy clumps. Tai was about to ask when he'd last thought to take a shower when he spoke up.

“I'm replicating the data that existed in the world MaloMyotismon brought Davis's team into.”

Tai sat up straight and used his feet to roll the chair forward. His eyes danced over the screens. “You mean Whoop-ass Wishing World?”

“That's what you named it?” Joe asked.

Tai gave a shrug. “Davis did. Made sense.”

“WWW.” Izzy's top lip curled with a hint of amusement, fingers still flying across the keys. “Because of it's connection to the Digital World, I've actually managed to extract a quantitative code that could potentially give us the power to create tangible spaces with the images in our brains: memories, dreams...”

Joe gave a heavy swallow. “You're kidding.”

“Not at all,” groaned a voice beside his rear.

Joe jumped, literally taking off across the room with a hand clutched over his breast when Tentomon appeared from under the covers.

“He's been working on it all night,” Tentomon moaned, green digital eyes flickering sleepily. “And all day. And the night before that and the night before that...”

“So what you're saying is”—Tai gave a big grin and rolled up, bumping the back of the chair into Izzy's legs—“he needs a break. A party perhaps?”

Izzy was already shaking his head. “I'm not going, Tai. Do you have any idea what a breakthrough like this could mean? We can dream up”—he started to look a bit manic— “ _endless_ possibilities. This could mean a world of unlimited resources... we can literally _create_ an entire _world_ of unlimited resources.”

“You must have weird dreams.”

“He has no time for dreams,” yawned Tentomon. “Never sleeps.”

“Izzy, Izzy, Izzy,” Tai tsked. He stood and threw an arm around his shoulders. “You gotta know when to quit. This isn't healthy, is it, Joe?”

Joe was already busy picking up an assortment of empty tea bottles from the floor. “I hope you're drinking water.”

Izzy lifted his shadow-rimmed eyes to Tai's, squinting. “Breakthrough.”

“Is this why you missed my soccer game Friday?” Tai pouted when Izzy gave a shrug. “You wound me.”

A knock disturbed them and Mrs. Izumi slowly opened the door with a tray of food in her arms. There was enough for all of them even though they weren't staying. “It's so nice to see you boys,” she said when Izzy quickly turned back to his screen. “It's been too long.”

Tai deflated. “College applications, ugh.”

In truth, they were only half the problem. It had been more than six months since he had attempted to get the group together. The older they got, the more complicated everything seemed to get. School was a given, relationships were just, ugh, drama... heck, even soccer was crazy. A quarter of the team was stressing over college scouts. Tai was over it. He hated complicated – the stress, everything--it was easier to avoid it.

“Just wait until you're in college,” groaned Joe. “I don't even know why I'm here.”

“Easy.” Tai grinned. “Me.”

Mrs. Izumi smiled. “I can't believe how much you've all grown.” She set the tray down and the fingers on her hand twitched, just behind her son's red hair. It lowered suddenly when Izzy began to plug in another line of a code and Tai noticed the way her smile stretched when her eyes filled with tears.

Joe must have noticed too, because he started fumbling with his armful of empty bottles and excused himself, bolting out of the room to throw them into the recycling bin.

Izzy immediately stopped typing and turned to her. “I can't speak for Tai, but I'd deduce my growth has a lot to do with your incredible cooking.” He rubbed one tired eye and forced a grateful smile.

“Please speak for me,” Tai said, swiping yet another dumpling. He internally breathed a sigh of relief when Mrs. Izumi's face lit up, tears shining.

“I really appreciate it,” Izzy continued. Pink welled into his cheeks when she kept smiling. “Thanks, Mom.”

Her voice came out sweet and strangled. “You're welcome, sweetheart. You boys let me know if there is anything else I can get you.” The door closed after Tai caught her wiping her eyes.

He turned to Izzy. There was a brief moment unspoken between them, a concern Tai wasn't sure how to voice: _What's going on? Why is your mom crying? Are you okay?_

Izzy turned back to his screen and Tentomon buzzed into the side of his leg, a not so subtle nudge. He leaned down to grab a dumpling from his partner's outstretched claw.

“I'll call you when I've reached a stopping point,” Izzy said before taking a bite. His mouse clicked once, twice, and then he reached backwards without looking and rolled the office chair back in front of the desk. He took a seat and clicked again.

“Okay, I get it.” Tai shoveled a mound of food into his palm for the road. “You're on a roll. _Breakthrough_. Yeah, call me when you decide to be cool again.”

“A breakthrough that could theoretically save the world.”

“Meh. Already did that. _Literally_.” Tai put one last dumpling on his pile. “You make sure he gets a shower later, eh Tentomon?”

Izzy frowned while Tentomon gave an obedient salute.

Tai's fingers danced by his head in a weak imitation of Medusa's snakes. “Your hair, Izzy, geez. Shower! Water, food... life!” He tore into the dough with his teeth and spoke through a mouthful of pork. “You know Mimi's gonna be there, right?”

There was another light flush in Izzy's cheeks and Tai felt triumphant.

“Tell her I said hello,” Izzy mumbled before taking his own bite of food. “How long is she in town?”

“A week, I think.” Tai gave a shrug and headed for the door. “Life,” he hissed, backing out of the room. “La-iiife.” He could have sworn he saw Izzy start to laugh, just the slightest shake of his shoulders.

Joe almost ran into his back. “Where are you going?”

Tai popped another piece of food into his mouth. “To da pardy.”

“What, that's it? You aren't going to drag him out by the collar and call him a pansy?”

“Nope.”

Joe glared through his lenses. “Yet it's perfectly acceptable to do to me?”

“Can't do it to Izzy.” Tai slapped him between the shoulders of his collared shirt, hard. “He's got a backbone.”

 

* * *

 

 

The screen had gone blurry long before he finally quit. Izzy's face lowered onto the keyboard, crushing keys. Blank lines entered beneath the cursor until there was nothing left but black. It took a minute before he realized he'd fallen asleep.

Izzy peeled his sticky cheek from the back of his hand and robotically erased the lines until he was back to a screen full of code. He rubbed his eyes but the numbers wouldn't focus. Yawning, he saved his work and rolled his chair backwards.

“Shower,” he mumbled, still hearing Tai's voice chiming cheerfully in his ear.

It had been a long time since Tai had been by.

Maybe it just felt long. Time didn't pass normally when he was working. _Obsessing_ , Tentomon would say worriedly from his usual position on his bed. The digimon spent the rest of his time in the kitchen with his mom, worrying. Izzy cast a look over his shoulder as he trudged tiredly to the hall, catching the digimon snoring beneath the covers. Guilt crawled into his belly and he slowly closed the door behind him.

Izzy tried to shake it off. It would be over soon. The program was complete. It was riddled with bugs, a million different glitches that he couldn't seem to figure out, but the essence was there. The power to create, just waiting for his fingertips.

Turning on the water seemed mundane, infinitesimal in comparison to everything he could be doing. Necessary only because he was, unfortunately, still very human.

Izzy stared at himself in the mirror, his red hair was greasy and wild from endless frustrated tugs and long enough that it looked a miniature version of Tai's gravity defying mane. He attempted to smooth it and it stuck to his scalp in kinky waves. He gave himself a small sniff and his nose crinkled with disgust.

Sighing, he stripped and stepped into the shower. Code danced across his closed eyes, burnt permanently into his retinas, while the screen in his room slowly ate it away.

Inside his computer, the numbers collapsed. Code slipped from all sides of the monitor, funneling to the center of the screen. The whole room flashed, a distortion of a pixels, just a glimpse into the world beyond. Then everything went silent.

Months of work lost and in its wake, a black hole, just waiting for something else to come close.

  
  


 

 


	2. Void

  _And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep._ **Genesis 1:2**

* * *

Origin.

The beginning and birthplace of life; one of science’s greatest mysteries. It’s one of the few I’ve never felt the need to solve. That may be because, in the end, it’s all theoretical. If I’m being honest with myself, it’s more likely because it hits too close to home.

I’ve spent half my life learning code. To many it seems complex, but I find its predictability comforting. It’s really just a language. Most of the time, I find it much simpler than ours. There’s no extra layer, no tone of voice or gesture to change its meaning. What you see is what you get. With the correct knowledge, you achieve the expected, programmed result.

But the Digital World has always tested me, pushed the boundaries I thought unbreakable, forced me to reevaluate logic, to see code as alive. To live. I still find it incredible that a world exists that is so easily manipulated, where a single stroke of my hand can erase power and create it.

I sometimes wondered if its creation was intentional. If some programmer sat in the beyond, forming the depths of the oceans with his hand.

Now, in the darkness, I don't know.

* * *

**Chapter Two  
Void**

* * *

Yolei Inoue was loud.

She was pretty sure she’d established that since birth. Her parents had almost lost their minds, she was told, with three young children, a store to attend to, and an accident that never shut up.

Yolei’s throng of siblings loved reminding her that she was the _oops_ baby. Maybe that was why squealing was a constant in the Inoue household during her first few years. Babies sensed things, after all. Yolei even swore she could remember the time her parents left her in the stockroom with her neglectful brother, who did nothing but drown out her cries by blasting the sound on his Gameboy. Her mother came back an hour later to find her dry-sobbing in her walker, poop everywhere. Mantarou still thought it was funny. Yolei still hated the sound of _Zelda._ And the smell of poop.

So, she was going to demand attention, _oops_ or not. Afterall, she had three siblings to compete with: Mantarou and his constant troublemaking, Chizuru and Momoe with their perfect grades and relentless bickering. Oh, and, of course, her parent’s first baby: the store.

It felt like an answer to prayer when the Digital World found her special. Even if she was given second-hand crests and a team that was falling apart at the seams. It was a good thing they never did anything useful anymore. Ever. God, she missed Digiworld, even the scary parts.

Now, without it under constant threat, she felt like she was missing an outlet. At least there she could be loud without too many dirty looks. Her enthusiasm was always warmly welcomed by their childlike partners. And when they were fighting bad-guys she could be as pissed as she wanted. Sort of. Hawkmon did like keeping her in check as did Cody. And sometimes TK and Kari, and even Davis, who had no right because he was just as loud as she was. So maybe she wasn’t completely unopposed, but at least she didn’t feel like she was one second from being kicked off the team.

She was chosen too. On purpose.

But now everything was rainbows and butterflies. The Digital World didn’t need her, so she needed a new outlet.

She wasn’t sure this was it.

Yolei squeezed through the stuffy crowd of teenagers. Music throbbed in her ears and the heat of what felt like a thousand bodies pressed against her sides, making her want to shed the cardigan she had insisted on wearing. Her face was still burning.

Upon arriving, she had ungracefully stumbled over her heels and squashed the toes of that cute guy from Chem class. She spent the next few minutes gushing awkward apologizes and flirting (horribly) before Mimi barged her way between them. Yolei still wasn’t sure if she had been rescued or if Mimi had stolen her thunder.

Sora waved them on, saying something about someone Yolei couldn’t make out. She still wasn’t sure where they were going and she had shouted, “what?” at least twelve times before she realized Sora was already gone. Finding herself abandoned, she was tempted to give into the wailing throes of her youth.

It was at that moment she spotted Davis surrounded by a horde of his soccer buddies, already buzzed. He caught her eye and raised a red solo cup in greeting, sloshing his boots with beer. Her finger flung at him like a bullet.

“No.”

He bounded up to her side like a puppy ignorant of being scolded, big brown eyes casting eager looks over her shoulder. Yolei could tell he'd been drinking because of the way they shone, full and glossy, like he was on the verge of breaking into tears, which he often did after one too many. The first time Davis ever drank (he stole some of Mantarou's secret stash of scotch),  he lied on the Inoue’s kitchen floor for nearly an hour laughing at her oversized animal slippers and sobbing because pigs shouldn't be that cute.

She flicked his nose. “Stop that.”

“Owwww.” He rubbed it, eyes crossing to find the damage. “Stop what?”

“Looking for Kari.”

So he did. And for what seemed like a very long moment, he looked at her.

“Wait, why are you so tall? The hell you wearin? Is that makeup?” He actually poked her lip with his stubby finger, smearing it with red.

Yolei slapped his hand, teetering backward to avoid his careful observation of her face. Dodging another finger, she caught sight of Ken, sitting on a couch. He had looked away from a conversation with one of Davis's teammates and caught her eye, a twitch of amusement curling his lip.

Blood rushed to her cheeks. “I always wear makeup.”  

A brow rose, wrinkling Davis's forehead. “Not like that.”

In a flash, Mimi was grabbing her shoulders and pushing her forward like a human offering. “Doesn't she look cute?”

It took a second for Yolei to regain her balance on her new stilettos. Davis gave an odd sort of giggle and she straightened, exaggerating the extra inches she had on him. He instantly teetered to the balls of his feet.

“Mimi, you're back!” His grin had turned cheesy and the gloss in his eyes sparkled under the dim lamp light. His hand swung up and down in front of Yolei in some sort of grand gesture. “Did you do this?”

“Just a little paint on a beautiful canvas.” Mimi laughed. “Now tell her she looks nice.”

The people in the room were beginning to swell, filling every available space. Ken stood to make room for a couple on the couch. Yolei tugged on her cardigan, covering the mole in her cleavage before he noticed. Her clothes were courtesy Mimi too. Well, really they were from a Mimi-dictated shopping spree that had almost depleted Yolei’s entire paycheck. She still weren’t sure they were worth two weeks of moping at I-Mart.

Davis’s gaze fell to her nervous fingers. A strange sound came from the back of his throat, something between a cough and a laugh.

“You look nice.” The words came out easy, like his lips were too loose.

In an instant, Mimi grabbed his shirt, yanking him towards her. He stumbled with a “wha the?” while she flipped his collar. After checking his tag, she gave a satisfactory click of her tongue.

“Classy. Trying to impress someone?”

“You.” Actual tears seeped from the corners of his eyes when he laughed.

Mimi beamed.

“How much has he had to drink?” Yolei asked Ken when he joined them, nursing a red solo cup still filled to the brim.

“Not enough,” said Davis.

From behind his back, Ken silently lifted a hand, showing all five fingers.

“Already? Geez, Davis.”

“What? They said chug.”

“Are there even any seniors here?” Mimi cut in, looking around the crowded room. She had to shout to compete with the rising volume. “I think half these people were in my class. Where'd Sora go?”

Davis spoke before anyone could answer. “Kari didn't come with you guys?”

“I think she's coming with Tai,” said Mimi.

Yolei snapped her fingers. “That's where Sora went.”

“With Kari?” Davis's eyes looked even more watery.

“With Tai. I think I saw him in the kitchen.”

He started to storm/stumble away and, after excusing him, Ken followed.

Yolei shouted, “Don't let him do anything stupid!” and Ken gave an obedient nod before he disappeared behind a swarm of teens.

A low sigh deflated through her lips. “I don't think he noticed.” She tugged absently on the hem of her miniskirt just to make sure it was still covering the shorts she'd hidden beneath.

Mimi laughed. “Oh I think he did.” She stood on tiptoes to look through the crowd. “Did you see Joe and Izzy with him?”

“With Ken?”

“No, Tai.”

“Oh. No, just Tai. I think. I mean, hard to miss him. The hair.” Yolei's fingers flew from her head like an explosion.

“Hm.” Standing on tiptoes to look over the crowd, Mimi squealed, “Ooooh! Oh! Nevermind. Matt's here. I can't believe he came. I'll be right back.”

“Hey, did you”—Yolei stopped short when Mimi slid sideways to fit between two swelling groups of teenagers—“see TK?” she finished lamely. Adjusting her glasses to buy time, she wondered if she should follow and decided on texting Cody instead.

Her phone felt heavy in her hand and, after a moment, she pulled out her D-terminal instead. Even though it bulged from her sweater, it somehow seemed lighter. The technology, now outdated and clunky, thrived with purpose. Cody's name lived permanently beside an avatar of Armadillomon, who danced on the screen in blocky pixels.

**FROM: Yolei Inoue  
** TO: Cody Hida  
SUBJECT: Cue the nostalgia aka I'm alone again 

**I miss this clunky thing. Remember before we all had** **cell phones** **and we used to think we were the shiz because we could chat on these? I used to stay up all night making text art on here. Best one: my perfect rendition of Shurimon made entirely out of $ symbols. That was talent.** ****  
**Wish you were here.** **You should’ve come. No one would’ve cared you’re thirteen. Or noticed. Pretty sure you have Davis beat by an inch now. Plus, you have that old wise man look. Oh, that reminds me.** **Tell your grandpa I** **’m going to take** **him up on the kendo lessons. Some guy just tried to slap my ass. I'll take a moment to thank Arukenimon for my ability to dodge multiple appendages.** **  
** **Hey, does Upamon know how Hawkmon's doing? I feel like I haven't seen him forever. I miss him even more than the text art.**

Yolei leaned against a wall, butt safely tucked away, ankles already throbbing from the heels, and tried to be quiet.

...

* * *

...

Joe Kido was nervous.

Always had been. Worried about everything. He attributed it to being detail-oriented, something that had been passed down through his family for generations, like medicine and expectations.

It helped his parents make quick decisions under pressure. Their obsession with the little things meant the difference between life and death in the operating room. It made them good at what they did. It’s what made his brother a brilliant researcher.

It made him insane.

“Maybe you should have a drink.”

And there it was, sloshing in Joe’s hand without him remembering accepting it. Tai grinned and knocked their cups together before returning to his phone.

“Alcohol makes it worse,” said Joe, shaking drops of beer from his hand.

Tai typed out a couple of lines. “What worse?”

Glaring, Joe took a small sip.

Tai pocketed his phone. “Oh, come on. You’ve seen her a hundred times.” The back of his hand plummeted into Joe’s sternum. “You’ve got this.”

Beer dripped down Joe’s nose. “Thanks.” He wiped it and defogged his glasses. “But I’m not here to tell her anything.”

“No better time than the present.”

“Possibly. But there’s certainly a better place.”

“Oh please, Mimi’d love it if you made a big scene at my graduation party.”

“You mean _you_ would.”

“It’d make my night.”

There was a long pause, filled with the sounds of teenagers shouting, “drink, drink drink!”

“At a kegger.”

“Joe, college has changed you.”

Before Joe had even finished rolling his eyes, Tai’s hand had shot up in greeting.

Joe took a hurried sip of beer and ended up coughing all over his shirt.

“Easy, there, big guy.”

“Big?” Joe wheezed.

Tai grinned. “Hey, the gang’s all here!”

Joe followed his line of sight. Sora stood there among the crowd, alone. Her red hair was styled neatly into a bun behind her head and a couple loose hairs fell down the nape of her neck when she looked over her shoulder. A sweater slipped from her shoulder, showing off a sprinkle of freckles. When she turned back, Tai was still staring at her, his smile dimpling his cheeks.

“It’s just me,” said Sora.

“Ah, but you’re the glue,” Tai said. “Where you go, everyone follows.”

She rolled her eyes, but the corners of her mouth twitched through her pursed lips. “I’m pretty sure everyone followed you.”

“Or was dragged against their will,” muttered Joe, still clearing his throat.

“Can you believe we’re graduating?” Sora asked, although her eyes had acknowledged Joe’s suffering. Sora had always had a gift for changing the subject without making you feel bad. “Did Tai tell you he got into Tokyo U?”

Tai beamed. “So did Sora.”

Sora frowned. “I still haven’t decided.”

“Come on, it wouldn’t be right without you there,” Tai gave her a nudge and covered his mouth without lowering his voice. “Joe might die.”

Joe coughed. “What?”

“You’re gonna be an RA next year, right?”

“I’m rethinking it already.”

“Matt and I already put in to be roomies. Just think of the possibilities-”

“I’d rather not.”

“Without Sora there to boss us around, you’re going to have to take on that responsibility all alone.”

“Definitely resigning,” said Joe.

“See?” Tai snickered. “You’re needed for Joe’s mental health.”

A long second passed before Sora responded. Her gaze seemed to have fallen through the crowd, her lips pulled flat. “I’ll take that into consideration.”

As if Tai’s limbs were filled with helium, they all seemed to deflate at once, making him sag at least two inches. It was something Sora usually would’ve noticed if she wasn’t so busy looking somewhere else.

Joe let out a long sigh and gathered his courage. “So… did Mimi come with you?”

Sora’s attention whipped back to them, her eyes instantly brightening. “I lost her and Yolei in the crowd, but they’re here.” She looked to Tai. “Is Kari home?”

“Nah, she came. Just got swept away by some classmates awhile ago,” Tai said.

“That’s good.” Sora wiped her hands on the side of her shirt, straightening the edges over her hips. “I was worried she wouldn’t come.”

“I’m still worried she _did_.” Tai went into instant big-brother mode, recovering the inches he’d lost. “I think I sorta invited Davis _and_ TK.”

“Are you serious?” asked Sora.

“What? I didn’t want either of them to feel left out.”

Joe scoffed. “A minute ago you were threatening vital parts of their anatomy…”

“I also might have my own agenda - OW!”

Sora was grabbing Tai by the ear. “Keep your hands off my children.” She gave Joe an overly sweet smile. “I’ve made my peace with being the group mom.”

After being released, Tai rubbed the side of his head against his shoulder like a wounded animal.

“I can’t believe Matt agreed to room with you,” Sora said.

Tai shook his drink at her. “What’s that s’posed to mean?”

“You two are going to drive each other crazy.”

“That’s why he makes the perfect roommate,” Tai said. “I already know how to push all his buttons, so I don’t have to find out how to bug someone new. And he always has a constant supply of hair products, so if I just bank on that, I’m probably going to make money by the end of the first semester. Easiest year ever.”

“What?” Joe asked.

“But enough about us.” Tai swung his arm over Joe’s shoulders. “We need to convince this man right here to confess and get on with it.”

Joe flushed. “What are you talking-”

“Joe, shhh, Sora already knows.”

“You told her?”

Sora laughed. “Joe, I think everyone knows. Even Mimi.”

Joe felt his limbs deflate, and he shrunk three more inches than Tai had before. “Well, that’s not encouraging.”

“She’s single this time,” said Sora.

Tai shoved him in his deflated arm. “Go!”

Sora waved. “In that general direction.”

By the time Joe had swallowed back his nerves enough to protest, they had already turned to talk to each other. He scanned the crowd, eyes searching for familiar honey-brown hair while he wondered if that was even the color she was wearing now.

...

* * *

...

Mimi Tachikawa was determined.

She had always been a willful child. Her parents even had books on the subject, despite the fact that they never followed their advice. There were a lot of positives to their permissive parenting style. She was outgoing and candid and she was used to getting what she wanted.

And right now, she wanted to talk to Matt Ishida.

His sharp blue eyes had passed her way and turned immediately back to the strings of a guitar without so much as a glimpse of a smile.

Mimi frowned. With ease, she pushed past the swarm of fangirls to find a place by his side. Three girls had somehow managed to jam themselves into the loveseat around him, draping over the arms and cushions. A game of chicken ensued when Mimi started to sit in one of his fangirl's laps.

“Excuse me!”

“No,” Mimi said. “Excuse _me._ ”

“What? I was sitting here.”

Mimi's rear continued to move down.

The girl finally gave up her seat. “What is _wrong_ with you?”

Mimi settled onto the cushion with a loud sigh of relief before turning her attention to the blonde. Matt stared, both amused and embarrassed and all his emotions hiding carefully behind the straight line of his lips.

“Oh, Matt.”

His voice was flat. “Hi Mimi.”

“I'm back. Fortunately for you, I'm just visiting, so I only have a week to nag you.” Her mouth stretched into a slow smile while his twitched. The girls around them huffed. “Sora's here.”

“I know.” A couple of strings twanged, suddenly out of tune.

“I need your side of the story.”

She hit a nerve, but that was too bad. Matt was full of nerves, everyone seemed to strike them at some point in time. Crossing her arms, Mimi pressed her shoulder into his and he instantly flushed, much to the adoration and jealousy of his fangirls.

Clearing his throat, he stood and stuffed his guitar into its case. “I need some air.”

Mimi followed.

Matt sucked down air in hordes of smoke, obliterating a cigarette so quickly that she was amazed he wasn't choking to death by now. Waving a hand in front of her face, she snatched the pack from his hand and gave them a shake, right in front of his straight, gorgeous nose.

“What is _this_?”

“A pack of cigarettes.”

“When did you start smoking?”

He didn't answer.

Mimi crossed her arms and the pack began an angry dance on the edge of her elbow. “You know what happens to musicians who smoke?”

“They play music?”

“They lose their voices. And their fans cry and their bands break up and they never get back the woman they love, that's what.”

He depleted the other half of the cigarette.

“Is this because Sora dumped you?”

Ash scattered over the balcony into the busy street below. People swelled all around them and suddenly the conversation seemed too public, even for her. Mimi watched the way his face changed, his carefully guarded expression.

“No,” he said.

“Yes it is,” Mimi said back, even though she didn't have to. He leaned over the railing and she moved to his side. Her voice grew quiet and she returned the dwindling pack. “You should tell her.”

The pack of cigarettes bounced in his hands over an open sky. Smiling, he shook his head. “You haven't changed.”

“Glad to be the one constant in your life,” she teased. He went sideways from her nudge, flushing again. “Seriously though, she's here. You guys should talk. Get everything out in the open, work things out.”

“It's not that easy.”

“Yes it is.”

“Mimi.” His voice went low, that same tone he often took with Tai when he'd had enough. “If she doesn't want to be with me, that's her choice. I'm not going to talk her out of it.”

She tried not to whine. “Why not?”

Matt pocketed the cigarettes. “Because I have nothing to say.” He looked at her then, that intense gaze boring through layers Mimi didn't like to admit she had. “Aren’t there things you’d rather not talk about?”

Every muscle in her body tensed as memories came bounding to the forefront of her mind, sitting there, wagging their little tails, begging to be shared. Then, for some reason, she thought of her parents, her personality, and wished that sometimes they would have told her no.

Mimi stuck an accusing finger under Matt's stupid, perfect nose. “What do you know?”

“Nothing.” Smirking, he stood straight. “But it's nice to know you aren't as transparent as you make yourself out to be.”

Then he gave a nod, directed at someone over her shoulder.

Mimi whipped around, heart pounding, and before Matt could even get out a greeting, she had already flung herself around Joe's lanky frame.

...

* * *

...

TK Takaishi wasn’t ready.

It was too soon to see her again. He wondered for a moment if it was too soon for everything. Too soon to try to be friends like this, too soon to act like things were okay, too soon for their relationship.

It was definitely too soon for love.

His mother had been telling him that ever since she realized they were serious. It was always the same speech. _You’re too young, Takeru. Don’t rush into anything. Your father and I…_ As if it was age that had turned his parents into workaholics, too tired and stressed to do anything but fight at the end of the day.

So TK had tried really hard not to get too serious too fast, even though he had thought he was different. That _they_ were.

“Hi,” she said.

He said, “Hi,” too.

And when they didn’t say anything else, TK wasn’t sure why he had expected more. Maybe because this was Kari, his closest friend, and he should be able to talk to her. Except he had trouble keeping his eyes locked onto hers when they looked at him like that, like she wanted to strangle him, cry and kiss him, all at once.

As if he’d been the one who kissed someone else.

“How”—she stopped, wrung her hands behind her back—“How’s Patamon?”

“Uh.” TK wanted nothing more than to unbutton the last button on his collar, the one he had buttoned in protest to Matt’s fashion advice. It seemed like a stupid argument now that he couldn’t breathe. “He’s fine.”

Kari shifted in her Mary Janes, toes clicking together, heels apart. They were red, like Dorothy’s, without the rubies.

“Think he misses Gatomon,” TK said to her feet.

“I miss you,” she said.

Someone knocked into TK’s shoulder, smattering his shirt with beer.

“Oh.” Kari reacted before he did, stepping away and coming back to his side before he could register what she had said. Her hand was against his chest, pressing paper towels into the stain.

“Stupid,” she muttered, dabbing. “Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.”

He tried to take the paper towel from her hand and she froze under his touch. “It’s okay,” he said.

“No, it’s not.”

“It’s just a shirt.”

She relinquished the paper towels and TK took the opportunity to unbutton his collar. He swabbed at his sleeve. “It’s a pretty terrible shirt, actually.”

“I liked it.” Her voice was almost too low to hear over the crowd and she was the one avoiding his eyes now. “Here.” She grabbed the wet paper towels from his grasp. “Just wait a minute, okay? Don’t go anywhere. Please.”

TK nodded and watched her squeeze past the majority of the computer club, who had orchestrated some sort of elaborate drinking game. They were huddled around a single laptop and shouting a bunch of gibberish in unison, ending in groans and shots of cheap vodka.

“Izzy!”

“AGHHH!”

“No, nope! Can’t call on absentees.”

“He’s never around anymore. Whyyyy?”

“Stop. Next round. One, two, one one, Super calc frag logistics XP Allah... deux chess!”

The last voice he recognized. Half the group let out a unified cheer while the other half drank. TK shot up a hand, catching Yolei’s attention through the crowd.

“TEEEKAAY!” She pushed toward him and waved off her group’s protests. “I was looking for you.” She teetered forward a bit, resting a hand on the wall to keep her balance.

“How long have you been here?” he asked.

“Maybe an hour. This game, though.” She kicked back an imaginary shot and her glasses slid down her nose. “I don’t get it.”

TK couldn’t help but smile. “You just made everyone drink.”

She blocked her mouth with the back of her hand. “I think we’re making it up as we go.”

“Wouldn’t have guessed. It looked very…formulaic.”

“Ha!” Her finger flew in front of his nose. “And that is the point.” The finger bounced into his shoulder. “Right there. _That_ is the point. But it’s nonsense. Nonsense.”

“Mmhm.”

“Why do you always have the right thing to say?”

TK tried not to laugh. “I literally just said, mmhm.”

“Exactly. Kari is crazy.”

His laughter cut short.

“Sorry, sorry,” Yolei said. “I hold my liquor about as well as I hold my tongue.” Her hand kept gesturing wildly while she talked and an accusing finger pointed out at him again. “Which is not well.”

“Maybe you should take a break from… your game.”

The finger bounced at him. “Yes, good call, sir.”

“I’ll get you some water.”

“And chips!”

TK nodded. “And chips. Hang on a second.”

Yolei snuck onto a barstool the moment it became unoccupied and waved off her computer club friends when they booed at her.

“I’m drunk,” she shouted.

“You only took two shots!” one of them yelled.

The large kitchen was packed to the brim. TK managed to sneak away a bag of chips, but the sink was currently occupied by a zillion red solos preparing for beer pong . He backtracked to the bathroom with an empty cup, half in a daze. When he wasn’t talking to someone, his life felt unreal, like he walking through the halls on Puppetmon’s strings, following the motions.

And when he wasn’t talking he had too much time to think. About Kari, about it being too soon, and wondering if she was still somewhere close, making her way back to him.

...

* * *

...

Cody Hida was tired.

He had never been a good sleeper. Certainly not when he was an infant. His grandfather still liked to talk about how his father would walk Cody up and down the apartment halls after getting off duty, when the nights were late and all was quiet but the sound of Hiroki’s utility belt, jangling with each step. Cody still found a drowsy sort of comfort in the sound of heavy keys.

He didn’t fair much better as a young child, especially on the nights his father wasn’t home. His mother was always awake, wringing her hands until Cody was sure the sound of her raw skin would bring him from his bed. He didn’t understand why the night shift didn’t let her sleep, but he liked the drumming of her heart against his ear and he always found himself in his own bed by morning.

After the funeral, he wondered if he’d always known, deep down why they didn’t sleep when his father was gone.

It was getting late, close to midnight, and even though he had practice in the morning, Cody was sitting at his desk, reading. Every now and then he would turn from his book to his D-terminal, checking for a message.

It’d been over an hour since he’d last heard from Yolei. His hair had long dried from his shower, still combed flat against his forehead, whisping just above the brows. He was long overdue for a haircut, but between kendo and an increasingly demanding school load, he hadn’t had the time to get it done. Yolei had told him he looked “hip.” He wiped it aside, irritated with the way it stuck to his skin, and started to yawn.

“Whatcha up for still, Cody?”

Cody turned to Upamon, who was just two eyes peeking out from beneath a blanket. “Can’t sleep.”

“Well of course ya can’t. You’re sitting up.”

A small twitch curled the corner of Cody’s mouth, but it didn’t stay long enough to be a smile. “I guess Yolei found some friends,” he mused, pressing a button on his D-terminal.

“Is that why you’re still awake?”

He gave a shrug.

“Is there somethin botherin you?”

Cody’s finger jabbed again at the scroll button and the words on the D-terminal blurred in his vision. “Is it strange that I’m already wishing for the good ol’ days?”

“Uh…no?”“

He let out a light laugh, which for him was really just a breath of air. The screen stopped. There was almost a ten month gap between the last two messages. They hardly used D-terminals anymore.

“Maybe I just wish we were closer.”

Before Upamon could question him, the D-terminal beeped, lighting red in the corner. Cody scrolled back down, wondering if Yolei was about to elaborate on her absence and found Tentomon instead.

**FROM: Izzy Izumi  
** TO: Cody Hida  
SUBJECT: URGENT! THIS IS TENTOMON. 

Cody stood up from his chair.

“What is it?” asked Upamon.

He reached across his desk, touching the yellow D-3 that sat in the corner. It felt warm.

“We’re going to Digiworld,” he said.

“Oh, yay!”

“We have to pick up Tentomon first.”

“Oh, yay!” Upamon’s ears paused mid-wiggle. “Wait, where’s Izzy?”

The D-terminal seemed to glare in the corner of Cody’s vision. He grabbed it from his desk and shoved it in his pocket.

“I don’t know,” he said. “But we’re going to find him.”

“Is everyone coming?”

For a long moment, Cody didn’t answer. He grabbed a jacket and a backpack from his closet he kept packed, just in case. He put on his coat and rolled his shoulders, feeling the ache of the day’s kendo practice.

“I hope so.”

“We need to find them too!”

Cody scooped his partner into his arms. “You’re right, but that means you’re going to have to stay in here for awhile.”

Upamon pouted as he hopped into Cody’s backpack. “Okay.”

“We’ll grab some of Mom’s onigiri on the way out.”

“Hooray!”

“Don’t make a mess.”

“Awww.”

After Upamon was settled, Cody took out the D-terminal again, rereading Tentomon’s message.

**Something went wrong with Izzy’s program. He was trying to fix it and he got sucked in. I can’t get through the digiport! HELP!**

He switched the D-terminal for his cell and replied to Tai’s group text.

**Real emergency this time. Izzy’s in trouble. Where are you?**

He was already at Izzy’s house by the time he received a reply.

...

* * *

 

...

He woke to find his wrists shackled.

One might think the natural, immediate response would be to panic. He would have thought so. But when his eyes peeled open to darkness, an eerie calm settled over him like the start of sleep. It seemed too much a dream.

Everything was magnified: the sound of heavy tapping, a scrape across stone, the smooth cold metal against his skin.

Izzy tried to open his eyes again before he realized they were already opened wide.

The darkness was absolute, a deep void still pulling him in.

  
  


 


	3. It Was

****

I think I’ve always been afraid of the dark.

My mother used to turn on a night light every time she tucked me in. I still have the same one: a pink cat that shoots sparkles into the room. They bounce in the darkest places just when I wonder what might be hiding there.  Tai says it makes weird shadows on the wall. He used to sneak past the bottom bunk to turn it off when he thought I was asleep.

Sometimes I wasn’t. I didn’t tell him, but one night, after I spent nearly a week at the hospital with pneumonia, he caught me sniffing back tears. He didn’t turn it off anymore after that.

I’ve never grown out of nightlights.

I certainly never thought I’d be called one. I’ve never even seen the light I’ve cast: the power that caused creatures in a dark world to seek me out, as if I were the sun to their endless night; the light that ends battles and brings truth and casts me aside.

Now, in this place, I wonder if it chose wrong.

Because as afraid as I am of the dark, I’m terrified of the Light.

 

* * *

 **Chapter Three** **  
** **It Was**

* * *

 

It was raining.

Drops pattered against the window, singing with the low bass and steady thrum of voices. There wasn’t much to see outside but wavering streetlights, blurred in the night. Ken had turned to them to avoid her eyes, that cry for help, which he didn’t feel he had the place to give.

Despite his warnings, Davis was on a mission, and if there was one thing Ken had learned over the years, it was that when Davis was on a mission, there were no words of wisdom (or anything for that matter) that could stop him.

Their voices came hushed through the noise. Davis spoke in a sort of gentle restraint he only ever really had in those private moments. His self control was an interesting feat considering the way he hung forward, supporting himself against the wall just to stand.

Ken could barely hear Kari at all.

It was something she said, her voice just a soft squeak, that must have drove Davis to his normal decibel.

“You know what?” he said, teetering straight.  “You’re selfish.”

It came out hostile, cold and way too clear.

Ken turned in time to see the rain reflect in Kari’s eyes. She looked shocked and the pink creeping into her cheeks seemed to spur Davis on.

“You knew I still liked you,” he hissed. “We... And now you just want to pretend like it didn’t happen?”

“No, I just—”

“Wish you could take it back?”

“Davis, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Kissing you didn’t hurt.” Palms slid down his face, yanking the skin of his cheeks. “This does.” His body seemed to fold in half, as if literally wounded.

Ken was wondering if he should intercede when Kari uttered, “TK…”

“Don’t.” Davis groaned. “You just said he didn’t act like you were more than friends.”

He wobbled toward her, hand catching the wall on her side. “But I...  Kari, what if we were…?”

Another voice answered, “I wondered where you went.”

Ken whipped around to find TK behind him, a bag of chips clenched in one fist and a solo cup in the other. Water had spilled over the side and was dripping from his fingers like rain.

Davis took a step backwards, smearing a palm into his eye. “Ugh…”

“Sorry for interrupting,” TK said.

“You’re not,” gasped Kari. “We just—”

Davis’s hands slapped together and she flinched.

“Ran into each other,” he said. “First time she’s talked to me since, ya know…” Somehow his wringing hands looked explicit and he laughed so loud and hard that tears beaded at the corners of his eyes.

“Davis, stop.” Kari’s words fell somewhere between a scold and a plea, like an embarrassed mother corralling her tantruming child in the grocery store.

With a straight face, TK waved the bag of chips in surrender.  “It’s fine. I’ll go.”

Something about the way his voice went low put Ken on edge. He remembered all too well the calm before the storm. It always sat in the back of his mind: TK’s steady, quiet speech before his fist slammed into Ken’s face. Not that Ken hadn’t deserved it. He had struck first and the horrors he’d committed as the Digimon Emperor…

They never spoke of that fight since and when Davis had brought it up in front of them once (an ill-timed joke that earned him a pinch in the side and a hiss of “too soon” from Yolei), TK had brushed it off. But there was still something in TK’s eyes when he met Ken’s, a sharp spark, as if he was searching for the darkness inside.

TK started to walk away, drops of water sprinkling the floor behind him.

“Wait,” she pleaded to no avail. Kari had to squeeze past Davis to follow and he lost his balance, hitting his shoulder into the corner of a bookshelf.

“So this is why you kissed me?” Wincing, Davis rolled his arm and his voice came out far more malicious than his glossy eyes should have allowed. “Because Takaishi had commitment issues and left--”

Kari shot back a glare. “Davis.”

“...and I was still here, waitin like an idiot.”

“Davis, shut _up_.”

But he didn’t. His words chased TK through the crowd.  “Runs in the family, I guess.”

A storm of chips and water preceded TK pinning Davis to the wall.

Before Ken could get close, someone yelled, “FIGHT!” and a crowd swarmed around them, blocking his way. He could see flashes of the two as he struggled to get through: a wrestling match with a wayward fist, either too emotional or too drunk to be thrown with any skill.

Curses and grunts broke through the excited gossip surrounding them. Ken’s voice calling for Davis was as lost as Kari’s angry screams for them to stop. He shoved past someone taking a picture and stalled when a voice caught his attention.

“My chips!”

A flash of lilac hair appeared amidst the chaos. Yolei broke through the crowd at superhuman speed, crushing shards of potato beneath her heels.

“That is enough!”

Her bellow actually stopped Davis in his tracks. His head jerked sideways and Ken took the opportunity to force his way between them. TK stumbled to a stop. His chest fell up and down in heaves and the bright burn in his eyes fizzled as Kari joined them.

Yolei whipped on Davis, finger flying.

“What the hell are you doing?” she shouted. “You’re supposed to be our leader, you doofus. Stop hitting TK!”

“He was hitting me!” Davis cried.

From the looks of TK’s face, they had both managed to get a couple of good shots in. There was an angry red mark on TK’s brow that had begun to bleed and his cheekbone already seemed to be swelling.

“TK,” Kari whispered. Her fingertips brushed his wrist as he turned into the dispersing crowd, hiding his eyes.

She turned to Davis, who was trying to staunch the blood on his lip.  “I can’t believe you,” she snapped. “Why would you say that?”

Davis’s tongue retreated and his pout accentuated the gash in his mouth.

“You saw our dreams…” she hissed.

Ken felt a surge of memory hit him: Davis and the hundreds of versions of Veemon he’d brought to life, witnessing his moment of judgement in the sand. All of their dark desires.

“He—You knew, Davis.”

“Shit,” Davis moaned.

Kari shook her head, teeth rolling over her bottom lip. “Shit?” Her eyes blinked, frustrated tears pooling in the corners. “You’re a terrible friend.”

Davis seemed to waver, his body swaying over his firmly planted feet.

Kari’s fingers laced through her hair. “I have to go.” She slipped through the remainder of the crowd.

Yolei turned on Davis, lenses glaring under the dim light. “What did you say?”

Using the back of his hand to wipe his lip, Davis mumbled, “Think I sorta said somethin bout his parents.”

Yolei’s lenses cleared when she turned to Ken, eyes bright beneath thick black liner. She looked so different, an accentuated version of herself, older. Anger and alcohol flushed her cheeks and her lips were painted a fading crimson.

Ken averted his eyes.

She gave a loud sigh that Ken supposed was directed at him and said, “You were supposed to keep him from doing something stupid.”

“Not possible,” Davis said, voice reeking of self-pity. “He’d have to stop me from breathin.”

He started to sink to the ground right there, back dragging against the wall as he smeared his hand with red.

“Oh please,” Yolei said, “Ken’s too soft on you for that.”

Davis broke into a giggle that tore tears into his eyes.

Yolei turned to Ken to confirm, “You are.”

Ken wasn’t sure how to respond. He had never been afraid to tell Davis his opinion, but in the end, Ken was there to support him, even if he disagreed. He owed him that much.

When Davis continued to laugh, snorting and crying all at once, Yolei muttered, “Gosh, I wish I still felt that drunk.”

She grabbed his arm before he sunk completely to the floor and he dangled there, using whatever coordination he had left to keep from pulling her down.

“C’mon,” she said, “let’s get you cleaned up.”

“Meh.”

Frowning, she gave Davis a sharp pinch on the forearm and ignored his whine by turning back to Ken. “Could you check on TK for me? I’m worried about him.”

Davis gave a loud grunt as he stood.

Ken immediately deflected. “I can stay with Davis.”

Yolei gave him a shake of her finger.“Nuh-uh. Soft.” The finger stopped and gave Davis a poke, forcing him forward with an “ooowwwwah.”

“See? He needs a firm hand.” When Davis broke into another round of sobbing giggles, Yolei shooed Ken with the back of her hand. “I’ve got this.”

And so Ken went in search of TK, because, as much as he supported Davis, he couldn’t deny Yolei even more.

* * *

 

It was too loud.

Matt had never grown accustomed to noise. Not after years of electric bass drumming in his ears, or the explosive battles in the digital world, or even the sheer velocity of his best friend.

Eventually he had to escape. Whether it was to a slow acoustic jam, a lonely forest, or a dim stairway.

Only one other person had passed by since he had taken refuge there, filling the fluorescent lit concrete with smoke. So when the door opened, hurried footsteps and shaky breaths echoing behind him, he turned to look.

Tears were still slipping down Kari’s face when she stopped in her tracks, just steps above his back. Matt didn’t need to ask why.

Silently, he moved to the side. There was a pause before she finished her last steps, gasping back tears as she collapsed beside him.

Wiping her eyes on the neck of her shirt, she whispered, “Thanks.”

He gave a nod and began to put out the rest of his cigarette when she stopped him.

“It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

Matt placed it back between his lips. “I’d offer you one...but Tai.”

A short laugh erupted from her mouth, so quick and sudden Matt wasn’t sure if it was real or forced. Fresh tears emerged from her eyes.

They sat like that until he’d finished his cigarette and Kari had finished sniffling. Matt thought of his brother, of how he’d been lying around for weeks, not caring about all the things he should care about because of her. Then Matt thought of Tai and the promise he had failed years ago when he was supposed to watch out for her.

“Do you need a ride?” he  asked.

Her lashes fluttered upward, sticky with water, and Matt noticed her eyes. They were more chestnut than her brother’s dark brown, but just as commanding: like a dormant mountain, full of life, magnificent and waiting to erupt.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

Matt stood. “Come on.”

“Let me text Tai,” she said, pulling a phone from her purse.

Matt hadn’t brought his, so he leaned against the wall of the stairway, listening to the click of her keys and glaring at the dried gum beside his boots.

“Matt.”

He looked up, half expecting something unpleasant like an apology, or, even worse, an explanation.

After all these years they had never grown close. Their conversations were limited to their brothers, the two of them worrying. Either about Tai and his concerning obsession governing the tokomon village (He had actually coerced Sora into sewing him a pink hat with tokomon ears so he would be accepted as one of their own. Kari claimed he got overzealous when he felt out of control)  or about TK. Their mother had been stressed lately and TK had a bad habit of emulating her problems. Her all nighters became his, as if the the sound of her keyboard needed an echo in the early morning hours.

Together,  Matt and Kari could bring their brothers back to earth, although Kari usually seemed more at peace with the end result, the letting it go. But that was it: the extent of their relationship.

Even when she started dating TK, nothing changed. She smiled a lot and sometimes they talked about the digimon or Tai. Sometimes they didn’t talk at all.

Matt didn’t want that to change now. Thankfully, he found her still staring at her phone.

“It’s Izzy,” she said, reading a text. “Cody says he’s missing. They think he’s in Digiworld.”

They fell into step together without another word. Matt took two stairs at a time and Kari ran to keep up.

“The message came an hour ago. I didn’t notice,” she said, shame tearing at her face. “Tentomon saw Izzy disappear after his program malfunctioned. He can’t get through the digiport.”

“Great,” Matt muttered.

“Do you have a laptop?”

“I don’t even have my phone.”

“We have to find Tai.”

“I know.”

So there they were, together, greeted by the warm whoosh of sound as they opened the door to a party neither wanted to attend. Kari: the child of Light, his best friend’s little sister, his brother’s everything, and Matt: knowing exactly why he still barely knew her.

They stumbled onto Tai almost by accident, Sora laughing by his side.

Kari looked at Matt and saw through him. It was as if her light burst into his heart, brightening the darkest crevice to read everything he hid there.

Matt let her do the talking.

* * *

 

The world was spinning.

Or at least the marble sink was. Davis could swear the faucet was dancing between his hands. He looked up at his reflection and it wavered back and forth while Yolei pawed at his swollen lip.

“Stop goin s’fast,” he muttered to the world.

The washcloth slipped from his mouth and he caught sight of a churning Yolei in the mirror, heavy makeup blurred across her face.

“Does it hurt?” she asked when he turned to sit on the edge of the sink.

Davis lifted a hand to his head and his face flopped against his forearm. “Nah.”

For some reason, his response elicited a smack from the washcloth. Water splattered across his nose.

“Because you’re drunk,” Yolei said, clicking her tongue as she continued to clean the blood from his face.

“Thank God,” he muttered, closing his eyes when the washcloth passed across his cheek. His head grew heavy, resting there and he heard Yolei huff in annoyance. When she tried to continue, he grabbed her wrist, forcing the washcloth to stay still against his forehead, like a warm, wet pillow.

He leaned forward and she gave his shoulder a rough shove. “Davis...”

He rubbed his face against the washcloth. “Nnnn.”

“You need to think about other girls.”

His eyes popped open to find a spinning Yolei staring at him from behind her trippy glasses.  He let go of her wrist and gave his eyes a rub with the heel of his palm, drooping forward again. “Nu-uh.”

“No, you won’t?”

“Mmm.”

“Yes?”

He gave a nod.

“Is that a yes? Or a yes, you’re saying no?”

“Ugh.”

“Davis, I’m serious.” Yolei moved the washcloth away when Davis tried to rest his head on it again. He felt it smack his ear. “You can’t keep pining after Kari like this,” she said. “It’s not good for you.”

Groaning, Davis rubbed his head, trying to unflatten his hair. “ _Yer_ not good fur me.”

“I am, actually.”

Davis immediately broke into giggles.

“Shut up, you know what I mean.”

He unsuccessfully snorted back another round of laughter.

“I _mean_ —knock it off!—I mean I’m what you need to hear right now.” Yolei’s whole body straightened. She pressed her glasses onto her nose (Davis swore she did it to look smarter) and said, “You had your chance with Kari.”

The name cut into his laughter and stuck to his gut so sharply that his throat closed. He could feel it churn there, stinging.

“She wishes she could take it back,” Yolei said.

“Yeah… I know.” Giving his head a shake, Davis tried to clear the stinging from his throat and gave a gruff cough.

“I’m just telling you what Kari told me,” Yolei said, shrugging. Davis felt himself sink, his head weighted and heavy. She stared at him then, eyes extra honey beneath her black eyeliner. “You might be a doofus, but you deserve someone who isn’t going to think of you as a mistake.”

The hot stinging in his chest burned into a sarcastic, “Thanks.”

Yolei relented with a smile that made him realize she had meant it. “Fine.” The bathroom light swam behind her head, haloing her violet hair while she pressed the cloth against his lip, dabbing it. “I take back the doofus.”

It must have started bleeding again, because Davis tasted iron. He pushed his tongue out to test it and Yolei peeled back her hand.

“Stop,” she said. “You’re going to make it bleed again.”

“I thought it—” The words halted in his throat and a bitter burn rose in their stead. He swallowed. “It was alrea…” he gagged, bending forward.

“Are you—OW!”

Over the sound of his own misery, Davis could still make out Yolei cursing at him. She was probably milking her arm for all it was worth even though he’d only shoved her out of the way to avoid puking all over the front of her plunging neckline.

* * *

 

It was hot.

Anger flushed his cheeks, but the swelling of bodies probably had more to do with it. TK had to squeeze through the onlookers, comments following him as he went.

“Isn’t that Ishida’s brother?”

“I thought they were friends.”

“Is he bleeding?”

“I think his girlfriend made out with Motomiya.”

The kitchen was a stupid place to go. It was packed and more than one person asked about his face, but the freezer was there and the only thing that kept him from breaking down and searching for his brother to take him home was the thought of getting ice on the throbbing pain in his brow.

It was how he ended up sitting at the bar with the computer club, two packs of ice alternating on his face and a shot of vodka waiting by his hands. Coding strangely made more sense when someone drunk explained it to you.

When Ken found him there, all the attention TK had been receiving switched gears.

“Oh wow! Guys, guys, it’s Ken Ichijouji! Why’s he in Odaiba?”

Someone mentioned Motomiya and all eyes immediately flashed to TK.

TK wanted to say that Ken was friends with all of them, but “them” was never really understood by outsiders unless he mentioned the “monsters” which always seemed to create a strange atmosphere of nostalgia and hostility, as if the entire world both desperately wanted to remember and forget them.

“I know a few of the upperclassmen,” Ken said, gaining back their attention. His eyes turned to TK. “Yolei wanted me to check on you, but I see you’re in good hands.”

“That’s right! Yolei!” said one of the girls who had been pressing ice on TK’s forehead. It was now gracing the countertop. She leaned over to TK to explain in a not-so-quiet whisper, “She knows him.”

She grinned at Ken. “Yolei showed me your statistics program. It’s amazing! How did you come up with those algorithms?”

“Takeru Takaishi!”

The shout interrupted Ken’s response, blaring across the crowded room until Mimi appeared by their side like a flame enveloping the room.

“What is this I hear about you fighting?” she demanded.

TK grabbed his untouched shot of vodka.

“Nope.” Mimi stopped him, forcing it down with slender and surprisingly strong fingers. “Duty calls. Izzy’s missing.”

“When isn’t he?” groaned one of the computer club members.

“What?” asked TK.

Joe managed to move between them from out of nowhere, staring at his phone. “Have you seen Tai?”

Both TK and Ken shook their heads and Joe finally tore his eyes away from his phone. His worried brow flipped even more inward when he caught sight of TK’s face. Pocketing his phone, he swung a bag from behind his back and pulled out a hoard of alcohol wipes.

“What happened to you?” he asked, already working at a cut on TK’s brow.

“Oh Joe.” Mimi sounded amused. “You still carry around a med-kit?”

“Obviously it’s still needed,” Joe said, looking very father-like as he frowned at TK. “Did you fall down the stairs?”

“Joe,” Mimi said again, amazed. “Are you telling me you didn’t hear everyone talking?”

“I was texting Cody. What happened?”

TK felt himself shrink away from Joe’s touch, ashamed. “I’m fine.”

“He was fighting with Davis,” tsked Mimi.

“Oh.” There was a slight twitch by the corner of Joe’s mouth, as if he had to stop himself from reacting. “You should really put some ice on that.”

TK picked up the abandoned ice baggie and put it on his head like he was told. He could feel the blood rush to his cheeks no matter how hard he tried to stop it, embarrassed for everything: for losing his cool, for acting like a victim, for Kari.

“You said something about Izzy,” Ken said. TK had never felt more appreciative of him than in that moment. “What do you mean missing?”

“Tentomon said something took him to Digiworld,” whispered Mimi.

The computer club suddenly became very interested in their conversation when Ken murmured, “Does this have something to do with his program?”

“That’s all he works on anymore,” said the girl beside TK. “He stopped leading the computer club. Yolei’s acting president now and she’s not even an upperclassman.”

“She never mentioned that,” said Ken. TK hadn’t heard of it either.

“Izzy said not to tell anyone outside of the club unless he officially resigned.” The girl paused. “Is he okay?”

“He’s not going to be once I get ahold of him,” said Mimi, rubbing a fist into her palm. “What has he gotten himself into?”

“We were just there,” Joe said, looking at his watch. “Tai and I. Not even three hours ago. Izzy said he was on the verge of a breakthrough.” He looked to Ken.  “What do you know about the program?”

Ken seemed caught off guard, suddenly aware that he had information the rest of them didn’t. It was certainly the first time TK had heard about a new program and by the look on Mimi’s face it was news to her too.

“I helped him with the initial coding, but after that I couldn’t keep up,” Ken admitted. “It’s amazingly complex.”

“But what does it do?” asked Mimi.

“Well, what he _hoped_ it would do,” said Ken, lowering his voice as every computer club member leaned in, “is use images gathered from the prefrontal cortex to create physical matter.”

“The prefrontal cortex?” said Joe. “The part of the brain that stores memories? He made it sound like he could just dream up something and make it happen.”

Something clicked, a sharp stab that made TK suck in a breath of air before he spoke. “Like the world Oikawa brought us to?”

Ken gave a solemn nod. “Exactly. Izzy thought the data he had gathered there could be used in a constructive manner. The program started with memories because they were more accurate than dreams. I’m not sure how far he got.”

“That’s crazy,” muttered Mimi.

TK took his shot, barely flinching when the vodka burned his throat. Only Ken noticed.

“Something bad happened to him,” Joe said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. His glasses bounced over his knuckles. “That’s the only explanation. Do you know how many people would want to get their hands on something like that?”

“Or digimon,” TK said. The liquor was already washing over him, dragging him down. He pulled out his D-3, unconcerned with the onlookers. “I need Patamon.”

It was a new voice that responded, “He’s coming.”

The four digidestined turned around to find Cody hammering out lines on his D-terminal. Frazzled hair reached from his forehead, like he had just spent a long time running. And despite the heavy jiggle of what was obviously a digimon in his backpack, he looked up at them, his young face grave.

“So are the others,” he added. “The ones on duty in Digiworld are already searching. Where is everyone?”

“Scattered,” said TK.

Upon hearing the low heat rising in TK’s voice, Cody’s brow furrowed, but that just as well could have been a reaction to the state of his battered face. Cody didn’t say anything, however. Just got down to business.

“Where’s Davis?”

TK didn’t answer and Ken hesitated long enough that Cody switched gears.

“Tai?”

“Probably wherever Sora went to,” said Mimi.

Cody responded by typing another line into his D-terminal. “Kari’s with him,” he said. “I have a laptop. Let’s see if there’s a room we can meet in.”

They followed Mimi through the throbbing crowd in search of the others and Cody flanked TK’s side.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

TK gave a nod with a smile even though it wasn’t fooling anybody.

* * *

 

The party was over.

It had stopped the second Matt had came bounding by Kari’s side, blue eyes immediately flickering away when he saw her. If that was how things were going to be...

Sora could deal.

What she couldn’t deal with was the diligent silence. It stayed steady as Tai began to pace back and forth while Kari explained what little she could. And when Tai started cursing at Izzy, Matt did absolutely nothing to calm him down. All it usually took was a word, a harsh coax, and Tai would jump on the right track. With the silence, he started losing control.

“Why didn’t he just come? I could’ve looked out for him. I knew something was wrong. He hasn’t been right since… I should’ve—”

Sora couldn’t stand it. “Tai. We need to find the others.”

He tugged at the front of his hair until it stood up with the rest of it. “Right.”

Sora turned to Matt, eyes burning. For a second, he saw her. Then Yolei came tumbling between them.

“Ew, ew, ew, ew… ohhh…” Yolei’s voice trailed off as she caught sight of Kari. For a second, she stood there, chewing on her bottom lip, gaze darting back and forth between Sora and Tai as if she expected them to read her mind.

“Everything okay?” Sora asked.

“It’s Davis,” Yolei gushed, looking relieved and nauseated all at once. “He’s um,” she looked to Kari again, “um, uh…”

“Had too much to drink?” asked Tai. He gave Matt a nudge in the ribs. “Slamming those things back worse than you before a _Wolves’_ concert.”

Matt glared, but the silence continued.

Yolei’s pointer finger flung in the air in affirmation. “I could deal, but um, seeing him sick is making me sick.” She did look a little off. “I think I’m still drunk.”

“I’ll help him,” said Sora. “Matt, can you fill Yolei in?”

He met her eyes then and Sora suddenly wished she hadn’t called him out. His gaze was so cold it hurt. She didn’t wait for him to break the silence and luckily Yolei was already filling it in, shouting directions to Davis behind her.

The hallway widened into a great room and Sora found a line of teens waiting outside a closed door. Without apology, she cut to the front and was about to knock when she heard her name.

Mimi appeared out of nowhere, clinging to her arm. “Izzy’s missing!”

“I know,” said Sora. “Kari told us.”

“Where’s Tai?” asked Joe.

Sora pointed down the hall. “I’m going to see if I can get Davis,” she said, noticing TK’s head hang the moment she mentioned the name. Maroon blotches surrounded a bandage on his brow and Sora had to use all her self-control not to mention it. “We’ll be there soon.”

“I’ll help,” said Ken.

“Of course. You guys go ahead.” Sora gave him a grateful smile. A glare for TK even though she was sure he was only part to blame.

He sunk under her gaze and followed the others.

“They were fighting, huh?” Sora asked Ken.

“I think it had to do with a lot more than Kari,” Ken said, looking after TK’s retreating back. He gave a gentle rap on the door. “Davis?”

A low _unghhh_ came muffled through the wood. There was the sound of a flushing toilet and a loud thud before the door clicked.

They found Davis on the floor, arm still draped over the toilet bowl.

“Oh, honey,” Sora cooed, squatting beside him. Wordlessly, Ken joined her and together they hoisted him off the ground.

“Jus leave me,” Davis moaned, head flopping between them.

Ignoring him, they pushed past the line and the hushed comments that followed.

Davis wept like a scolded child. “Stop yellin at me.”

“You took those shots when I wasn’t looking, didn’t you?” asked Ken.

With a shake of his head, Davis’s mouth betrayed him. “Yes.” He looked up at Sora with droopy lids. “Ken hates me.”

“You know that’s not true,” said Ken.

The arm draped over Ken’s shoulder tightened in an embrace and Ken got a face full of breath.

“Love you, maaannn,” Davis sang, stumbling and dragging Ken’s neck at an awkward angle.

“Watch your feet,” said Sora.

Ken looked at her over Davis’s hunched back. “I should get him home. He’s not going to be any help like this.”

Davis let out a dry sob. “I’m soooo ground-dead.”

“Why don’t we let him sober up a bit first?” Sora stopped and they leaned against the wall for a moment so she could send Tai a text.

**Where are you?**

An answer came back almost immediately: **bedroom end of hall**

And then, **had 2 threaten sum couple with a 3some 2 get them 2 leave**.

With an involuntary eye roll, Sora relayed the information to Ken. They half pushed/pulled Davis to the room and with a knock, she found herself falling into old habits.

“Digi Digi.”

It was Mimi who answered, “Mon mon,” and opened the door. She looked near tears. “It’s not the same without Izzy.”

The room was filled with the digidestined, half of them some degree of drunk, beat up, or avoiding her gaze. Sora dragged her eyes away from Matt’s back to give Mimi her best motherly smile.

“I know.”

Mimi immediately bopped Davis’s head with an empty plastic cup, frowning. “Bad.”

He made a noise between a whimper and a moan which fizzled out the moment he saw Kari. She and Tai were standing over Cody’s laptop and her eyes had gone wide at the sight of him.  With a sudden bout of coordination, Davis swung around Ken’s back.

“Hide me,” he begged.

Sora gave his arm a gentle tug and Ken had to do a weird sideways shuffle in order to deposit Davis on the bed. He splayed backwards and immediately shot back up, head hanging between his knees.

Sora sat beside him, rubbing his back and moving her feet when he spit on the ground. She could see TK from the corner of her eye, staring at the wall.

Inching over to make room, Yolei said, “Ew, please don’t puke again.”

“Enough,” snapped Tai and suddenly all attention was on him. All the panic had subsided and his commanding presence seemed to dictate the room. “I don’t want to hear anything that isn’t about Izzy and how we’re getting him home.”

“Here here!” called Motimon, who was situated in Cody’s lap. Upamon bounced anxiously by his feet.

“Motimon, can you explain what happened?” asked Sora.

“I didn’t see much,” his nasally voice answered. “I had fallen asleep, and when I woke up, Izzy was just gone.  And his computer....there was this energy, like a digiport, but different. I just knew Izzy had gone inside, but when I tried to follow, it shut down. His computer doesn’t even work anymore.” His little pink hands wrung together.  “It’s like everything in it disappeared.”

“We’re getting a signal from Izzy’s digivice in this area,” said Cody, pointing to a dot on the map of the digital world. “It’s in an uninhabited zone not far from Gabumon’s area, so he’s already on his way to check it out. Palmon should be there shortly as well.” His finger moved across the screen. “The closest digiport isn’t for miles. The rest of the digimon will be waiting for us there. We haven’t been able to get ahold of Gennai yet.”

“No surprise there,” Joe muttered.

“Thanks Cody,” Tai said, pulling out his digivice. “Let’s get going.”

“That’s it?” Matt interjected. It was the first time Sora had heard him speak since she’d seen him and it struck her so sharply that she couldn’t take her eyes away.

“For now,” Tai answered. “I’m not wasting any time. The quicker we act, the better. Once we’re with our digimon we can figure out a better game plan.”

Digging through a bag and pulling out a bottle of water, Joe said, “We’re going to need supplies.” He passed it to Yolei, gesturing to Davis. She put it in front of his face, but he shoved her hand away with a groan.

“And to inform our families,” added Ken.

“We split up then,” said Tai, already lifting his digivice. “I’ll scout the area and we can rendezvous at the digiport in three hours.”

Cody lifted his D-3. “I’ll come with you.”

“I’ll go,” said TK. Matt must have already been fussing over him, because he avoided looking in his direction.

Matt gave Tai a nod and Sora suddenly felt like everything was going too fast. They needed time, so much more time.

“Wait a minute,” she said.

They turned to her and the ground shifted beneath her feet.

The world became pixels. A tunnel of code exploded around her. They were spinning: weightless bodies between worlds, jolted by the familiar vertigo of being downloaded.

Until it stopped. Sora felt sick. It was as if something had grabbed her by the heart and yanked it out of her chest. It pounded outside her body, thrumming in her ears, ready to burst—

Then there was silence. For a moment she could feel nothing. Not her heartbeat or the chest it should have beat in. Her entire body, it’s aches and pains: gone. Nothing but her thoughts, hanging in space.

Darkness came and it was only then that Sora realized the digiport had never been opened.


	4. The Curtain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why is it taking so long to get out a rewrite? I don't know! Life. Sorry for the delay. I swear this will not take as many years to rewrite as it did to write it.

**Innocent Games**

_I go to the place of no return,_

_To the land of darkness and the shadow of death_

**Job 10:21**

* * *

 

I wonder why, after all this time, I still feel most comfortable in the dark.

I hate it: everything it stands for, everything it's done to me. The way you can hide in it so easily.

But stepping into the light hurts.

Sometimes change is like staring at an eclipse. The light peeks around the past so brightly you can only bare to look at it through the right lens. And if you don’t, it can blind you.

Scars scatter across my retinas. Wormmon tells me I should move on, that the past is forgiven. But it’s in the little things, the ripples cast by my mistakes, that I catch myself looking back and getting blasted by the sun.

There is nothing but darkness here. And, for just a moment, I don’t hate it.

It gives my eyes a chance to heal.

* * *

 **Chapter Four** **  
** **The Curtain**

When it stopped, Yolei felt nothing.

The pulsing drum of her heart, the reeling bile creeping up her throat, even her panicked gasps had disappeared. Every pain was gone: her headache, the low aching cramps in her belly (why did her period always start on the weekend?? _Always_. Curse being regular), that knot in her shoulder that never quite disappeared, the twinge in her hand from the nearly two hours of gaming at the arcade that afternoon.

Was it only that afternoon? Life felt like an eternity ago.

She must be dead. That was it. She was dead. She would have cried if it weren’t for a lack of eyes. She was too young to die! She had ambitions! She was going to go to school for computer science, she was going to visit Hawkmon next weekend. She didn’t want to die a virgin!

If this was death, it sucked. Because somehow feeling nothing let her feel _everything_.

Emotions had always hit Yolei hard, stampeding through her gut until they erupted from her mouth in irrevocable verbal vomit. But she was made of them now - a being without a body and still in so much pain. Her life lied before her in pieces, memories flashing in a whirlwind of color, lashing her with debris.

_“Mom cried when she found out she was pregnant with you.”_

_“We all have to work. Stop being so selfish.”_

_“You hurt Hawkmon.”_

_“I don’t have time for this right now, Yolei. Go play somewhere else.”_

_“That’s the difference between you and Kari. She cares about other people.”_

_“We have too many kids.”_

Every memory was one she had agonized over, conversations with Hawkmon that kept her awake at night. He always had something nice to say, even in the face of truth, something to keep her from the edge of anxiety, to ground her.

The afterlife didn’t seem to have a ground.

Then her body reclaimed her.

Gravity pulled her inside out, wrenching her soul through her eyes. The aches returned, feeling shot through her limbs and the difference of nothing and everything brought her to her knees.

Her head spun and the sound of someone retching brought the bile back to the edge of her throat. Voices crept into being as her fingers slipped against tepid earth. A dry sob pushed through her lips.

Tai’s voice brought her back to life.  “Is everyone okay?”

The others answered, one by one.

Yolei opened her eyes. Tai stood in the dark, just a silhouette in miles of nothing. His hair, again, was the only thing that allowed her to recognize him. A dim sourceless light cast everyone in shades of gray, their bodies only featureless shadows. Yolei felt trapped and a desire to push down the walls of whatever room they were being kept in made her bolt to her feet.

“Kari, that you?” Tai asked her.

“I’m over here,” Kari answered.

Their voices went on, emptied to the void. There was no echo, it just traveled, lost in unending distance. Yolei panicked. Where were they? Was there nothing but earth beneath her feet? Was it even earth?

Joe’s voice came back shaken. “What was that?”

Then Matt. “Who opened the digiport?”

There was a loud dry heave.

Mimi. “Oh, Davis…”

“Leave me t’ die.”

The normalcy of their voices dragged tears from her eyes. Yolei tried to stifle her sobs with the back of her hand, but they grappled their way to the surface in a bout of hysterical laughter.

“Yolei?”

“Cody!” she gasped, slinging herself across him with all her weight. Her glasses hit his shoulder and bounced to the ground.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

The fabric of his shirt rubbed her nose when she shook her head. She could feel him tense under her tight embrace.

“I want to go home,” she whispered.

His head jerked sideways as if her words had smacked him. “Upamon...”  Cody wrenched himself from her grasp and Yolei instantly hugged her arms around herself while he continued to search.

“Upamon!”

“Motimon’s gone too,” said TK. Yolei could see his hunched shoulders in the distance.

Cody struggled to check his backpack and with one step, there was a loud crunch.

Yolei’s heart sank. “My glasses!” She fell to the ground in search of them, hands scraping the darkness.

“Careful,” said Ken. “Davis was sick.” His words seemed to bring on the smell of acid and regurgitated yeast.

“Oh, ew!” Yolei popped back to her feet. “Gross.”

A weak mumble from the ground. “Yer gross.”

“Here.” Ken pressed Yolei’s glasses into her hands and the dim light reflected along a web of cracks.

Cody stopped searching his bag when she let out another strangled sob. “I’m sorry, Yolei. I didn’t realize you’d lost them.”

When she put them back on, the frames slipped away from her ear and bent sharply to one side. She could see pieces of Ken’s face crossing each other like human shards. She pressed her fingertips beneath the lenses and jammed them into her damp lids.

“It’s okay,” she breathed until she couldn’t. “It’s, it’s okay.”

Tai’s voice shot, once again, through her panic. “We need to get moving.”

“We don’t even know where we are,” said Matt. “Give us a second to recover.”

“Izzy might not have a second.”

Dread sank around them. Yolei thought of the last time she had seen Izzy, the haggard expression on his face, the way he had just given away his position in the computer club even though she didn’t deserve it. She should have told someone then what he was doing. That program, that dread had touched on her at that moment, when he said nothing else was important anymore.

But she had been too selfish - too excited for the opportunity and too curious to see Izzy’s work completed. It was an incredible accomplishment - what were a few sleepless nights when he could save their entire world _again_? She just wished he had asked her to help.

“I don’t think we’re all in a position to get moving, Tai,” Sora said gently.

On cue, there was another loud gag.

“Joe, can you come here?” Mimi asked.

He seemed to emerge from nothing, bag bouncing on his hip. “Oh… oh great. I just stepped in vomit.”

“Ewwww,” said Mimi. “Wipe off your shoe!”

But Joe was already digging in his bag. “Is he still responsive?”

“No,” groaned Davis.

“Well, at least it’s not alcohol poisoning,” Joe said dryly. “But you’re probably dehydrated. Here.”

There was a long sharp whine, like someone had pinched a dog’s ear. Yolei felt it radiate through her entire body and her tears seemed to evaporate from sheer annoyance.

Squinting to navigate around the vomit puddle, she grabbed the bottle from where it sat waiting in Joe’s hand, twisted the top off with a loud snap, and forced it under Davis’s chin. “Drink or else!”

Davis’s fingertips reached forward and just when Yolei thought he was going to take it, he shoved it, nearly knocking it from her grasp. Water splashed across her shirt. “Davis!”

“Go ‘way.”

“You stubborn...” Yolei sank to the ground and he came into focus in a dozen broken pieces. He really did look miserable. His face had fallen into his open palms and his shoulder blades shivered under his collared shirt.

“I swear, if you don’t get better so we can get out of here—”

“Gonna barf it up,” he rasped.

“Small sips,” said Joe.

Yolei offered the water again, gently nudging his hand. With another terrible moan, Davis took it. Water dribbled down his chin. Yolei was convinced the majority of it had missed his mouth. He handed the bottle back to her, gagging.

She cringed. “Please don’t puke.”

“Never drinkin again.”

“That’s what you said last time,” Ken said in his mother-hen voice. He only ever used it with Davis, but it was how Yolei thought he might speak to _their_ kids someday. It was a dream she still nursed in the back of her mind, even though they’d been friends for years and neither had made a move. She imagined it in clarity - the way they’d confess, that perfect sweet moment, maybe once they were done with high school and going to the same college, somewhere romantic.

It was when Ken said something, his voice low and determined, that she was torn from her escape.

The world was still black.

Sora asked, “Are you sure?”

_Sure, what?_

“Davis is in good hands,” Ken answered. He looked at Yolei for a moment and then Mimi and Joe before turning back to whatever conversation Yolei had missed.

“If we don’t find anything, we’ll turn back,” said Tai.

“Wait. What?” Yolei asked. “What’s going on?”

“We’re splitting up,” said Cody.

“What?” A fierce claw wrenched into her heart. “Ken?”

“I need to help them look for Izzy.” Ken pulled his D-terminal from his slacks and powered it on. Then, giving a nod to Davis, who seemed to have folded further in half, he said, “Let me know how he’s doing.”

And there she was, being volun _told_. By Ken no less. “But—”

“Don’t go more than five miles,” Cody said before Yolei could finish. “Make sure you turn back before the digivices are out of range or we might not be able to find each other again.”

“Roger,” said Tai.

Yolei muttered, “This is stupid.”

“We’ll be right back,” Sora called over her shoulder. “Don’t worry.” And because she was Sora, Yolei actually worried a tiny bit less.

At least until she was gone.

 

* * *

  

The darkness enveloped the others too quickly.

Tai could feel it creep in around them even though nothing had changed but their absence. The same sourceless light hung over the bare earth and there was nothing else to see. No life, no plants, no structures, just their feet disappearing into the dark.

His digivice flashed in his hand, little red lights blinking in two groups, one moving slowly away. Tai ran his fingertips along the side of it, carressing buttons bound in smooth cool metal. How long had it been since he had held it like he needed it?

“Did I just make a bad call?” he asked Kari. She flanked his side, still and quiet, and he hoped that asking for her opinion might bring her back to life. She looked up at him, eyes blank, and tried to force a smile. Her lips barely went flat.

“I think you’re doing the best you can right now,” she said.

Tai slung his arm around her shoulders and tugged her to his side.

“It’s a good call,” she affirmed in a way that made him sure she wanted to avoid his wandering into a new subject. “If we move, we might catch Izzy’s signal.”

Nodding, Tai released her, but not before the mandatory big brother hair ruffle.

“He’s here.”

It was almost as if Tai could feel his presence. The tired, determined aura that seeped around Izzy in dark waves when he obsessed or (if you wanted to get closer to the truth) escaped. If you gave Izzy a problem, he wouldn’t let it go until it was solved, but if he had a problem, well, then it never stopped.

“I should’ve dragged him to that stupid party,” Tai muttered.

“Then he’d definitely be here,” said TK.

Tai’s dry chuckle helped to cover the way Kari went stiff at his voice.

“Better together,” he said.

“Says he who decides we should split up,” said Matt.

“Ah, was wondering how far into this new adventure you’d start the naysaying.” Tai rubbed a fist over his chest and made a show of observing his knuckles. “Shooting for a new record?”

“Would hate to disappoint.”

Tai’s laughter slid into the darkness, wandering far into nothing - like it would never come back.

“I don’t think we’re in Digiworld,” Ken said. His voice came low and strained. Tai wondered if it was because he had left half of his team behind or if it was because of the way every part of himself he hated had come to the surface when they had left their bodies in the portal.

At least that’s how it felt to Tai. A whirlwind of regret and loathing piling on him without distraction. If all his memories, his cowardice and jealousy, had rehashed in those moments, he couldn’t even begin to imagine how terrible it had been for Ken.

Sora stood beside him and when her eyes found Tai’s, he made sure to look through her, as if he had been listening to Ken all along.

“There was something there,” Ken was saying. “Something used the digiport to transfer us somewhere else. I think…” His fingertips slid beneath his hair, pressing his temple.

“Are you okay?” Sora asked even though her eyes were still touching the corner of Tai’s gaze.

Ken gave a nod. “I think we’re in Izzy’s program.”

“In it?” Tai asked. He glanced at Matt, memories of their venture into the internet parading to the forefront of his mind.

Matt frowned.

“More accurately,” Ken continued, “I think we’re in the world it created.”

“I was sorta banking on this being a really long, dark room,” Tai said, “preferably with an exit.”

“Motimon said everything was gone from Izzy’s computer,” said TK, earning another nod from Ken.

“Someone is trying to build a new world.”

“Knew that program sounded to good to be true.” Tai glared at the darkness around them. “Unlimited resources, ha!” He kicked the ground. “Is this even dirt?”

“Last I spoke with Izzy, the program was still far from finished,” Ken said. “This may be all it’s capable of.”

“How do we get out of it?” asked Sora.

The silence that answered made Tai finally dare to meet her eyes head on. It was only then that he could see the pain that had surged beneath her smile at the party - the mask she wore even though he had told her she didn’t have to. He wished he knew why her own decision hurt her so much.

Cold blue broke their line of vision. Matt’s stare had always been tangible. It could fill a room like high tide, slowly seeping in until you were in over your head.

Ken broke the silence. “I don’t know.”

Tai took a deep breath and still felt like he was drowning.

“Maybe that way.”

They all turned to where TK was pointing.

He had found the light. 

 

* * *

 

“What is that?”

Joe turned at the sound of Cody’s voice. There was a sharp tug on his head when he tried to turn, his hair caught under Mimi’s palm. “Ow.”

“I miss it long,” she murmured, working her slender fingers through the strands. “I wanted to braid it.”

Heat rose through Joe’s cheeks. “What’s what?” he squeaked, pulling himself free of her grasp. He saw it the moment he tore his eyes away from her: a light - shining like a beacon in the distance.

“Here,” he said to Yolei, handing over a power bar he had pulled from his bag. “See if he can stomach this.”

Yolei took it reluctantly, shoving it into the ball that was Davis. It disappeared through the crack between his arm and lap.

A terrible grotesque noise came from the ball, sounding something like, “I hate food.”

Yolei’s wrist wiggled. “Just eat it.”

Rolling sideways, Davis uncurled himself and face-planted into her thigh, letting a muffled “nooooo” sink into her skin.

“Get. Off.”

Joe joined Cody before he felt the need to break them apart. The light shimmered a welcome.

“We better tell Tai,” Joe said.

Cody immediately set to sending a message on his D-terminal.

“Do you think it’s a way out?” The words hit Joe’s neck as Mimi tiptoed to look over his shoulder.

He froze.

“Tai said they see it too…” Cody checked his D-3. “But they’re moving in the wrong direction.”

Joe’s voice struggled out of his throat. “What do you mean wrong?”

“They said they were going to check it out, but they’re moving away from it.”

Sure enough, the dots of Tai’s group seemed to be going the opposite direction of theirs. They took a few steps forward and the signals moved further apart. Joe looked ahead. The sliver of light still peeked through the darkness, like a crack in a door.

“Maybe there’s two of them,” said Mimi.

Cody nodded. “We should check it out.”

“What?!” Yolei’s shriek pulled their attention away from the light. Davis had clung onto her leg when she tried to shake him off and half his back had worked it’s way under her ribs. His grip seemed surprisingly tight for someone who had passed out.

“You should probably let him sleep it off,” said Joe.

Yolei tried to squirm from underneath him, but Davis only tightened his grip. “You are _not_ leaving me here like this.”

“Aw, but you guys look so cute,” said Mimi.

This time, Yolei froze. “You did not just say that.”

“We’ll just go as far as we can to make sure there isn’t a mix up in the signals,” Cody said. “It’ll take less than five minutes.”

Yolei’s face looked like it might crack her other lens. Violet hair spun like a whip when she turned to face Mimi in a final plea. Joe watched as Mimi unmistakably pointed at him, but he couldn’t quite make out the silent words that formed on her lips.

Yolei seemed to sink with understanding. “Fine,” she sighed. “Cody?”

“I already have the light targeted on my D-3.”

An angry pink flushed Yolei’s cheeks, but Joe didn’t dare volunteer to stay. He wasn’t sure Mimi would have allowed it anyway.

“Five minutes,” Yolei demanded. “Two and half and you turn around and book it back.”

“I’ll send you a message in five,” said Cody.

“You—” Unspoken words crowded Yolei’s mouth until her cheeks looked like they couldn’t hold anymore. Two hissed through her teeth. “You better.”

After exactly five minutes of walking, the light hadn’t changed. Still just a sliver, still without answers. Mimi’s hand had slipped from her side to Joe’s bag. “It’s dark,” she had explained, pulling herself closer. Her hand slid along the strap finding a place to rest. Fingertips grazed his knuckles. Joe’s hand instinctively jerked upwards. He adjusted his glasses, even though they were fine.

Mimi chewed on her lip. “Did Izzy seem bad when you saw him?”

Clearing his throat, Joe answered, “A little. Borderline manic. You know how he gets.”

Still clinging to his bag, Mimi gave him a nudge, her dainty shoulder pressing his ribs. “Did you make him drink water?”

Joe gave a silent nod.

“Thanks for taking care of him.” Her head hung and the sourceless light cast its heavy shadow beneath her draping hair. “I should be home.”

Even with a hint of light, the darkness seemed never ending. He wondered for a moment if they’d all been affected by it the same.

“I shouldn’t have even been at the party…” he groaned. “Finals are next month.”

“I mean with you,” Mimi said. Her hair still hung over her face and Joe was glad it was dark enough that she couldn’t see the blood rush to his cheeks. “In Japan. You all clearly need me back.”

He finally saw her lips, curving into a smile as she lifted her gaze. Memories resurfaced in its wake, with all their dread and self-doubt, the image of his father’s frown. Joe suddenly felt like they shouldn’t be there, trailing behind Cody together. He rubbed his mouth, trying to find words.

“You don’t want me back?” she asked.

“No, that’s not…” A long sigh. “Of course we do.”

A loud beep cut through their conversation, followed by a series of unpleasant chirps. Cody stopped and opened his D-terminal.  

“What is it?” Joe asked, relieved for the interruption.

Cody frowned.

“It’s Yolei.”

Mimi let go of Joe’s bag and tiptoed to read over Cody’s shoulder. “She says she hates us all.”

“Should we turn back?” asked Joe.

“She’s just being overdramatic,” Cody said, although his mouth seemed to drag further down in the corners. He keyed in a couple of lines.

Joe looked at the light. “It’s been more than five minutes.”

The three stood shoulder to shoulder, watching.

When it burst towards them, blinding and bright, Joe felt Mimi grab his hand. He squeezed back.

 

* * *

 

“They disappeared.”

“What?”

Ken stared at the screen of his D-3 in disbelief. Where three blinking lights had been, there was only darkness. He pulled out his D-terminal and immediately sent a message to Yolei.

“How are they just gone?” Tai asked, staring at his own digivice.

Sora asked, “Who else was with Cody?”

“Maybe they went out of range,” TK said.

The speculations continued when a message returned on Ken’s D-terminal.

__________________________ 

 **FROM: Yolei Inoue**  
**TO: Ken Ichijouji** **  
** **SUBJECT: RE: Where are you?**

 **I haven’t moved since you left us. Davis passed out. Can you choke on your own snores? If so, I’m concerned. Also, Mimi and Joe went with Cody, so I’m kind of alone here. It’s dark and weird and I’m pissed. What’s going on?  
** **__________________________**

 **FROM: Ken Ichijouji  
** **TO: Yolei Inoue** **  
** **SUBJECT: RE: RE: Where are you?**

 **I think he’ll be OK.  Can you check your D-3?  We’re not seeing their signals.  
__________________________   
  
** Ken stared at the light, it’s sliver now ominous in the darkness. Had the one they had been headed towards look the same? He thought of Yolei and wrote another quick line.

**__________________________**

**FROM: Ken Ichijouji** **  
** **TO: Yolei Inoue** **  
** **SUBJECT: RE: RE: Where are you?**

**Don’t panic.  
__________________________ **

**FROM: Yolei Inoue  
****TO: Ken Ichijouji** **  
** **SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: Where are you?**

 **I’m panicking! Where the hell did they go?  
** **_________________________**

Ken’s D-terminal became a blur of messages. Every time he started to respond, another came in, more desperate than the next. He erased his words when he realized “calm down” was not going to cut it.

“They aren’t responding,” TK said, looking up from his own D-terminal. “Did you get anything?”

Ken shook his head. “Just from Yolei.”

Tai ran his hands into his hair and dragged them down his face. “Shit.”

“We have to go back,” said Matt.

“I know!” Tai spat.

Kari touched his back. “Tai.”

Ken returned to his D-3 to let Yolei know. Her last message wrenched into his chest.

**__________________________**

**FROM: Yolei Inoue** **  
** **TO: Ken Ichijouji** **  
** **SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: Where are you?**

 **Please come back for us. I’m scared.**    
**__________________________**

 **FROM: Ken Ichijouji** **  
** **TO: Yolei Inoue** **  
** **SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: RE: Where are you?**

 **I’m coming. You’re going to be okay.  
** **_________** **_________________**

The light swallowed them before he got a response.

 

* * *

 

It was the same as someone turning a switch.

Whatever strange sourceless light that had allowed her to see in the nothing had vanished. The black that surrounded them was so thick it felt solid. Yolei felt trapped.

The backlit screen of her D-terminal was the only thing to combat it. Her hand dropped and it silhouetted Davis’s face, illuminating the line of drool on the corner of his mouth that had begun to pool through her skirt.

Yolei said a mental, _ew_ , too afraid to speak, and used the sleeve of her sweater to wipe it away. She rubbed it into the back of his shirt in retaliation.

“Davis,” she hissed. “Wake up.”

When he didn’t budge, she hammered him in the back.

“Nnnnnn.” His shoulder blades hunched as his face buried further into Yolei’s thigh. The light of her D-terminal cast shadows under his clenched brows.

His lack of any real response had her shaking him by the shoulders. Davis batted her away and finally slunk from her lap, landing on the ground with a low thump. After a second of silence, he continued to snore.

Heat burned behind Yolei’s eyes. “GET UP!” She shoved a heel into his ribs. “GET UP! GET UP! GET UP!”

Davis only let out a long low whine.

Yolei’s own empty voice was lost in the void. When she looked up, desperate for the sign of the others, she found a sliver of light. It stood, like a strange break in a curtain of black, just waiting to open.

“It’s on the wrong side,” she whispered to herself, batting the tears that were running from beneath her lenses.

She sent a message to Ken and held her breath.

The D-terminal beeped.

**__________________________**

**FROM: Mail Delivery System  
****TO: Yolei Inoue** **  
** **SUBJECT: Undeliverable mail returned to sender**

**Your mail could not reach the intended recipient(s):**

**Ken.Ichijouji@digidestined.server** **  
** **Sent: 04/10/2006 2:16AM** **  
** **  
** **SUBJECT: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Where are you?**


	5. Caught in the rain

**Innocent Games**

There are probably three things I’ll admit to being scared of, if you ask.

  1. Freaky ass spiders. Too many legs. They’re furry. Their webs waiting for me right across the front door. Arukenimon ruined them for me. I swear I used to have a daddy-long-leg as a pet until Jun squashed him. I still haven’t forgiven her even though now they give me the creeps. 

Oddly Arukenimon didn’t bother me when she was handing us our asses, but everytime I see one of her brethren crawling at me, I imagine it’s her, coming back from whatever Digital Hell she’s been suffering in to crawl into my ear and lay babies.

  2.  Not knowing. I really don’t like not knowing things. It freaks me out. And here, in this place, I don’t know shit.
  3. Rejection. In the dark it’s hard to see, but it’s pelting me, over and over again.



And I’m honestly frickin sick of it now.

* * *

 **Chapter Five** **  
** **Caught in the Rain**

* * *

Izzy was in his room. A bed was made up neatly in the center, the yellow comforter tweaked where Tentomon liked to rest. A window on the first floor let in a light breeze, just enough to keep him awake. Humming on the opposite wall, a custom computer ran lines of code.

Even squinting, Izzy found it undecipherable, just rows upon rows of gibberish. Whatever code he had written must have been obliterated by…

He blinked, feeling a sort of heavy haziness behind his eyes. Had that picture on the dresser always been there? He couldn't make out the exact expression on the faces. The mug that kept an assortment of pens on his desk was faded and blurry - what did it say again? Tai had gave it to him and spent half the day laughing about how brilliant it was. He had been so proud he understood the joke that Izzy hadn’t had the heart to say it wasn’t really a programming thing.

His hand reached to touch it and metal cut into his wrist.

“Vivid.”

The voice broke into his room and tore it apart.

Darkness seeped in, fading the edges of his vision until it was gone.

“Who’s there?” Izzy asked. His voice croaked and echoed back at him. He felt cold and sore, like he had been in the same position for hours.

Heavy clicks scraped across a stone floor, but there was no light to see. Izzy could hear them coming closer.

“The world has begun,” the voice rasped, blasting hot rancid breath across Izzy’s cheek, making him flinch. “A masterpiece that could have never been without our collaboration. Digimon and human, joined as one.”

Izzy’s head spun, but before he could ask questions, the low scraping of claws on stone faded and the heavy sound of a closing door filled the dark. His mind raced, filled with possibilities. He gave his hands a violent tug and felt his elbows snap as they met the resistance of chains.

“Help!” Izzy yanked at his restraints until everything hurt. Muscles sore and skin torn, he gave up, exhausted and panting.

It was only then, in the silence of the dark, that he heard the sound of heavy breaths that weren’t his own.

* * *

 

Bright light slipped into memory. One by one, they came to the surface, rising from the best and worst parts of his mind - pulled by a hypnotist without words. It was like their journey to the dark, where his soul was ripped from his body, only this time he was still painfully aware of the dull throb in his brow while he relived the past.

_.~*~~**~~*~._

The desolate cityscape is bleak and silent. It almost looks like a normal dreary day.

I try to imagine I’m on a field trip to the see the world’s monuments. Except they’re all in one place, like Disney without all the people; the things of textbooks, tucked between high rises. For some reason this version of the Eiffel tower seems smaller than the one in France. I stare for a long time at the colosseum and roman statues, the tower of Pisa, leaning.

I’m searching for monsters emerging from the stones.

It’s hard to forget the Dark Masters are after us, striking while we’re apart. I try not to think about Matt. I’m not a baby anymore.

I reach to touch Patamon’s nose as I turn from the window. He’s somehow sleeping on my hat again and he feels heavy as I walk, finding my way to Kari’s side. She’s lying so still, somehow both pale and flushed at once, silky strands sticking in pieces to her forehead. She seems really sick. I try to look brave because I think that’s what Tai would want.

He put me in charge even though Sora‘s older. I don’t want to let him down.

Sora presses a cool compress on Kari’s forehead. Gatomon curls up beside her like a common housecat, concern etched across her strangely expressive face. When I take another step forward, Kari's eyes open and a small, sweet smile tugs at her mouth.

"How are you feeling?" Sora asks, running a hand over the Kari’s sweat-soaked hair.

Kari strokes Gatomon's ears and the digimon relaxes. "I'm fi--” A coughing fit consumes her.

"Let me get you some water." Sora leaves the room, Biyomon trailing behind. I can hear them whispering.

Tai and Izzy have been gone a long time.

I take Sora’s chair. "Don't worry,” I say. My feet begin to thump, back and forth against the legs. “Tai's gonna be back with some medicine for you real soon."

Recovered from her coughing fit, Kari smiles again. "Thanks, TK."

It is at that moment, for the first time, with her sick and red, that I really think someone is beautiful. I mean, sure, my mom and Mimi and Sora are all pretty, but for some reason, this is different. I grip the edge of my seat as heat rushes to my cheeks.

Patamon’s ears raise, suddenly awake and silent.

"I'm going to take care of you, Kari,” I say. I’m not even sure why, but I know it’s true.  And I don’t mean until Tai returns. I mean always.

Her eyes glisten with fever and joy.

.~*~~**~~*~.

When TK opened his, it was like they had never left.

He would never forget the drab interior of the mansion inside Machinedramon's city. The museum-like linens, so perfect they looked like they should be viewed from behind a velvet rope. He half expected to find Kari still lying under the covers, sick.

Ken’s voice cut through the silence. “Where are we?” Fingers pressed his temple, his face twisted and pale. He looked ill.

"This is Digiworld," Sora said, sounding unsure.

Tai started pacing back and forth along the marble floors. "But this was all destroyed by Machinedramon and his henchmen. It shouldn't exist."

Matt was peering out the same window that TK had kept watch out of all those years ago. "Is that the Eifel Tower?" He sounded only partially surprised.

Tai joined him at the window. "Yeah, crazy, right?” He pointed to the Roman Colosseum and shouted, "SPARTACUS!”

"What about the others?" Kari asked, eyes flickering to TK.

He pulled his D-3 out of his pocket to avoid looking. "It's just us," he said. "They're gone."

"Damn it," Tai muttered. "We shouldn't have left them." His fist clenched tightly as he continued to stare at the city.

Matt placed a hand on his shoulder. "We'll find them again, Tai," he said, "and Izzy."

Tai nodded and took a deep breath. A half-hearted grin replaced the frown on his face. "I guess I should come up with a plan."

They waited expectantly before his expression fell again. "It'd help if I knew why we were here. Or where here really is.”

"You don't think this is really Digiworld?" Sora asked.

"If this city was destroyed in the digital world then either someone rebuilt it...” Ken’s voice trailed off. He’d finally removed his hand from his head, but he still looked in pain.

"Or we’re somewhere else," TK finished.

"Izzy’s program?” asked Tai.

TK's gaze wandered to Kari. She knew the significance of this place. He remembered asking her if she’d remembered once: if she could tell at nine that he was already in love with her. She stared at him now, her bright eyes begging for forgiveness.

"I remembered this," he admitted, tearing his gaze away. "It felt like someone was…” The wound seemed too fresh, like claws tearing in his mind.

TK took a breath. “I think this is my memory."

Instead of questioning him, everyone fell silent. TK wondered if they thought he was crazy.

Ken spoke first. "I felt it too." His hand was pressed against his head again. "For all our sakes, I'm glad we're in your memory and not mine."

* * *

 

.~*~~**~~*~.

I stand on the shore, surrounded by friends and alone.

Joe and Ikkakumon are fading across a colorless lake, on some stupid journey of self-discovery while I stand here, not knowing what to do next. I feel helpless and I hate feeling that way. I give the murky sand an angry kick.

I’m used to getting my way and he told me no.

"Mimi? Are you okay?" Palmon's big green eyes stare up at me. I start to cry.

"Why do boys have to be so stupid?" I sweep the back of my glove under my eyes, trying to stop the tears.

Palmon stares at me and I kind of hate how well she knows me. "Are you talking about Joe?"

"No!” I say, stomping my foot like I’m still four. “Not just him! Boys! Why do they always have to go 'find themselves'? They aren’t lost, they’re just stupid!"

Palmon's flower quivers in confusion.

"They always have to prove something,” I continue, words spilling along my hiccuping cries. I want to curl into a ball and hit something. "They always have to fight."

"Oh, Mimi.” Palmon wraps her vine-like hands around me.

"I know that I left everyone so we wouldn't have to fight, but…” Mist has swallowed Joe and Ikkakumon, leaving nothing visible but fog. My voice cowers in my throat. “I don't want to be alone."

Palmon’s vines turn inward, resting on her little green hips. I wonder if she learned that from me.

"I'm here!” she says. “And so are all your other friends!" She gestures to the other digimon who are burying the broken eggs in Primary Village.

The devastation takes hold. All those poor babies… I nod and try to pull myself together. "You're right, Palmon. Thank you for staying with me."

I turn from the lake and follow her to the burial ground.

A geckomon comes racing to my side. His slimy hand would have bothered me once, but now I take it in my palm. It feels real, even if it’s gross.

"Don't worry, Princess Mimi," he says. "They'll be reborn again."

I nod in silence and feel guilty that the deaths of the digimon aren't the cause of my tears.

.~*~~**~~*~.

The lake was still gray.

Joe stood by her side and it seemed to take him longer than usual to unlace their fingers. He gave Mimi’s hand another silent squeeze before letting go.

"Who could have done this?"

Cody's voice was shocked and angry. Mimi turned to see him staring in disbelief at the ruins of Primary Village. Digieggs lied in pieces, smashed in, the monumental building blocks were ragged and overturned, and the school for baby and in-training digimon was in ruins. All was gray.

Joe swallowed heavily. "The Dark Masters," he said. "But they’re gone. Right?"

"I don't think we're in the digital world," Mimi said.  Silence surrounded them. There were no digimon burying their dead; not even the sound of small animals scurrying in the forest.

"Mimi?" Joe touched her shoulder. "You're crying."

She wiped tears from her cheeks, pulling away fingertips stained with mascara. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"What do you mean we're not in the digital world?" Cody asked. He was clearly distraught at the sight before him. Anyone would be. The bright, cheerful birthplace of digimon was monochrome and filled with death.

"I dreamt about this," Mimi explained. "That light and then so many memories… Is this an illusion? Like Devimon’s hotel?"

Joe and Cody glanced at each other for a brief moment as if they were sharing the same thought. Mimi wiped away the remainder of her tears.

"This is awful," Cody finally said.

Joe’s gaze had shifted back to Mimi. “It is.”

"What happened to everyone else, Cody?” Mimi asked. “Do you think they're here too?"

He looked at his D-3. “I’m not getting anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean my screen is blank. There’s nothing there.”

Joe pushed up his glasses and shifted the weight of the bag on his shoulder. "We're responsible for leaving Yolei and Davis behind,” he said. “We need to find them."

Instead of choosing a direction to go, Joe placed his bag on the ground and kneeled, taking a broken digiegg into his arms. Then, without care for his bare hands or pressed dress shirt, he began to dig.

Mimi didn't question him. Even if they weren't really in the digital world, even if this was all an illusion, it was the right thing to do.

She and Cody joined him on the ground and began digging tiny graves.

* * *

 

.~*~~**~~*~.

Mist thickens the air. Rainclouds linger in a thick sheet above, waiting to make good on their threat of rain. Umbrellas litter the campus, popping up as students make their way out of the building.

I spot Kari’s in a second. It makes me grin every time: hordes of cats tangled in a single string of red yarn. I think it’s funny that cats shield her from the rain. Sorta wish the artist had drawn them all half-drowned. Gatomon would be offended.

Kari’s searching through the crowd and her eyes catch on a head of blonde hair. It’s not TK, but I can tell she wishes it was. It takes her a minute to realize and then the umbrella droops, hiding her face.

I frown. She’s been all mopey since he left. Yolei told me they had a fight right before he and his mom took off for an extended visit to France and they haven’t talked since. If it were me I woulda fought my parents until they let me stay just so I could make it up to her. I probably woulda gotten my way too. My mom loves love. And me too, I think.

I sorta wanna tell her that, but I think I’ll just flick TK in the ear when he gets home and tell him. I’ve been trying out this self-control thing lately. I think it’s going well.

When I reach Kari, I force my hands under the umbrella, flipping it back. She still looks sad.

“Stop that,” I say.

She blinks. “What?”

“Pouting.”

“ _You’re_ pouting.”

I look at my bottom lip. She’s right.

“It’s contagious.”

Kari gives the umbrella a tug and I let go. My hands feel like they need something to do, so I fiddle with the goggles on my neck, stretching them over my head. Kari gets this faraway look in her eyes, still searching the crowd like TK is going to pop back up a week early.

I lift the goggles over my head and snap them on hers.

“Ouch!” she cries, reaching to take them off.

“Nope.” I bat her hand away and try to adjust them above her ears. “Just let them sit there for a minute.” She grimaces as the band catches her hair, creating a series of messy bunches. I step back and admire my work. She looks awesome.

“Feel the power,” I say.

“I do not need goggles to make me powerful.”

“You are wrong.” I give them a flick in the lens. “Everyone needs somethin. Seriously. Channel Tai like I do. You kinda look like him now.”

“This is weird.”

“It’ll make you stop missin TK.”

Raindrops patter against the umbrella and she pulls it away so I’m exposed.

“Heeeeyy.” I move in, bumping her shoulder to fit even though I can tell she’s mad. I yank my phone from my pants pocket and take a picture of her. I look at it and shake my head. She’s frowning, hair in every direction, goggles askew.

“Terrible,” I say. “Just sad.”

Kari pulls the umbrella away again. “Walk home by yourself.”

Cold drops scatter across my shirt. Feels good because I sorta run hot anyway. “Awww, c’mon.You look cute even if you’re all grumpy and stuff.”

I’m under her umbrella again, rubbing arms while I try to get my phone back in my pocket. I feel like if I pushed just a little, she’d probably go flying. It’s weird how she makes me feel big when we used to be like the same size a year ago.

She’s ignoring me so I give her a nudge. She stumbles and glares at me.

“What happened with you two anyway?” I ask.

“Nothing,” she snaps. “Nothing happened.”

“Yolei said you’re fighting.”

“Ugh.”

“You don’t wanna tell me?”

“Not really.”

“Why not?” I’m not sure why I feel bad, but I do. Probably because I’m not really the kind of guy people want to confide in and that kinda sucks. I talk too much, I guess. I feel my forehead crinkle and Kari looks at me, sighing.

“I can listen,” I tell her.

“I know,” she says. Her shoulder bumps into my arm when we turn a corner. “It’s just weird talking about it with you.”

I raise a brow. “I’m so over you, please.”

Sort of. I mean, I try not to think about it most of the time, but I have this habit of feeling things hard and hoping too much. I laugh a little. Irony.

“Really?” she asks.

I look at her: hair a mess under Tai’s goggles and her almond eyes, watching me.  “Nope.”

“Really?”

“Wait, which one surprises you?”

We wait for a car before we move into the crosswalk.

“Both,” she says.

A gust of wind bursts before us and her umbrella flips inside out, blowing back into the busy street. I go to get it, but a car beats me, leaving behind its shattered shell in the road. Two seconds later a bus comes and we cringe at the sound of snapping metal.

“Yikes. I think it’s a goner.” I bow to the umbrella’s remains. It’s hit again by a taxi and dragged a little further down the street. “You served us well, faithful cats. May you rest in peace, hopefully in a place where you’ll never have to get wet again.”

“I really liked that umbrella.” Kari lifts a hand to shield rain from her face, her frown tighter than before. “Too bad you never remember yours.”

I shrug and whip my backpack around to pull out my jacket. I hand it to her and she pulls it over her head. It’s hard not liking her when I notice her blushing.

“He acts like we’re just friends still,” she says suddenly, pulling the jacket around her like a head scarf. The goggles disappear beneath it. “I thought he liked me.”

“Huh. Like you guys don’t kiss and stuff?” I ask. Kari’s right. This is weird to talk about with her. I feel a little out of place and I sorta think TK might punch me if he knew. I’d punch me.

“A little,” she says, blush deepening.

“So, were you like… wanting more?” I’m thankful for the rain because I feel like fire. I wipe some from my face and move away from her to avoid stepping in a puddle. I’m kinda surprised, because I guess I thought Kari’d be more conservative or something. I’m really trying hard not to think about this too much.

“I just thought things would be different,” she says. “He seems like he doesn’t even want to hold my hand. He’s super cautious even though we’ve known eachother forever. I don’t know what he’s waiting for.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to mess up.” I know I wouldn’t, but then again, I can’t imagine being super cautious either. Self-control again. Not my strong suit.

“Yeah, I guess so,” Kari says. “He seemed really upset when I brought it up.”

“And then he left?”

“Without kissing me goodbye.”

“I would never do that.”

The words come out before I can stop them. I told myself I wasn’t going to be an ass when they started dating, but I can’t help myself. I clear my throat when she looks at her feet, face hidden under my jacket.

I apologize.

“It’s fine,” she says, even though I can tell she’s embarrassed. I stuff my hands in my pockets and pick up the pace. She has to jog to keep up. “Slow down.”

I obey.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t say stuff like that.” I kick a puddle. “But my promises are shit apparently.”

“You just say what you feel,” she says and I feel everything.

“Yeah.”

“It’s a good thing, Davis.”

I shrug. “It’s really not.”

“It’s better than having to guess what you’re thinking,” she says and I know she’s thinking about TK.

“Yeah, now you know how I feel about you.”

Kari stares at me for a minute and I realize that came out meaning more than one thing. I stutter a bit. “I, uh, mean you’re like that too. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what’s going on with you. You just look sad and don’t talk.”

“Sorry.” She forces a smile.

“Fake.”

She rolls her eyes and suddenly we hear it: the clouds releasing a torrent of rain as if they are unable to hold it any longer. It comes like a sheet behind us. We’re less than a block away from home.

“Run!” I say, grabbing her hand.

She cries, “What?” over a clap of thunder, but she’s running with me anyway. “We’re not going to beat it!”

And sure enough the sheet catches up to us. A downpour drenching whatever dry parts we have left. She’s laughing now, an echo to me I think. I can’t help it. It makes me feel like we’re little again, playing in the puddles before Tai swoops in to glare at me and tell her she has to come inside.

We can’t talk anymore because the rain is so heavy, but her hand clings to mine the whole way. I dread letting her go. I could live in a world of downpours if she was with me.

I see the outline of my apartment building and start to slow down, but now she’s tugging me. We almost collide under the ledge of the roof and I’m still laughing even though I know it’s over now. I don’t want her to stop smiling.

She doesn’t let go of my hand.

She stares at me, the fog of her breath touching my chin and I start doing this stupid chant of “TK. TK. TK.” in my brain as if that might help put out the fire that’s exploding around me.

And then she kisses me. I don’t expect it. It literally comes out of nowhere and the chant in my head swirls into a million questions that I don’t want to ask because I really really don’t want her to stop.

I have kissed exactly one other girl in my life. She was my teammate’s sister and I was so worried about getting it right that it went really wrong. There was way too much tongue and our teeth touched. I avoided her for the rest of the school year.

This is different. So unexpected that I don’t have time to worry. I unwrap into it, like coils of anticipation finally left without a weight. My jacket slides from her head when my hands slip behind her neck, tangling into her hair. My thumbs scrape the corners of her jaw. She touches my chest and I lose all my goals of self-control.

She tastes like rain and strawberry lip gloss and as I lose myself in kissing her, my head is recounting all my daydreams of our life together.

Then she stops.

We just sort of stare at each other for a minute, catching our breath. I didn’t realize stopping could actually hurt, but it does. I ache all over.

The spell is broken when a man in a suit steps around us to get to the elevators. Reality slowly sinks in.

“I…” She looks completely lost. “I am so, so sorry.”

I don’t know what to say.  I just shake my head like an idiot.

“I love TK,” she whispers. “Davis. I love him.”

My heart is literally crushed. I let it get so big that my chest can’t hold it.

“I love you,” I tell her because I do. I didn’t realize it until now, until I finally thought maybe there was a chance she felt the same.

Water glistens in her eyelashes and I can’t tell if it’s from the rain. It pours behind us, deafening.

“I’m sorry,” she says again.

She leaves my jacket on the ground and the rain ricochets against my goggles, still nestled in her hair.

_.~*~~**~~*~._

Something shattered, ending his dreams. They had been fitful, scores of black scattering across memory.  

Davis pulled his head off his sweaty pillow and immediately felt the nausea return. His bed was wet. Goosebumps broke out across his chest and he shivered, actually cold for once. He kicked off damp sheets and found his jeans soaked through.

Did Ken take him home? God, he’d been so drunk. He could still feel the alcohol, heavy in his limbs, subduing everything but his restless stomach.

His mom was probably pissed. Davis heard a loud bang from the kitchen and sunk back into his bed, ready to resign to being cold and wet and smelling like vomit rather than face her.

It was the smell that won out. Dragging fingers down his eyelids, he managed to get himself out of bed. He tossed his soaked pants on the floor and grabbed an old towel from the floor. Wrapping it around his waist, he took a deep breath, ready for a lecture, and stepped into the hall.

A pan fell to the floor. And there was Yolei, on her hands and knees in his kitchen, shielding her eyes.

Davis instantly shut himself into the bathroom.

"What the hell are you doing in my house?" he shouted through the door.

Yolei’s voice came back at him, shrill. "I helped you get inside, remember?"

He glared at the door, angry that he had no idea what she was talking about. "No.”

“We lost them.” Her voice wavered, but she was still messing around in the kitchen. The fridge opened and closed. “First Mimi, Cody and Joe and then Ken and the others.”

It came back. The darkness and memory crowding that place. It still seemed like some sort of bad trip.

Davis turned to the mirror and found bloodshot eyes. Skin was peeling on his lips and one was fat and swollen. He pushed on a tender cheekbone, already turning purple.

"It wasn't a dream?"

"No," said Yolei.

Davis raked his fingers through his hair, flinging water. He didn’t even remember the rain. There was a short pop and sizzle and the smell of something frying coming through the door.

He turned on the shower. "If we're back home then why are you still here?"

Yolei’s huff was audible over the running water.

"Because, Davis, we're not home. We're somewhere else."

He paused and cracked open the door, peering out at her. "What?"

Yolei looked up from the frying pan. Her glasses were cracked, lines running in webs over one lens. She squinted, accusing him with a spatula.

"There's no one here,” she said. “Your family, your neighbors, my family.” The spatula went up and down with each item on the list. “Everyone’s gone. Even the streets are empty."

No longer worried about modesty, Davis shot out of the bathroom, barely holding onto his towel. He snatched the telephone from the kitchen wall and started to dial his mom's cell when he noticed the line was completely dead.

“Where’s my phone?” he asked.

“Tried that,” said Yolei, pointing the spatula to where it lied on the kitchen table. She didn’t look his way.

It didn’t even turn on.

“Did you charge it?”

“I’m a computer tech, Davis. Seriously?” Then she muttered to herself, “Did you turn it off and back on again?”

“Did you?”

She almost tossed the spatula at him.

When Davis stepped outside his apartment door, the only sound in the normally busy Odaiba streets was the pouring rain. Nothing passed by, no cars, no people, nothing alive. He came back into the house and looked at Yolei's knowing face in disbelief.

"Where are we?"

She frowned and took a break from cooking to pour herself a cup of tea. Lines of mascara stained her cheeks in streaks of black. She took a slow sip before answering him.

"I don't know, but we're going to get out of here.”

Davis could tell by the sound of her voice that she was trying to convince herself. For a minute, he stared while she absorbed herself with cracking eggs over the stove, and then he shut himself into the bathroom, dry heaving over the toilet and trying to forget why they were caught in the rain.


	6. Empty

Anxiety is paralyzing.

I'd like to think I'm somewhat of a medical mystery, like a man walking with a severed spinal cord. Not that I don't get anxiety anymore. It still makes me nauseous and neurotic, but I can cope, push past it.

I used to think I couldn't do both: feel and act. Gomamon taught me better. Humor helps. I try to take things less seriously even though it's essentially against my nature not to worry. But sometimes things aren't funny. So I breathe. Even when it feels like I can't—when the panic digs in, burying itself in my skin until it pulses through my bloodstream and my lungs collapse—I breathe.

I've learned you can't stop living just just because it feels like you're going to die. There's people counting on you. So you climb the giant monster, you follow the hopeless path, you try to see in the dark.

This place is anxiety on steroids. Every memory a reminder of the times I couldn't deal, the darkness pressing in with the weight of a thousand expectations.

I feel everything here. So I breathe. Feel. Act.

Breathe.

* * *

**Chapter Six  
Empty**

* * *

Chills rose goosebumps on her skin, as if the memory alone had reignited her fever.

Kari stared at the same bed she'd lied on, sick as as a child. She rubbed her arms and resisted the temptation to curl into a ball and hide under the covers.

Because despite living in a memory, nothing had changed. Guilt still tugged at her heart like an anchor, making her feet so heavy they left imprints in the floor. She tried to relive that day… the rain and love that led her away. She had felt so empty until that moment.

Kari turned back toward the stairs. They would notice her missing and if she was lying in bed, sick, she was sure Tai would have a nervous breakdown. Kari could hear him in the kitchen below, the shuffle of a fruitless search. She made her way down the steps and thankfully only Ken seemed to notice her return.

TK was too busy trying not to look at her.

"This place is exactly the same," Tai grumbled, scattering cardboard boxes on the counter, each one empty. Matt picked one up and examined it before returning it to the cabinet and closing the door that still swung open.

TK gave a pill bottle a shake and it remained silent.

"Hopefully not exactly the same," Sora said. The wood frame of the window cast a line of shadow over the center of her face as she peered through it.

Tai gave up on the pantry and joined her at the window, leaning on the ledge. "Did you see something?"

"No." Sora stood and pulled at the sleeves of her sweater. "It's quiet."

"Kind of peaceful without the Tankmon chant, huh?" Tai gave her a nudge in the ribs. "Ah ah ah."

She batted him away.

"Maybe we should check the hospital," he said after a minute. "The pharmacy there was stocked. There might be food in the cafeteria."

"Do you think Machinedramon is back?" asked Sora.

Tai's brow went heavy, creases running in lines on his forehead, cutting into his cheek. Kari remembered the way he fell to his knees after this place went up in the flames from the Airdramon's attack, thinking they had still been inside, how painful it had been to watch him lose everything.

"I hope not," Tai said, tugging at the curtain. "I wish Izzy was here. I don't even know if I can find the hospital without him."

"We'll find him," Sora said. There was just the slightest shift in her stance, so subtle that Kari wouldn't have noticed if she hadn't been looking for it. It was as if her hand had touched Tai's without touching it, a gentle gesture that she would have given if it had been anyone else. Somehow its absence spoke words.

A cabinet door shut as Matt returned another empty box to its place.

"I doubt there's any digimon here," Ken said, absently pulling open a drawer and finding it empty.

"Right, Izzy's program," Tai said, pushing himself straight. He paced the room, hand reaching for the digivice clinging to his belt loop. "Do we know that for sure?"

"Why else would this still be here?" asked TK. His voice was low and hollow and too unlike the boy she knew. Kari couldn't help but look at him. He seemed to speak to the pill bottle in his hand. "Whatever parts of this city the airdramon and gaurdromon didn't destroy, Machinedramon did. It's a replica."

"Did you forget Spiral Mountain?" Sora asked. "Digiworld has a knack for repairing itself."

"Like reformatting?" Tai said. His confidence instantly wavered. "I honestly have no idea what I'm talking about. Ken, feel free to correct me. Izzy would."

"You're not wrong," said Ken. "It would be something like that. Returning to its original state. But I don't think that's what this is."

"It's not," said TK.

"Then we need to find the others and find a way out of here," said Matt.

Ken checked his D-3 and Kari knew there was still nothing on it but darkness because the haunted expression of his brow remained.

"We're going to find them," Tai said, "with or without the digivices." There was a low roil, churning in the tension. Tai grimaced and rubbed his growling stomach. "But first, food. Let's check the hospital."

When everyone began to gather, TK came to Kari's side, the empty pill bottle still clenched in his hand. She stood very still, as if any movement would send him away. Shock was the only thing that kept her from glaring when Tai's eyes flashed suspiciously in their direction.

"Are you okay?" TK asked. His brow looked dark under a forming bruise, a shadowy cloud over blue sky. He didn't look at her long and his knuckles went white around the bottle.

"No," Kari said, picturing those knuckles in Davis's face, the two of them and her and how she had ruined everything in a moment. "I don't know what I am."

TK frowned. It felt like an eternity passed. Tai gave a gruff cough as he left the room, talking loudly to Ken about Izzy's program, as if his voice would pull them apart in his absence.

"I miss you." TK said suddenly as Tai's voice faded. The medicine cap clicked when he twisted his hands. "This place is just…We've been through a lot together. And I… I'm still mad. But it's weird not talking to you, you know?"

Kari's eyelids burned as she gave a nod. "I miss you too."

"Maybe we can go back."

"To what?"

"To this." TK made a wide gesture with the pill bottle. She wondered if he thought he could cure them with it. "The past. We're literally in it." He gave a short laugh and his eyes dropped to the bottle as it drooped with his hands. "I don't want to throw it away because we didn't work out. We should be friends."

Kari had to bite her lip before speaking. Her feet sunk through the floor.

"Okay."

His smile made a beautiful mask.

...

* * *

...

There was only one other time in her life Yolei could remember Davis  _not_ gorging his food down in less than five minutes. He had come to school that morning looking pale and threw up all over the cafeteria floor after taking one small bite of a rice ball. They were still in elementary school then and Cody had been the only one mature enough to risk helping the puking kid to the nurse's office. Davis was out sick for a few days, recovering from a nasty stomach virus.

Now he picked at the eggs she had cooked, chewing them slowly. Yolei had finished her plate some time ago and was watching him warily, waiting in suspense to see if the food was going to come back up all over the dining room table.

Davis set down his chopsticks and Yolei relaxed when he took a sip of tea instead of upchucking.

"So." He stopped to clear his throat. It was the first time he had spoken since he'd come out of the steaming bathroom, still looking ill and ignoring her voice of concern with a loud groan. He had laid a head of damp hair on the table and rolled the long sleeves of his thermal shirt up and down a thousand times before he settled on picking at the peeling number of the old soccer jersey on his chest. He only quit when she slid a plate into his head.

It was a strange relief to hear his voice again.

"Where'd everybody go?"

"I don't know," Yolei said. She picked up her own cup of tea and took a long sip. When she set it down, it echoed in the quiet. "They left. And then they just stopped replying to my messages."

When her message to Ken had bounced back to her D-terminal, she had lost it. The light, the memories and the rain all seemed like one long bad dream. She had sat there crying like an idiot while torrents swept under the ledge of the roof, soaking her through. When she finally came to her senses, she found Davis slumped into the pavement, half awake from the cold, muttering nonsense in breaths of liquor. Yolei managed to get him to the elevator where he held himself up by the forehead against the metal walls. Apparently he was too drunk to remember her helping him peel off his soaking shirt and boots (or him whining when she told him she wasn't touching his pants with a ten foot pole). He had been snoring again before his head hit the pillow.

Yolei eyed her D-Terminal on the table. "I can't even get it on anymore."

Davis picked up a piece of toast, nibbling on the edge. "Why were you cryin?"

"What?"

"You got black streaks on your face." With his free hand he ran a finger down his cheek, emulating tears.

Yolei took off her glasses, trying to wipe away her ruined mascara. "It's from the rain, stupid."

Davis gave an unappreciative snort and took another bite of toast. He seemed to struggle swallowing, but once he had, he stared her down. "You should change."

"Change yourself," Yolei spat back.

"I mean your clothes, s _tupid_."

She could hear the injury riding under his snappy tone. Guilt subdued the adrenaline that had been coursing through Yolei since they'd been left alone. She suddenly felt the cold and the goosebumps beneath the wet fabric of her shirt.

"I know," she muttered.

Davis pushed the eggs on his plate around with his toast. "Jun has some that might fit you."

Yolei doubted that. Jun was shorter and curvier than she was, but even if the clothes didn't fit right it would be nice to wear something warm and dry. Her mini-skirt was plastered so tightly to her that she wondered if she could even get it off her skin. She stood, giving it a tug.

"Second door on the left," Davis muttered through another bite of toast. Crumbs flew over his uneaten eggs.

She mumbled a thank you and made her way down the hall. Jun's door opened with an obnoxious creak. Yolei stepped inside and went still.

Every inch of wall was covered with posters. There were tons of them, each showcasing bands and boy groups and all of them without faces. Even their bodies were swirls of color, strange blobs holding guitars or striking stupid poses. The only clear figure was Matt, sticking out from what must have been the indistinguishable bodies of his bandmates. His eyes seemed ridiculously blue and narrow.

In a daze, Yolei made her way to the dresser. She managed to tear her eyes away from the odd walls to open a drawer.

It was empty.

"Davis?"

When he didn't answer, Yolei's eyes returned to the posters on the wall. The blobs of people and Matt seemed suddenly sinister.

"DAVIS!"

She heard him come barreling down the hallway and he skid into the room, looking panicked.

"What the hell is wrong with y—the hell?" His jaw dropped at the sight of the walls.

Yolei started pulling drawers open one by one, each of them empty.

"Where's all her stuff?" Davis was staring at the room, confused. A gaudy floral comforter was wrinkled at the foot of Jun's bed. He had remarked once to Yolei that it looked like something his grandma would have used.

"What is wrong with these posters?" Yolei asked.

"So weird… I dunno," Davis said. "Matt's looks normal. Whenever I come in here I'm pretty sure he's glaring at me."

"This is wrong. There should be other people here," Yolei said, shoving a finger into one of the twisted figures beside Matt's clear face.

"I don't know," Davis repeated. "I don't really remember those guys."

"What?"

"I don't remember wh—"

"That's it!" Yolei's finger flew in front of his face. "You can't remember!" She spun around and took in the room with awe, mind racing. " _This! This_  is Izzy's program. It has to be. We're actually  _in_  it… or maybe in its world? I can't believe it." Her fingers ran across the dresser and onto the wall, amazed at how real it felt. "It really worked."

"Huh?"

"That's what was wrong with it! Memories aren't accurate enough. Ken and Izzy had been trying to figure out an algorithm that would allow the computer to fill in the blanks, but maybe it-"

"Hey, slow down. What are you talkin about?"

Yolei tried to shake off the anxiety riddling her excitement. "We're in your memory, Davis."

Davis stared for what seemed like an eternity before he sunk onto Jun's mattress. Yolei was beginning to worry he was going to be sick again when he said, "I thought I was dreaming."

"Me too," Yolei said. "I can't believe it really worked. I wonder if the other's are here somewhere too or…" Her heart sunk with her onto the bed beside him.

It was quiet for a moment before Davis spoke up, his voice low and agitated. "Or what?"

"Or we're in different worlds. What if everyone went to a different memory and I'm stuck here in  _yours_?"

"I'm gonna try not to be insulted by that."

"I'm serious, Davis. It's possible… I mean, I think it is."

"Well then, we just gotta find a way out of this one, right?"

Yolei wondered how, in the light of everything that seemed to be going wrong, Davis always managed to stay so optimistic. Despite his hopeful words, his face looked haggard. Her cracked lens snapped through his bruised cheekbone and split his lip in two.

She squinted. "You should try to finish your food."

Hooking an arm over his stomach, Davis gave a short laugh. "No thanks."

"I can't believe how drunk you were."

"I was goin for tipsy." When she snorted, he added, "The problem with tipsy is not wantin it to end."

"I was surprised you didn't start crying over Mimi coming back."

"I almost cried over your makeup. OUCH!"

Yolei glared while Davis rubbed the underside of his arm. As if it hurt through all that thermal. His fattened lip looked even fatter when he pouted.

She sighed. "Kari is great and all, but she's not worth it, you know." His lip pulled impossibly further down. Yolei peeled off her lenses so she didn't have to look at his cracked face and told him, "You shouldn't be punishing yourself like this."

"You… you wouldn't get it." He stared at her, an angry blurry blob in a strange blurry room. And for some reason, his words stung.

"No one gets you, Davis."

He pushed himself off the bed and she sunk into the mattress. "Then I'm in good company."

"I was just trying to make you feel better," she said.

"Well, you suck."

"You wish."

Davis laughed all the way down the hall. Yolei followed after a moment, not sure who had gotten the better of their argument - or if it had really been one. She walked slowly, Izzy's program coming to the forefront of her mind. Carefully, she observed the paint on the walls, the carpet fibers between her toes, a memory brought to second life. It was the only explanation. Her broken lenses split color apart and she looked up to find a picture hanging just inside the Motomiya's room, every detail clear. A much younger Davis beamed a gap-toothed grin as he was crushed under the arm of his sister, his first soccer trophy gleaming in his hands. Yolei's fingers touched the frame and wondered…

"Here." A bundle of clothes flew in front of her face and hung there, waiting for acceptance. Davis was looking at her strange, eyes flashing to the picture and back. "You should get outta those wet clothes before you start hackin."

Blood rushed to her cheeks when he forced them into her hands.

"Thanks," she mumbled.

"There's some washcloths under the sink, y'know, for your..."

Davis's big fat lip trembled and with a loud mocking sob, he slid his fingers down like tears over his cheeks.

Yolei hit him with his own clothes, wishing they were hard enough to leave a mark.

...

* * *

...

The world was silent.

Whenever he paused, silencing the brush of foliage against their feet, there was nothing. This wasn't Digiworld.

The Digital World teemed with life even in the absence of digimon. Bugs darted around the swamps, fish swam in the oceans and lakes, even squirrels dove from one branch to the next - food for the greater beings. Joe grimaced as he remembered eating squirrel the first time, the sinewy bite overcooked by Agumon's pepper breath. Tai had been so proud.

But here, there was only absence. The gray forest, devoid of color and life.

"My feet hurt," Mimi murmured, the shrill beginning of the whine climbing into her voice when one of her heels snagged on a root. "I miss my boots."

"Your feet hurt then too," Joe said.

Her bottom lip sunk into a pout. "Have you ever worn heels, Joe?"

Blood rushed to his cheeks. "I managed to escape before you could get any on me."

Beside them, Cody was having a hard time trying to hide a smile.

"I keep forgetting you're no fun." Mimi stopped and grabbed Joe by the forearm. "Wait."

He teetered sideways as her weight pressed into him. She successfully removed a heel and freed a pebble, leaning against him until she'd managed to tuck her foot back in.

"Thanks."

"You've got a blister," Joe managed.

"Gross. Told you they hurt."

Joe turned away and dug into his bag. He handed her a bandage and an alcohol wipe. "Here, you should clean it up before it bursts."

"Ew, that word." Mimi stuck out her tongue, eyeing the offending foot. "Bursts. So nasty."

"We should probably call it night soon anyway."

"This might be a good place." Cody's voice came through the dense brush ahead. It wasn't until then that Joe realized he had gone ahead, leaving them alone. He cleared his throat and pushed branches aside, holding them for Mimi to pass.

A fallen tree had cleared the space beyond, leaving a wide opening in the vegetation, revealing the mouth of a small cave. Three or four people could huddle inside, low and under a wave of vines.

"I think we slept here once," Mimi said to Joe, which produced in him a series of coughs that took awhile to stop.

Mimi sat on the log to bandage her blister and he and Cody gathered enough firewood to keep warm by the time the sun had set. It crackled in the silence. With their faces illuminated by it's warm glow, it was easier to forget the lifeless world. They shared a dinner of granola and power bars and Joe had to adjust his germaphobia in order to handle the passing of his last water bottle.

He also had to ignore Mimi's lips. They still lingered against the plastic rim when she murmured, "I wish Palmon was here."

"I hope Upamon is okay," Cody said. "He was in my backpack. Motimon too."

"I'm sure they're fine," said Joe, waving the water bottle off when Mimi tried to hand it to him. "My guess is they just didn't get through the portal."

There was a little giggle from Mimi. "Can you imagine them stuck at that party? I'd love to see how they got out of there."

Joe grimaced. "I could barely get in. That was worse than the ones they throw in the dorms."

"I keep forgetting you're in college now," said Mimi, giving his foot a playful nudge with her toe. "So old."

Her words subdued his normally flustered reaction to her flirting. It was just one of the many things that nagged his mind when he thought of her. He was an adult now. For once, his studies really counted and each class was a step towards that white coat. His father was already giving him pointers about how to handle his residency. About how he needed to toughen up and not worry so much, how a doctor needed to  _act_ even though Joe hadn't even started med school.

He couldn't afford to be distracted. And Mimi was... She was still planning for her prom and living halfway across the world.

"Joe?"

He startled, finding Cody's gaze across the fire. "Sorry. What?"

"I thought that maybe you knew more about Izzy's program since you were just with him," Cody said. "I haven't been able to get in touch with him for awhile."

Joe tried not to notice Mimi staring. "I don't know much," he said. "He kept talking about it having the ability to use memories to create tangible space." The fire crackled and Joe couldn't help but notice the absence of the cicadas' song. "I don't think it can do much more than that yet."

"I hate when he holes himself up without explaining anything," Mimi said.

"Ken seemed to know a lot about it," said Joe.

Mimi grumbled, "Too bad he's not here."

"So did Yolei," Joe said.

Mimi chewed her lip. "We should've stayed," she said after a long moment. "I didn't think—"

"We'll find them," Cody said.

Mimi gave a nod, silencing the question on her lips. Her hands were clasped tightly around what used to be their only hope. Joe turned to watch the screen of his own dead digivice reflect the flames.

The night was long. The lull of the dying fire made Joe's eyelids grow heavy. He stood and rustled through the forest to grab another log. The flames licked back to life, filling the silent air with their sound. How long had it been since he slept? Joe wasn't sure how long they had been in this world or how long they had spent in the nothing before Mimi's memory came to life.

He poked the fire with a stick to tease a flame. Cody stirred beside Mimi in the cave and Joe settled back, trying to stay quiet.

It was hard when the only sounds were the ones he made. In Digiworld, he used to spend his time on watch jumping at every sound in the brush. Each one had the potential of being an enemy catching him off guard. He could remember jumping to his feet and waking the others on more than one occasion only to be chastised for freaking out over the wind.

The crunch of leaves tore Joe's eyes from the forest and his heart didn't slow any when Mimi took a seat on the log beside him.

"You still have an hour," he whispered. His blazer hugged her shoulders, a makeshift blanket while she slept. In the firelight, it was hard to tell if Joe was imagining the flush on her cheeks.

"I can't get back to sleep. It's too quiet." She thread her arms through his jacket and waved her hands in the wide sleeves, teeth shining in the firelight. "You're such a gentleman, you know that?"

Joe cleared his throat and poked the fire again. "You looked cold."

"I think I'm going to move back to Japan."

Mimi was staring at the fire when Joe whipped back to face her. Her long honey hair glowed orange and shadows danced along the curve of her jaw.

"What?" he asked.

"Next summer, after I finish high school." She grabbed the stick from his hands and dug it into the embers, letting one of the logs settle to the bottom. Flames licked around it.

"Why?"

Mimi turned to him, fire reflecting in her eyes. "You don't want me back?"

"That's not what I meant," Joe said.

"Well, you sure don't sound excited about it."

"I'm just surprised. I thought you liked New York."

"I do, but it's so lonely there."

Joe's chest went tight, like something had taken hold of it. "What about Michael?"

"Don't act dumb, I know Sora told you we broke up."

"She—I'm not acting."

Mimi's lips pursed.

"You've broken up before," Joe explained.

Mimi stared at him long enough that he started to apologize. She raised her hand to stop him.

"I needed someone, I guess," she murmured. "New York's never felt like home to me. It just felt like running away. My parents never did like the whole digidestined thing. I've been gone for so long. It was sort of hard not to feel left out. If it weren't for you and Tai and Izzy..." A painful laugh. "Michael made me feel less alone, but we weren't good for eachother. We were too alike, I think. So"—a sigh blew between her lips—"we decided to end it for good. He's even got a girlfriend now."

Joe frowned. "Is that why you want to come back to Japan?"

Mimi shook her head, a fierce  _no_  whipping hair into her face. "I just want to come home."

They sat together in the stark silence of a world they didn't know.

"Maybe I can get into Tokyo U with you," she said with a smile. "Help you study."

A low laugh rumbled under Joe's breath and his fingers found the frame of his glasses as he turned to the woods. "I can picture it already."

"Joe…"

When he looked, all the color and life the world lacked was in her skin.

"I've missed you."

Their first kiss was cautious and tender and everything he had ever wanted.

...

* * *

...

Water slips from broken pipes and cracked concrete from the surface of the earth. It seems miles above our heads. I can still feel the heat of the airdramons' attacks, the fire melting steel. It seems like mere chance that we've managed to survive. The fall alone should have killed us.

Each drop in the puddle is like a tiny echo to Tai's sneakers, thumping back and forth.

I don't know how to help him anymore. Agumon and Tentomon look dead on their feet… wings? The digimon have already asked for a break. At this rate we won't be any help to Kari, even if we can find her. But Tai's stubborn - and as carefree as he likes to act, when he worries, he panics.

"I'm pretty tired too, Tai." I can hear frustration seeping into my voice. I'm exhausted and grumpy and to be quite honest, sick of corralling Tai's emotions. "Why don't we rest? Then we can commence our search again."

His fists clench and for a second, he actually stops, sneakers squeaking to a halt on damp pavement. "Don't you understand? Kari's sick. We have to find her!"

He tells me like I hadn't been the one with him in the hospital, risking our lives against Machinedramon's henchmen to find her medicine while he broke down.

"I know that," I say. "But she's not here right now."

He turns on me, knuckles white and I can't help but think Matt might be right about Tai ordering people around with his fists.

"That's my point!" he snaps. "We have to find her  _now_!"

Agumon attempts to diffuse him. "Calm down, Tai."

I'm done. I'm sick of following his crazy whims and irrational behavior. I straighten myself, wishing I had my dad's height… and then wondering if maybe I do. "I'm warning you, Tai! You better stop giving us orders, or else!"

"Or else what?"

I'm thrown to the ground before I can answer. Of course, I think Tai knows as well as I that it was an empty threat. I've never been a match for him on a level that mattered. And it bothers me that he knows this and that he stops before he even gets started, like he sees what he's doing for the first time.

And somehow in that moment, I think of him when he's older. The patience he's grown over the years, how he holds his tongue and his fists now. And I know I shouldn't know this, that I shouldn't understand Tai in the future when we are here in the past.

I look at him, his dark erratic eyes, the passion surging in tears beneath, and I ask him for help.

His voice seems older now. "Izzy?"

For a minute, before the darkness surrounds me, I think he understands.


	7. The End of the World

Sometimes I think I think of myself too much.

How unfair things are. How I get the last of everything, how I deserve it, how I don't. How, when I really think about it, I think the Digiworld made a mistake choosing me at all.

Hawkmon would kill me if I told him that.

And then, after my pity party, I think about how I failed again because someone awesome wouldn't cry about getting left behind, they'd do something about it. So I bite my lip and snuff out the tears and try to get outside myself. It never did me any good to be selfish anyway.

But the memories don't help and neither does the dark.

Because when you can't see anything but what's inside you…how do you get out?

* * *

**Chapter Seven  
The End of the World**

* * *

The night had come quick.

They had barely made it into the city before the sun started to set. Shadows stretched under skyscrapers and crept around monuments, making Machinedramon's city look even more like something that had come back from the dead. When the streetlights had come on with no sign of the hospital, Tai took one look at Kari and suggested they turn around.

Matt could still remember TK's description of their narrow escape, coming out in one excited 8-year-old breath and a garble of words that only made Matt both glad and guilty he hadn't been there to worry. About his brother's near-death experience or the way Tai sounded less Tai-like when Kari was sick.

Tai was pacing the same way he must have then, back and forth in front of the grand stairway, so absorbed in himself that it took Matt lighting up for him to come to.

"Look at you," he said, "dirtying up those pretty lungs."

Matt let out a low chuckle and pulled the cigarette from between his teeth. Smoke plumed through an open window, brought out as if someone in the night had grabbed it.

"And you, wearing out those pretty sneakers."

Tai gave the toes of his shoes a tap. They were oddly immaculate, the whites still white, almost blinding against his dark jeans. Even his school shoes didn't look that nice.

"They were for the party," explained Tai, rubbing the back of his head. He always had a knack for looking sheepish and confident all at once. It was the exact look he'd had on his face when he was with Sora, before Kari had told them Izzy was gone. "Still breakin em in."

Matt watched him for a long moment, waiting.

Tai shoved his hands in his pockets and collapsed against the window frame beside him. "I had this weird dream."

Smoke settled on Matt's tongue. He let it linger while Tai waited for some sort of recognition. It drifted away too soon, escaping in a stream from his lips.

"About?"

"Izzy. It was like a memory from when we were here, or under here, I guess, but it was really weird. He started talking to me."

"Him talking was weird?"

"Not the talking, per se, more like how he talked."

"Like Izzy?"

A short laugh. "It wasn't the geek-speak or anything. It was... we were both kids, but then he was talking, like it was  _now_ , you know?" A bright sneaker thumped against the wall. "It just didn't feel like a memory anymore. I swear he was  _really_  talking to me… like he was asking for help."

Tai let out a long loud groan. "I don't know what to do. I can't even find the hospital…I thought I remembered how to get there but everything just looks...  _off_  to me. And I have no idea how to get to the sewers, we just sorta fell there last time."

"You think Izzy's there?"

"I don't know, I just-I need to do something."

"You should get some sleep."

"Says the insomniac."

Matt sucked down a long breath of smoke. "I'm on watch."

Tai gave a shrug as if he knew better. "How does Sora feel about you smoking those things?"

Ash scattered out the window. "She hasn't said anything."

"To  _you_."

Matt felt his shoulders tense and tried not to picture the two of them together, chastising his new bad habit. "Why are you asking if you already know?"

"Are you sure you want to room with me in college?" asked Tai.

"Don't deflect my question with a question."

"Are you?"

"I don't say yes lightly, Tai."

"I know that." The sneaker gave the wall another thud. "You don't do anything lightly. You feel the full weight of it first… which has got me wondering about some things. Like why you're smoking. It's weird."

Tai's words settled into his lungs. Matt took another drag for effect.

"Have you met my father?"

"Well, yeah, I sorta expect it when you're forty," said Tai. "Or divorced."

Smoke tightened around Matt's heart and came out of him in a round of dry, hacking coughs.

Tai's hand fell on his back. "You okay?"

Matt shook his head as it lowered into his palm. The burning cherry threatened the ends of his hair. It took a few minutes to compose himself.

A smirk softened Tai's cheek. "Killing you already."

Putting the butt of his cigarette out on the windowsill, Matt opened his mouth to speak, but Tai cut him off.

"You know why I asked about Sora," he said. "We're both worried about you. Meaning I'm actually voicing my concern and she's complaining. About your lungs, but we all know what that means."

"Tell her I'm fine."

"You're so not."

Matt pulled his cigarettes from his pocket. "Starting to second guess that roommate request."

"Don't act like you don't love that we care. See! You're blushing. Do those things really help?"

Shrugging, Matt put a fresh one between his teeth. "So, that dream with Izzy… did it feel the same as before?"

"Except the end when he asked for help." Tai turned, just enough to look out the window and Matt could see the way his forehead creased, like he was feeling an old ache. "I'm sick of memories."

Hundreds flashed into Matt's mind: his broken family, the dark cave and Gabumon, Sora in his bed. He struck his lighter.

Tai held out his hand. "Gimme one."

Matt held out the pack.

"What are you doing?"

The jerk of his hand almost sent the cigarettes to the floor. Standing at the top of the stairs was Sora. Her arms crossed under her chest.

Tai instantly yanked his fingers behind his back. "Nothing."

For a brief moment, her eyes flashed to Matt and he wanted to say a hundred words without talking at all.

"If you so much as touch that cigarette, I will murder you both."

Matt shoved them into his pocket and watched as she stormed away, thinking she already had.

...

* * *

...

The television didn't work.

Neither did the Playstation, or the Dreamcast, or his laptop for that matter. His cellphone still sat useless and black like the screen of his D-3. In the dead of the night, without music blaring from his sister's clock radio or the drone of the late show from his parent's room, the apartment was eerily silent.

And Davis had already gone through his entire comic book collection. The pages in the center were all off, words and pictures garbled in the same places as his memory. He almost got up to show Yolei because he knew she'd geek out over it, but decided it wasn't worth the lecture he'd suffer for waking her up. After all, he'd been the one who had whined and moaned about being too sick and tired to search for everyone once that sun had set. So he turned off the light and tried to sleep.

He had been lying there for hours, listening so intently to the sound of his own breaths that it felt hard to breathe, when there was a knock at his bedroom door.

Yolei's voice came through the crack. "Davis…?"

He gave a low groaning, "what?"

The door creaked open and he could see a shadow in the frame.

"Matt is staring at me."

Davis snorted. "Just take him down. Not like Jun's here to mind."

The shadow lingered, silent and shifting. Davis gave another low groan and switched on the light.

They both hissed like vampires in sunlight.

"Too bright," Yolei whined, hiding her face in her oversized t-shirt.

Technically it was  _his_. And it was really weird how lost she looked in it. Davis had always thought of Yolei as "bigger" than him. Though he did have a couple inches on her now. Or maybe just one, but who was counting?

"So, what?" Davis asked, rubbing sleep from his eyes even though he had yet to sleep. "You wanna go check out your place?"

She shook her head and the neck of his shirt fell from her face. "Not in the dark." Her eyes squinted at him.

"You look weird without your glasses." It made her face seem smaller and… less fierce or something.

"Thanks."

"So what do you want?"

Her arms crossed under her chest. "Can I sleep with—in here?"

Davis instantly flushed, unable to break his gaze from the logo on his t-shirt. "Uh… why?"

"Just…" Yolei's bare toes dug into the carpet. "Can I?"

Ripping his eyes away, Davis grumbled, "Fine, you weirdo." He tossed an extra pillow at her and her arms closed too late. It bounced against her middle to the floor.

Yolei sunk into the mess of his room and pulled the pillow against the logo on her chest.

"It's too quiet," she said. "That place really creeped me out. I don't think Izzy's program was supposed to work like that. The way those memories just kept coming…"

Her face sunk into the pillow, muffling her voice. "Everyone left me."

"It wasn't you." Davis pulled his legs over the side of the bed and stared at his plaid pajama pants on her legs. "It was probably 'cause I was pukin. Plus everyone hates me right now."

She mumbled, "no one hates you," into the pillowcase.

"TK and Kari definitely do," he said, watching Yolei's back tremble. "And you'd probably sound more convincing if you weren't cryin."

Caught, she lifted her head and started wiping streams of tears from her cheeks. "It's that time of the month"—a gulping squeak and her face returned to the pillow in shame—"and all I have is toilet paper."

"Gross."

"I had to wrap it around my underwear like a thousand ti—" Yolei stopped and emerged from the pillow to a pile of tampons.

"They're not mine," Davis said before she had a chance to ask.

"What? But why'd you—"

"Prank."

She stared at him.

"Jun used to make me carry them in my pockets for her." He twirled one around his fingers like a baton. "I always forgot they were there. Do you know how much flak I got in the locker room for keeping tampons in my pants?"

Sweeping a hand under her eyes, Yolei said, "That's kinda sweet…"

"I'm taping them all over her posters before she comes home for spring break."

Yolei peered into the drawer of his nightstand and found a least a dozen boxes full.

"I was gonna hang one out of Matt's nose." Davis grabbed a few more and let them rain over Yolei's lilac hair. "Yay tampons."

After she came back from the bathroom and Davis had exhausted all his quips about the menstrual cycle, he offered his bed.

"Just don't bleed on it."

"I'm sure it's seen worse."

When Davis went red, Yolei flicked one of the many tampons still scattered on the floor. "I don't want your nasty fake bed."

"It feels real." Davis gave a little bounce on his rear. "I can sleep in my parent's room. Or you can. Matt-poster free."

"Just sleep in your own stupid bed."

Yolei curled into a ball on the floor, hair splayed over the shoulders of his shirt. Reaching backwards, she managed to snag his bedspread, pulling it halfway off the mattress and onto her side. Davis grumbled and turned off the light.

Sometime in the night Yolei started to cry again. It came in tiny subdued whimpers. When Davis stayed silent, faking sleep, they grew into pathetic sobs.

"Would you just take the bed?" he said after it had gone on for awhile.

The noise stopped and she went very still.

Swinging his legs from under the covers, he gave her back a nudge with his foot. For a minute, she laid there, wiping her face and then, wordlessly, she slumped half her body onto the mattress, backend still hanging off the side.

"What is wrong with you?" Davis asked, scooting sideways.

"Leave me alone." Yolei tugged up her legs until she was splayed like a starfish across the sheets. Her ankle landed on his thigh, causing him to jump up, but the moment he started to leave, her hand encircled his wrist. "Don't go."

"You just said two different things." Davis could tell she was searching his face in the dark and he wondered how much she could see. "Well, which is it?"

"They all left me alone in that place. And you just-"

Davis assumed she was stopping herself from lecturing him and he almost pulled away as retribution, but then she tugged his arm so close his knuckles grazed her damp cheek.

"I don't want to be alone."

"Fine. Alright, I'll stay." Davis gave his hand a feeble pull. "You can let go now."

But she didn't. And then she made room on the bed.

"You're kidding."

Yolei didn't speak and her grip didn't loosen. The silent world echoed the squeak of the mattress as he sat beside her.

"Don't be so weird about it," she mumbled when he stayed still and rigid.

" _You're_  being weird."

She scooted her back into the wall and his wrist went with her until he had no choice but yank her off the bed or lay down before his elbow snapped. Grumbling, he lied on top of the covers and turned away from her before she could make fun of him for blushing even though she was the psycho who wanted to sleep together.

For a long time it was silent. His shoulders tightened with every warm breath on the back of his neck until he was sure he'd developed a permanent knot. He was praying he wouldn't do something gross, like fart or scratch, when he heard her voice, too small and too scared to be Yolei, whisper, "don't leave me" into his hair.

Memories of his childhood spilled over him: crawling into his sister's bed after a bad dream only to be laughed at and kicked out, his father telling him to be a man and go back to his room when he called for his mother, how badly he just didn't want to be alone.

So he told her, "I won't."

After Yolei had finally fallen asleep, Davis tried to imagine it was Veemon warming his back. And then he wondered if maybe he shouldn't, because he had this mental list of things he needed to accomplish in order to consider himself a man.

  * Score a winning goal ✓
  * Beat Tai at soccer ✓ (Cody said Tai let him, but Davis knew better)
  * Win the World Cup (hey, he could dream)
  * Save the world ✓
  * Make world famous ramen (half a check, the world just needed to taste it)
  * Kiss a girl ✓✓
  * Have a girlfriend (did kissing girls count?  He decided he earned one check, half each) ✓
  * Sleep with a girl



Davis turned to his back and fixed his eyes to the ceiling, trying not to notice the heavy ups and downs of Yolei's breath. He wondered for a minute if this counted. Although, to be fair, in his mind he meant  _sleeping with..._ less clothes. Because it wasn't the first time he'd slept with Yolei... or Kari for that matter. Being a digidestined had given him a fair amount of opportunities, even though he had always been far too exhausted or nervous on any of those occasions to think of his list. And there was also that time when the Inoue and Motomiya families got together for New Year's and the kids had all crashed in piles of junk food in I-Mart's stockroom.

But it was certainly the first time Davis had slept with a girl alone. In a bed. His bed.

Long after the sun rose, he was still staring at his ceiling, wishing he could have checked the box off with someone else.

...

* * *

...

He woke exhausted.

Dream after dream after dream until he was sure his mind couldn't handle any more. All memories, twisted and forced.

It made Izzy wonder if he had ever been sleeping at all.

Shackles still clung to his sore wrists. His arms ached. And something beside him was moving.

He could hear it, a scraping click pacing the floor. But it was so dark, not even an shadowy outline could tell him it's exact location.

"Fascinating," said a deep harsh voice. "That a human could be the source of such a unique tool of creation." The clicking resumed. " This thing… it speaks to your power of knowledge. I have always admired the power of the digdestined."

"Wh—" Izzy had to swallow, voice sticky from lack of use. "Why are you keeping me like this?"

A low chuckle returned to him. "Because like this, all you have are memories."

"The program can be utilized by anyone," Izzy said. "You can use your own memories."

There was a choking sound-a short scoff. "We both know the memories of one mind cannot fill an entire world."

"The program isn't ready. There'll be glitches," Izzy said, trying to keep the desperation from his voice as he twisted his bound arms. "I can fix it. You don't have to keep me like a prisoner. Please."

"I'm afraid that would interfere. You see, I have other plans and… others."

"Tentomon will find me," Izzy said, unsure how else to respond. "He won't give up until I'm safe."

"Oh, he is welcome." Claws scraped beside Izzy's shackles and hot breath blew against his cheek.

"As is all fodder for my world."

...

* * *

...

Things had gotten awkward.

And after it had gone on awhile, Cody found himself wishing he hadn't chased after the light with Joe and Mimi.

It wasn't that he didn't like his predecessor or the bubbly bearer of Sincerity. He just felt left out. And that wasn't because they were exclusive. In fact, they both made every effort to talk with him as they hiked through the deserted forest. Maybe that was what clued him in. They were trying too hard.

He could tell the dynamic of their trio had changed overnight. Joe and Mimi were two of the original chosen children; they fought battles when he was still in preschool. But ever since he woke up that morning he could tell something else bonded them together. Yesterday, Mimi had been flirting relentlessly. Now her and Joe kept each other at a distance, putting Cody in the middle. Cody felt like a third wheel.

He also felt guilty for leaving Yolei alone. Despite the fact that she was three years his senior, he had always taken it upon himself to look after her. He was the calm to her panic. He could only imagine how she'd reacted when they never came back.

Cody wondered if she was here, trapped inside Izzy's computer program or if she was in some other world. Either way, he hoped that Davis was sober by now. He tended to make Yolei mad enough not to panic.

They had been walking along winding paths in the forest for hours, stopping occasionally so Mimi could rest her feet. Blisters had formed from her heels which she now carried in her hands.

Her sweet voice pulled him from his thoughts. "Are you okay, Cody?"

"I'm just thinking about Yolei and Davis."

She looked to Joe. Cody could tell his words had upset her.

"Don't worry, Mimi," Joe said. "They've both been in the digital world on their own before. They can handle themselves until we find them again."

"I'm more concerned about them handling each other," Cody said.

Mimi instantly brightened. "I'm sure they're doing just fine."

Both Joe and Cody looked at her in disbelief.

"Maybe you  _have_ been gone too long, Mimi," Joe replied. "We have to pry those two apart with a crowbar when they go at it."

Mimi erupted into a fit of giggles.

Joe went pink. "You know what I mean," he stammered.

Still laughing, Mimi wiped giddy tears from her eyes. "The sexual tension is real!"

Cody cleared his throat in disagreement, recalling a million memories of Yolei (usually changing into various outfits and asking his opinion) and all of them revolving around Ken.

"Ohhhh, Cody's got the dirty details," Mimi said. "Spill."

He shook his head. "I don't think Yolei is interested in Davis."

"Or vice versa," said Joe. "I'm not even in high school anymore and I still get to hear all about the drama."

"I'm not even in the country anymore and I probably know more than you do," said Mimi, shaking her hips a little as she stepped daintily over an oversized root. "And I still say I'm right."

Cody thought of the way everyone was slowly drifting apart. "Things would be a lot easier if we would just stop dating each other."

Mimi immediately stopped and turned on him. "That's stupid."

"Mimi," Joe began, but she put her foot down.

"You don't just  _not_ do something because it's hard or inconvenient," she said. "And you don't give up just because you made a mistake."

"I'm sorry," Cody said. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Mimi softened. "We've been through a lot together. I know that doesn't automatically make us compatible, but it makes us close." She seemed to swallow a bit and she looked away.

"I don't feel close to anyone anymore," said Cody.

Before he could move, Mimi had grabbed him into a tight squeeze. Now that he'd grown, they were the same height, but he felt like a child in her embrace. She let him go without saying anything else and her head seemed to hang low when they continued silent in the silent world.

They walked for quite some time before it was broken.

"Oh, thank God!" Mimi squealed. "I love Digiworld."

A vending machine was just ahead, nestled between a couple of trees. Cody's stomach suddenly growled at the prospect of food. He hadn't even realized he was hungry.

Mimi pranced up to the machine and examined its contents.

"I'm sorry about that," Joe said under his breath to Cody. "She can be… sensitive."

Cody shook his head. "I shouldn't have said anything."

Mimi turned around. "Joe?" They both looked like they had been caught when Mimi wiggled her hips, almost in a dance. "You don't happen to have any digi-dollars do you?"

Joe pulled the foreign currency out of his bag of tricks and handed it to her. Mimi immediately kissed him, square on the lips.

Cody averted his eyes, but it was so innocent that by the time he had looked away it was over and Mimi was happily picking out her snack. Joe looked like he was going to try to explain, but only ended up stammering.

Mimi saved him from further embarrassment and handed both boys some Pocky. Sitting on a rock, she popped one in her mouth and rested her sore feet while Cody helped Joe buy more snacks to add to his bag of supplies.

They continued their search through the woods, passing various road signs and munching on snacks in silence. Cody felt heavy. He barely noticed as they came to the end of the world.

...

* * *

...

"Maybe we should leave the city."

"We're not leaving."

It bothered Sora how well she could read them: that the passive-aggressive tone creeping into Matt's voice was really empathetic frustration, and the way Tai snapped back really just meant he had no clue what to do. She wondered if they'd always sound the same and if there would be a day when someone else would be the one to notice.

It was one of many reasons she was considering going to college somewhere else. Because even after breaking up with Matt, she still felt stuck between them.

Through no fault of their own.

It's not like they asked her to hover over them like a mother hen their whole childhoods.  _She_  was the one who felt the need to make sure Matt remembered to eat before a concert or a visit with his mother. And Sora had volunteered  _herself_  to act as a third alarm whenever Tai pity-slept after losing a game (the order went clock, Kari, her).

After all, they only might starve or have to repeat their senior year without her.

It was all their fault.

Sora had stuck by Ken's side since they had started searching Machinedramon's city. She was determined not to intervene in the passive aggressive snappy dialogue, even if it killed her.

Ken was politely quiet, only making small talk when it was appropriate and walking in comfortable silence beside her. Sora did, however, notice the stress lines wrinkling across his forehead and almost asked him what was wrong until she remembered she was supposed to stop being a mother.

Behind them, TK and Kari walked with a just enough space to fit another human between them. Their occasional comments about the city died out with time. It took every ounce of willpower Sora had to keep from trying to break the line of palpable tension that swung between their hands.

Was she really such a meddler?

She pouted. No, she wasn't a meddler. She was a caretaker, a peacemaker. This group needed a mom.

_Well, that's stupid._

Cursing Mimi's voice in her head, Sora took to watching Matt's back: the tension in his shoulders and the way blonde hairs came to a subtle point just above the collar of his shirt. He let out an audible puff of air and Sora had to look at her feet to avoid noticing.

It was in that moment that she almost walked into Tai's back.

He was squatting beside a manhole cover and he paused to give her a long look before calling, "TK, help me out with this, will you?"

"Sure."

Matt frowned at his brother as he scurried to Tai's side like he had been called by his commanding officer.

"Do you really think we're going to find Izzy down there?" Matt asked.

"I don't know," grunted Tai as they team-lifted the heavy cover from the street. It scraped against the asphalt and rung loudly through the empty city. "But I gotta go with my gut."

"You're trusting your gut on an empty stomach?"

Laughing, Tai pressed a hand to his middle. "Shut up."

It was the subtle smile on Matt's face that said he knew he had broken through.

They had been pacing the city for hours, looking for the hospital, an entrance underground, anything besides facing the dessert. It was probably a good thing. Without Kabuterimon to fly them over it, they could be stuck out there for days. Tai had an edge to him the entire time, a sort of anxious stiffness to his gait, accentuated by Kari's silence.

"To be honest," Tai said, swinging his legs into the manhole, "I'm lost without Izzy. My memory of this place is one big blur." He gazed at Kari and her lips pursed, annoyed at his hovering.

Sora interceded. "We're all lost without Izzy."

When Tai's sad smile met her, she noticed Matt's fade.

TK gave a commiseratory nod. "I can't even remember my own memory."

Laughing again, Tai lowered himself into the manhole and Sora watched the darkness swallow him whole.

...

* * *

...

The morning was strange.

Yolei had woken up stiff. Her body stayed unconsciously still through the night, trying to take up as little room as possible. One leg was asleep and she gave it a little shake only to find Davis's calf weighing it down. He gave a groan beside her, burying his face in his pillow and Yolei suddenly noticed his hand was wedged under her stomach, right below her boob.

She shot up, remembering the night and all that had led up to it like a disjointed dream. Ugh, Davis was never going to let her live this down… then on second thought, he'd probably be too embarrassed to tell anyone she had coerced him into bed with her.

She sure was.

A low snore rumbled beside her and, ignoring the pins and needles running down her leg, Yolei shook his off. When Davis still didn't wake, she planned out her next course of action, because things were already awkward enough without them waking up in bed together.

Cursing his tiny room and the wall blocking her in, Yolei got on her hands and knees and the frame creaked beneath her. Her bum leg stretched over Davis's backend and she carefully snuck a hand around his shoulder, gripping the edge of the mattress. Then, the moment she tried to put weight on her sleeping leg, it went out and her other knee slammed right into Davis's butt.

In a dream-like stupor, Davis snapped to his side and his elbow caught Yolei in the ribs. She grabbed the back of his shirt as she fell sideways, taking him down with her.

They landed in a heap on the floor and it took Yolei crying, "OWWWWW! Ow, ow, ow, OW!" for Davis to come to enough to roll off her.

"What the hell?" he groaned, rubbing his tailbone, still not quite there. "Why does my ass hurt?"

Pushing off the ground, Yolei squealed, "You just hit me!"

"I did not! OW!" He covered his face when another palm wailed into him. "Damnit, Yolei!"

She gave him an angry shove for good measure. Then, holding her side, she hobbled to her feet. "Remind me never to sleep with you again."

He looked offended. "What'd I do?"

"You elbowed me!"

"That's it?"

"What do you mean,  _'that's it_ '?"

"Just makin' sure."

"I'm not even going to ask."

"Good." The heel of his palm rubbed his eyes as he found the clock. "Ugh..."

Yolei hobbled to his window and pushed her fingers through the blinds. A sky of grey lit the silent world, drowning in rain.

"Well," she sighed, "it's morning."

"Great…"

They spent the rest of their time in the Motomiya apartment packing. A horde of tampons weighed down Davis's backpack, just in case.

"Do we really have to walk all the way to your house?" Davis whined once they'd made it outside.

"I need clothes," Yolei said, tugging at the miniskirt she'd worn the day before. She sort of missed his baggy pajamas.

She looked around the dead city streets, feeling the chill of the rain pouring around her umbrella. Cars were parked on the curb, but not one was moving. " I don't think we're catching the bus. This is so creepy."

"Let's drive," Davis said, wiping water from a car window. His mouth broke into a wide toothy grin. "Yolei, look. I remembered keys."

"What?" Yolei bent over beside him and sure enough, she could see keys hanging out of the ignition. "Okay, this program obviously takes into account wishful thinking."

"Score. Maybe we'll find a million bucks in the gutter."

"Why the gutter?"

"You don't have that dream?"

Davis insisted on driving even though Yolei was the only one of them who'd taken Driver's Ed. "It's not like I can crash into anyone," he said before proceeding to jolt them forward at a million miles an hour.

"Less gas!" Yolei shrieked and then, "Use your windshield wipers!"

He literally bent in half, head hanging below the steering wheel. "Where they at?"

"Omigod, we're going to die!"

Water splashed up the side of her window and the car swerved sideways.

"Found 'em!"

"Look at the road!"

"Relax, I got this."

"If you don't slow down, I'm going to kill you!"

He actually had the nerve to accelerate even more.

The rest of the ride consisted of them screaming at eachother and hard braking around every turn. Yolei was sure her breakfast was going to make a comeback and she usually didn't get carsick. So when she saw her apartment complex, she shouted, "This is it!" with such relief and authority that Davis turned too sharp, too fast.

Yolei went for the steering wheel.

They slammed right into a streetlight.

The car hissed and Davis's grin broke through her cracked lens. "That was awesome."

Yolei glared. "I hate you."

After popping open an umbrella (in the closed car like an idiot), Davis squeezed through the door to survey the damage. Yolei took a minute to catch her breath before joining him.

The entire front bumper was hanging from the frame.

"Yikes," he said.

"I'm driving next time."

Davis laughed, looking so damn tired and cheerful at once that Yolei had to resist the urge to punch him.

"I like you better when you're hungover," she said.

"I like you better when you're not PMSing."

The rain was so heavy against their umbrella it almost sounded like hail. Yolei pulled her sweater tight. The apartments were as dead as the rest of the world. They came to a stop outside her door, her hand hesitating on the knob.

"What if you didn't remember?"

"Of course I remember. I've been to your house a zillion times."

Yolei took a deep breath and prepared for the worst. Her front door swung open and everything was almost the same. Except the lamp was the wrong shade of red and the art on the wall looked like a mad splash of color.

"Hey," Davis giggled, "pigs."

Yolei found the pink slippers by her feet. The rest of her family's shoes were gone. For a wishful second, she imagined her parents hiding out in her room, where they'd yell surprise and tell her everything was one huge elaborate hoax they'd pulled just to prank her… until she remembered she wasn't that important.

Yolei pulled off her heels and slipped on the little pigs while Davis made himself at home on her couch, kicking his sneakers onto the coffee table.

"Your shoes," she scolded.

"Not your real house."

With a huff, she stormed past him, making sure to give him a nice flick in the ear on her way. It gave her an odd sense of satisfaction to hear him whine all the way to her room.

Inside, her bed was in tact, complete with stuffed animals and Poromon's sleeping basket. She should have come home to sleep. It would certainly beat Matt's creepy stare and getting bruised in the ribs.

Except for the quiet. Even after Mantarou and Momoe went off to college, the house was still chaotic: her parents and Chizuru were always going in and out between shifts at I-Mart. Yolei still had a hard time getting a word in with them about anything else.

After Chizuru leaves, Yolei would have her parents to herself. And then they'd probably try to convince her to work at I-Mart for a living. At least then they'd have some benefit to having a woops baby.

Yolei collapsed onto her bedspread, rubbing fingers under her glasses.

"You dressed yet?" Davis asked from down the hall.

"I've been in here for two seconds," she snapped and then, rolling her head to the side, she stifled a scream. Her hand lashed out, knocking the picture frame on her nightstand to the floor.

"What was that?!"

Yolei was hanging over the side of the bed, picking up the broken shards of glass when Davis bust in.

"Didn't you hear me?" he asked, sounding frustrated. "What happened?"

She looked up at him, anger swelling at the only living thing she could direct it at. "This is your fault."

She shoved the shredded picture into his hand. The faces of her family were twisted: inhuman blobs molded in unknowable positions. She couldn't even tell who was who.

"How is this my fault?"

Yolei jumped to her feet and started pulling open dresser drawers, all empty. Her eyelids burned.

"You and your stupid memory! Everything's wrong. Everyone's gone. I want my family back! I want my clothes back! I want to go home! I hate this stupid program and this stupid place!"

Cursing herself for sounding four, Yolei shoved past him and into the hallway, beelining for the door.

"Where you goin?"

"Cody's!"

Ignoring Davis grumbling at her heels, Yolei headed out in her pig slippers, turned right and marched three apartments down. Out of habit, she knocked. When no one answered she tried the knob.

The door opened to a world of black.


	8. Gathered

Sometimes I wonder if the only way I can keep it together is by keeping everyone else.

Keeping them happy, whole, safe. Sane.

I used to think I liked to mother because I wanted to be one. I still remember when I tried to be just like my mom, setting the table perfectly when Dad finally visited for dinner. Worrying that when he left it was because I hadn’t done things just right.

Now I wonder if it’s because when you’re busy fixing everyone else, it’s easy to forget how broken you are.

When I sit still, the doubts come crashing in. And here, in the darkness, it’s hard to see anything else.

* * *

**Chapter** **Eight** **  
** **Gathered**

* * *

 

When the light pierced the darkness, his mind felt like an old storage closet: one he kept with a key. The door was broken in and a thief rummaged through the memories that had been stored there so meticulously. He could feel everything: his life being picked up and tossed aside, until only one memory lingered. Like a dream, it faded into existence until it was as clear as the day he had lived it.

The smell of flowers is strong.

.~*~~**~~*~.

“Is there a particular variety you're looking for?”

Sora’s hands are busy trimming the thorns off roses and her smile stays kind and motherly when I don't answer. She is one of the few people who don’t seem bothered when I become silently contemplative.

“Well, last year you got a bouquet of wildflowers, right Cody? Maybe we should change it up this time. Does your mom like daisies?”

Yolei, on the other hand, seems to think it her duty to fill the natural breaks of conversation. I wonder sometimes if she's afraid not to talk because the silence is so loud. Both Upamon and Poromon peek out of an enormous shopping bag strung around her shoulder, staring in awe at the flowers, cascading from shelves and brightening every dark corner.

I shake my head.

Sora waits patiently while I look over the different arrangements in her mother’s shop. The digimon are oohing and ahhing over every bouquet Yolei models with, assuring her that, yes, someday somebody will definitely surprise her with one.

I come to a stop in front of a display of white. “What are these?”

“Easter lilies,” Sora says. “They’re native to Japan, but in the west they’re associated with the resurrection of Christ. Or more commonly, hope and purity for the dead.”

The delicate white flowers glow between all the colorful arrangements.

“They’re beautiful!” squeals Upamon, bouncing in the bag.

“You’re going to take my arm off!” Yolei scolds.

“I’ll take them,” I say.

Sora smiles and grabs the lilies from the display, wrapping them with caring hands.

“They’re perfect,” says Yolei.

Sora waves when we exit the flower shop. She had only complimented my choice, no attempt at words of consolation. I prefer it that way. As we make our their way down the sidewalk, a warm summer breeze causes the petals to dance in my arms.

“Hey Yolei! Cody!”

Davis’s energetic voice buzzes at us from across the street. One arm is waving wildly, his other clenched around a soccer ball. There’s a duffle bag hanging off his shoulder and TK and Kari are at his back, arms strung with I-Mart bags. They wait for a halt in traffic to join us.

“I thought you were workin today,” Davis says to Yolei. “Was totally bankin on that discount. Your parents sure are stingy. ”

“No kidding,” she sighs. “I was helping Cody.”

“Oh?” Davis’s eyes shoot to my arms and a grin stretches across his face. “No way. You don’t have a girlfriend, do you?”

Yolei pinches his arm and if it were any other day, I would have laughed.

“Ouch! The hell was that for?”

Kari smiles at me. “They’re for your father, right?”

Davis looks mortified even though there is no reason he should have known.

I give a nod. “It’s his meinichi.”

A pair of small red eyes poke out of Davis’s bag. “What’s a menchi?” chirps Demiveemon.

The bag gives a violent shift on Davis’s shoulder.

“You’re stepping on my tail!” Gatomon yells.

“And my ear!” squeaks Patamon.

“Hey, knock it off! You guys are heavy enough as it is,” Davis says with a grimace.

“It’s the anniversary of someone’s death,” I explain to the duffle bag and it goes very still.

TK looks at me, a serious softness taking over his eyes. “Would you like us to come with you?”

His kindness moves me, but I shake my head. “I wouldn’t want to trouble you.”

“We were just going to hang out in the park,” Kari says, lifting up a grocery bag. “Davis and Demiveemon insisted we bring snacks.”

The mention of food makes Davis forget his embarrassment. “Who wants to spend the day at the park without something to eat? All this fresh air makes me hungry!”

“Me too!” cries the voice inside his bag.

“We brought enough to feed an army,” TK says. “But it still might not be enough for the two of them.”

Davis eyes the groceries. “You’re probably right.”

The group chuckles and I hate that I’m always the morbid one.

“I should go,” I say, making it clear to Yolei that she’s free to go with them if she’d like. “I’m meeting my mother and grandfather at the cemetery.”

“The park can wait,” says Kari. “Would it be alright if we joined you? I’d like to pay my respects.”

I meet her kind eyes, honored by her words. “Yes.”

My mother and grandfather are waiting at the entrance to the cemetery. Mom is holding Buddhist prayer beads and incense and Grandpa has a fresh bottle of sake and two glasses.

“Hello Mrs. Hida,” Yolei says respectfully and a little more brightly, “Grandpa Hida” and my grandfather gives her a gentle tap on the shoulder. She’s been my neighbor for years and we became friends not long after my father passed. Grandpa’s sort of adopted her.

The rest of my friends bow politely. Davis seems to be the only uncomfortable one, shifting from side to side and eying the tall gravestones with suspicion. I wonder if the others are used to graveyards or if they’re just better at hiding their emotions.

“The flowers are beautiful, Cody,” my mother says.

Yolei’s bag wiggles in delight and she gives it a warning shake. I hand the flowers to her and grab a bucket from the cemetery entrance, filling it with water.

We walk to my father’s grave.

It stands tall, my name and my mother’s written in red beneath the name Hida Hiroaki. Somehow, in this moment, it’s the first time I feel like a survivor.

I remove the old offerings of incense and flowers from the grave and begin to wash the stone. The others remain silent. When I’m done, Yolei hands me the bouquet. I lay the flowers down while my mother lights incense and kneels with her prayer beads. She begins to recite a sutra while my grandfather shares a sake with his lost son, pouring the drink into the earth.

The sutra is soothing and a warm breeze passes through the cemetery, playing with the lilies, making them come to life upon the grave. Then my mother stands, wiping tears from her eyes.

Kari is the first to speak, bowing to the tombstone. “Thank you for your service, Hida-sama.”

The rest of my friends echo her sentiments and I have to wipe away my own tears when the lilies dance with pride.

_.~*~~**~~*~._

The flowers were still there, fresh and swaying in the breeze. Cody’s eyes stung as he stared at them. It had been nearly four years since he had chosen the Easter lilies to adorn his father’s grave. Now they stood before him once again, resurrected.

“We’re back!” Mimi cried.

Out of the corner of his eye, Cody saw Joe give her hand a gentle squeeze. She immediately silenced when she noticed the name on the tombstone.

Eyes blinking back tears, Cody knelt and stared as the last of the incense burned away. Someone had lit it only minutes before, but the cemetery was abandoned. His father’s resting place was the only one with visitors. Even the streets nearby were still and free from life.

The red letters of his name beneath his father’s glared at him now. He was his only son, his survivor. Sometimes Cody felt like he had never had a father. The memories after his death were always more vivid in Cody’s mind than those of his life. What he did remember of his father only made his death harder to bear.

Hiroki had been full of joy and laughter, accepting of all those around him. In his last moments, he had been a hero. Cody remembered smiling more before.

It was his father’s piggy back rides and funny faces that caused him to gurgle with laughter as a toddler, the stories of police chases that made Cody remember his father’s sense of justice as he watched him, wide-eyed with wonder.

When Hiroki was shot, Cody’s dominant genes prevailed; he had always been more like his mother. She was loving, but she had always been the serious one, traditional and stoic. Cody found himself smiling less. As he stared at the gravestone, he found himself wishing he had more of his father in him.

He stood, staring at the Easter lilies.

Joe murmured a short prayer. When he was finished, Cody gave him a grateful bow. “Thank you, Joe.”

He nodded. “Of course.”

Mimi visibly shivered in the warm summer air. “This isn’t really home, is it?”

“No, this is my memory.”

* * *

 

_.~*~~**~~*~._

When I step through the door, I can still feel Tai’s hands on my back. Even through the thick of my coat, his fingertips leave an impression in my skin. Walking away from him feels like leaving home.

Warm air from the heater gusts against my face and I try to stop shivering, telling myself it’s only from the cold. The noise of tuning instruments screeches down the dim lit hallway Gabumon leads me through. He keeps turning back to stare at the box in my hands and he’s drooling like a dog by the time we catch sight of Matt’s band. I stop, wondering if the expression, ‘your heart bursting from your chest’ might have some validity to it.

“Sora…” Biyomon gives me a nudge with her beak. “You made it this far.”

My knuckles have gone white. “Not without you.”

Curtains hang between _The Teenage Wolves_ and the stadium in rows, framing them in red. The roar of the crowd beyond starts to grow loud enough to drown out their instruments. Their guitarist, Yutaka, stops midstrum to plug in and notices me around the curtain. Biyomon and Gabumon dive behind a set of speakers.

“Woah! No way, Sora’s got food!” he calls and the tuning stops, leaving only the sound of the crowd.

My usual smile has slipped somewhere else and I’m so flustered, I almost give the present to Yutaka until I see Matt turn my direction. He smiles in a way that only Matt can, with no other motive, and my chest _does_ almost burst when I realize it’s for me.

“Hey, Sora,” he says, putting his bass on a stand.

“Hi, Matt.” I’m mumbling like a child being forced to greet a grown-up for the first time. My thumbs scrape across the box. “I made these for—”

“MATT!” Jun Motomiya skids backstage, stopping him before he can come any closer. I feel awkward and grateful, all at once. She holds out a huge gift, wrapped with an enormous bow. It makes my small box look pathetic.

“I got you a present!” She hands it to him and his lips are so tight I can tell he’s trying not to frown. “You are amazing! The crowd is amazing, this concert is going to be amazing!”

“Uh… thanks…” he says and then, meeting my eyes over Jun’s shoulder, he mouths an apology.

Jun blocks his line of sight. “I’m free after,” she says, a low tone in her voice that makes me uncomfortable.

I step back out of instinct, as if my body was already preparing for flight. Matt and Jun disappear behind the red curtain and I start to breathe a sigh of relief when something bumps against my calf.

Biyomon glares up at me, shaking her pink feathered head. “Oh no you don’t, Sora. I didn’t wait outside that door with you in the cold for nothing. You better give those cookies to Matt!”

Gabumon nods, but adds, “Unless you’d rather give them to me.”

“Actually Jun, I already have plans,” I hear Matt say.

“What?! But you still owe me another date!”

“I can’t.” He’s firm this time. “You should probably find your seat. We’re going on soon.”

“Oh okay! I’ll call you later and we’ll pick a time for our date then! Break a leg!” Jun squeals without giving pause for a response. She rushes past me, giggling, and hot jealousy rushes through me in a way it never has before.

“Man, that girl can’t take a hint!” Yutaka laughs.

I’m so busy glaring at Jun that I don’t notice Matt until his hand touches my back. He must feel me startle, because he quickly shoves it in his pocket and we both turn pink.

“Sora brought you cookies!” Gabumon hisses from hiding.

I pull the box from my chest and I hope he doesn’t notice it shaking when he takes it. “I made them for you. Merry Christmas.”

“Thanks,” he says and he looks so awkward and adorable when he’s blushing that I go warm all over. “That was really sweet of you.”

“You have plans after the concert?” I ask.

He chuckles, shaking his head. “That was just to get Jun off my back.” He chews on his bottom lip for a second, and it still amazes me how shy he is when he has a million girls outside calling his name. “Did you want to do something?”

“Sure,” I say, wishing I had some sort of plan beyond this, but all Biyomon and I had worked out was getting him the cookies. Luckily I’m saved by someone calling from the stage.

“Matt, they’re opening the curtains in two minutes!”

Matt hands the cookies to Gabumon. “Don’t eat them without me.” Then he’s beside me and I start to tell him ‘good luck’, but he cuts me off with his mouth, a gentle press on my lips and I suddenly can’t tell if it’s me shaking or him.

I explode and fall to the floor in pieces.

“I’m sorry I didn’t bring your present,” he mumbles as soon as he pulls away, as if that somehow explains his actions. He seems as surprised as I do. His pale skin has gone blotchy, all the way up to his ears.

I assure him it’s okay, even though I’m sure my mouth has disintegrated.

“I’ll see you after?”

When I nod, he looks relieved, and then he starts pouting when his bandmates hassle him with whistles.

It takes me a minute to pick all of my pieces off the floor.

“He must really like cookies!” Biyomon says when I return to her and I keep glancing back, not sure if after falling apart, my legs will hold.

Gabumon reluctantly places the gift by Matt’s guitar case. “We better hurry before we miss the opening.”

The digimon lead me to my seat, because without them grounding me, I’m pretty sure I’d melt through the floor or float through the ceiling.

Tai and the others are waiting for us and he looks at me with such a carefree expression that my heart sinks back to reality.

“Wish Matt luck for us?” he asks, giving Agumon an affectionate rub before grinning at me. “He’s been freakin out since this is like, their first big thing even though he tries to act all Mr. Cool about it.”

Suddenly I’m not sure what I’ve done, because Tai looks the same and my legs are still solid.

I give a nod. My voice is stuck even though I feel like there are a hundred things I should explain, but Tai shoves his hands in his pockets and starts talking to Izzy and acting like nothing has changed even though everything has.

The curtains draw back and the crowd erupts in cheers. Matt’s voice echoes into the microphone and I wonder how it is, that after kissing him, he seems so far away.

_.~*~~**~~*~._

 

The concert hall stood silent, the stands and stage the same they had been before the tyrannamon had destroyed them that night. The venue had been torn down not long after, when the owners discovered that mysterious monster attacks weren’t covered by their insurance.

“Holy shhh…” Tai collapsed in one of the seats. His hand grasped his chest. “I thought I fell down the manhole and died.” He looked up at TK, who stood in shock beside him. “I’m not dead, am I?”

“I don’t think so,” TK said.

Sora took a long, deep breath and tried to quell the shaking in her hands.

“Isn’t this the old Soundstage?” Kari asked.

“Yeah,” said Matt, “it is.”

Sora couldn’t help but stare at him and, sensing it, he met her gaze. If she didn’t know him so well she might have been shocked by the cold in his eyes, the way he iced over when he hurt. And if she didn’t still feel the memory of his lips, she wondered if she’d feel so hot and cold, all at once.

Ken’s voice broke through her gaze.

“This must be another memory,” he said. He had sat down in the chair beside her, fingers pressed to his temple.

“I think it’s mine,” Sora mumbled and when she turned to Matt again, she found him looking at the stage. Relief flooded out in one big breath and then her heart sank, burning in her stomach.

“This is bad,” Ken admitted.

“Wait, why?” asked Tai, still clutching his chest. “I mean besides the obvious.”

“This isn’t how Izzy’s program was supposed to work,” Ken said, leaning forward, elbows digging into his knees. “It should have collected all the data it needed and used the information to build a world through code. But that’s not what it’s doing.

“It’s building the world while we’re in it.”

Matt thudded down the steps toward the stage and TK followed suit, diverting at an emergency exit to peer out the door. A gush of cold air spread into the stands.

“It’s just like Machinedramon’s city,” TK said. “Empty.”

“We’re in an incomplete world built by an incomplete program,” Ken said when Tai moved to join TK by the door. “All based on memory: one of the most fallible parts of the human mind. My guess is the program is searching for information where it can’t get any. So when we reached a gap in TK’s memory it looked for a new source. And we should expect the same when we reach a gap in Sora’s.”

“But why mine?” Sora asked when Matt disappeared backstage. “Why TK? Is it random?”

Ken shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe.”

“You don’t sound like you believe that,” TK said when the door shut. “What do you think it is?”

“Someone has to run the program.” Ken took a long time to continue, gazing at his clenched hands. “In theory, Izzy would have had to attach it to a host.”

Tai gave a shudder. “Gross.”

“It’s similar to the way neurologists measure brainwaves.”

“But did you have to say ‘host’?”

Ken gave a light chuckle that didn’t meet his eyes.

Sora suddenly felt violated. “So someone is getting access to our memories without physically hooking us up to anything?”

Ken didn’t have an answer.

“Do you think it’s making more than one world at once?” Kari asked.

“I doubt it,” Ken said. “The intent was to create a world of renewable resources, somewhere we could even settle if our world was ever depleted of them.”

“Geez,” said Tai. “Izzy didn’t make it sound that impressive when he explained it to me. I can’t believe that’s what he’s been doing.”

“And mostly by himself,” Ken said. “He’d been trying to get funding from the government so he could have other programmers help him work out the kinks, but they didn’t take him seriously. No one wants to remember that other worlds exist.”

Tai gave a huff of agreement when Matt emerged from backstage, holding an unwrapped cookie tin in his hand.

Sora’s heart stopped.

“Does that mean the others are here?” Kari asked.

“I hope so.”

“Then let’s get looking. For Izzy too,” Tai said, moving to Matt to check out the tin. After giving it a thorough inspection, he looked over her shoulder at Ken, as if a thought caught him off guard. “He’s gotta be here too, right?”

Ken had gone silent again and Sora sunk to the seat beside him, watching Matt open the tin and offer it to Tai.

“Thank God. Food,” Tai moaned. “Kari!”

Kari went over as told, even though she looked annoyed at being fussed over, and took a cookie. Two went into Tai’s mouth.

Sora went red all over. When everyone had grabbed their fill, Matt walked over, offering one to Ken and finally, to her. Tears pricked her lids. He stood so close she swore she could feel the weight of him.

His boots wavered on the floor while she whispered, “Thank you.”

The cookie was covered with pink frosting, cut perfectly into the shape of a heart. She choked out a laugh.

“Whasofumy?” asked Tai, spitting crumbs when Matt took a seat beside her, closing the lid.

“Nothing.”

Sora took a bite of the cookie, breaking it in half.

* * *

_.~*~~**~~*~._

I think this might be paradise.

Hot sand soaking through my towel, saltwater drying on my skin, the sound of waves and digimon playing. If I lay out for awhile, I can get a nice tan before school starts. I am so ready: new school, new tan, new boys. I sigh and pull my arms under my head like a pillow, letting my eyes slip closed.

Why can’t Digiworld always be like this?

A loud thud sends me reeling the moment I start to drift off. I flip to my back to find Davis half buried in the cooler, shoving ice around like he’s digging for buried treasure. He emerges with a frown.

“Don’t we got anything ‘sides diet drinks in here?”

I glare at him before I realize he can’t see my eyes.

Veemon, always determined to please, gives the cooler a second look. He digs so deep that he falls in and squeals.

So much for peaceful.

After a small scuffle in the ice, he shoots out of the cooler, sharp teeth chattering. “That’s cold!”

“Ice usually is,” Davis chuckles, standing up. “You didn’t happen to see anything good while you were down there, did ya?”

Veemon shakes his head. “Not unless you like prunes.” His dragon tongue rolls between sharp teeth. “Last time I drank that stuff I was in the bathroom all night.”

Davis laughs. “That’s cause you drank a whole gallon of it.” He turns around and I realize in the chaos that Ken and Wormmon have followed him over. Ken’s already pulled on a shirt before I can get a good look at him topless.

“You do diet?” Davis asks them. He holds up two cans, nose wrinkling.

“Diet’s fine,” Ken says and Wormmon agrees.

The cans fly through the air and Ken stops buttoning his shirt to catch them. He somehow gets them both and hands one over to his partner. I’m trying hard not to ogle.

“Man, Yolei, couldn’t you bring anything else to drink ‘sides diet soda and prune juice? This sucks!”

Davis’s voice feels like nails on a chalkboard. I pull my sunglasses down so I can glare properly.

“I didn’t hear you volunteering to buy the snacks,” I huff.

“You own a grocery store.”

“My parents do,” I say, trying not to sound too bitter. “And they only give me discounts on overstock stuff. I’m not trying to spend all my money feeding your fat face. ”

“Your parents suck.”

If it was someone else, I would have agreed, because yes, to a degree, my parents do suck, especially when it comes to their baby store, but it’s Davis and he’s already ruined my zen enough as it is.

“You suck,” I say, because sadly, that’s the best I’ve got. I’m too mad to think of anything else.

Davis shrugs and sucks down the diet soda like he’s proving a point. I’m glad when he emerges, grimacing over the taste. He lets out a loud belch.

“Gross.”

“No, _this_ is gross. Be better off drinkin saltwater.”

“You do that then.”

Davis gives the diet soda another slurp and still comes up making a face. “Yep, ocean definitely tastes better.”

Veemon smacks the can out of his hand. It lands in the sand, fizz bubbling into the grains.

We stare at it for a moment, before Davis responds, “The hell, Vee?”

“If that’s worse than the ocean it might be dangerous. Saltwater’ll kill ya.”

Davis looks at me. “You really think Yolei’s tryin to kill us?”

I roll my eyes. “You two are ridiculous.”

“Maybe,” answers Veemon.

I throw a sandal at him and he takes off toward the water. Davis follows when I threaten him with the other one.

Ken is laughing, and if he weren’t so cute, I’d probably stay angry, but it’s hard when he’s there and we’re alone (sort of) to care about how stupid Veemon and Davis are.

“He has got to be the most ungrateful…” I mutter before admitting to myself that maybe I am still mad. A little. Ken’s laughter has faded into a warm smile and it takes the last of the fire out of me.

“He doesn’t always think before he speaks,” Ken says, settling down on a beach towel beside me. He reaches over to help Wormmon, who’s struggling with the tab on his can. The soda pops open and the digimon chugs away, content.

Ken is gorgeous.

It’s sort of hard being friends with someone so pretty and not stare. Beads of water roll down his chest, dampening his button up that I’m so glad he stopped buttoning.

“I don’t think he meant to hurt your feelings.”

“Huh?” I say, forcing myself to meet his eyes. Thank God for sunglasses.

“Davis,” says Ken. “If he knew it bothered you, he wouldn’t have said anything.”

“What bothered me?” I ask, because I’m actually not sure I follow and I feel sort of stupid because this is the first conversation I’ve had with Ken for awhile and I’m already lost.

Now that the Digiworld doesn’t need a whole bunch of saving, we seem to see each other less and less. Hence the beach reunion.

Ken holds up his diet soda, which seems a bit vague and I realize he thinks he’s overstepping his bounds, but I want him to step all over my bounds.

“If you mean my parents, you’re right,” I sigh and when Ken looks concerned I think of his family and his past and I quickly change my tone. “I mean, I love them, but…” I trail off, remembering all the times they had better things to do than pay attention to me.

“They love you,” he says and just hearing that L word out of his mouth gives me chills.

“I know.”

My toes press into the sand until they’re buried and I watch Davis and Veemon wrestle in the water. Hawkmon is beside them, floating on the surface like a seagull, and I can tell he’s already annoyed. I’m sort of glad he’s not here to tell me I’m being dramatic.

I turn to Ken and lean forward, resting my cheek on my knees. “I just wish they cared about me as much as they care about the store.”

Ken looks like he’s about to speak when Hawkmon cries, “Ruffians!” and takes off, heading toward us. He lands by my feet and ruffles his feathers. “How uncivilized!”

Gatomon hisses from her perch on a beach chair. “You’re getting me wet!”

“Apologies.”

She leaps down, stretching like a common house cat, mittens flexing. “I hate water.”

Armadillomon stops patting his sandcastle. “Well, gee, whatcha doin at the beach then?”

Gatomon flicks her tail. “I’m here for the fish.”

“I think the water looks awful fun. Can we swim, Cody?”

Cody smiles at his partner. “Of course. We can finish this later,” he says, dusting sand from his knees. The castle is meticulous, he’s been smoothing the edges for hours and I’m glad when they run into the shallow waves where Kari and TK are diving for shells.

Patamon is flying above them, trying to spot shiny things in the water. “I think Kari got a good one!”

Kari surfaces just in time to get a mouthful of seawater. “Davis!” she scolds, spitting.

Davis stops pelting Veemon and the blue monster breaks out of the water, gasping for air.

“No, don’t—” Kari lets out a scream as Davis lifts her by the waist and falls backwards into the waves, submerging them both. They come up a moment later and Kari starts splashing water into his face in retaliation.

TK swims behind them and dives, pulling Davis’s legs out from under him. Veemon joins in the attack against his partner and Patamon cheers when the three of them come up for air, ensuing in a new wrestling match.

Kari escapes to continue her search for shells, seeking Cody and Armadillomon’s help.

Ken is laughing at all of this and it almost hurts to see him so happy. I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just knowing how far he’s come…

Then we grow quiet, the shouts and laughter of the others drifting over us like a good dream. I lie back and Ken does the same, just an arm lengths away. I’m trying to think of clever ways to close the distance when he speaks, a sudden strain in his voice.

“It makes you feel insignificant.”

And suddenly I’m thinking of my family again even though he’s looking at the clouds.

“What?” I ask, not sure if he means me or if he’s talking about something else.

“The sky…” he says. His hand lifts to block the rays of sunshine from his eyes and I sit up so I can see his face. It’s as strained and tight as his voice. “The universe. I just wonder if anything we’ve done matters.”

I pull off my sunglasses and suddenly really wish I had the guts to wear contacts. He’s nothing but a blur. I put them back on.

“What are you talking about?” I ask. “Of course it does.”

For some reason my words make him worse. A crease runs beside his mouth, pulling it into a frown. “I think I might be afraid of that too.”

I can’t believe I’m hearing this. It’s been over three years since he was the Digimon Emperor and I really don’t want to have to slap him again. “Ken, you don’t still—”

“Is Ichijouji in one of his moods again?”

Davis seems to have appeared beside us by magic. He yanks his goggles from his eyes and nestles them into a mop of wet hair.

Ken sits up.

Davis’s sandy toes nudge Ken in the ribs, dirtying his shirt. “Lighten up! We’re at the beach, dude!”

“Hurry up, Davis!” TK is waiting by the edge of the water, a volleyball spinning on his finger.

“Why? You in a hurry to get destroyed?” Davis hollers. He turns to Ken. “I need you, man. TP’s talkin smack. Says soccer players don’t stand a chance volleyin. Cocky baller.”

Ken smiles and pushes himself to his feet, causing Wormmmon to squirm in his sleep. “Only if I can serve.”

Davis pouts. “I told you I hit that car on purpose. Cody!”—he shouts so suddenly I jump—“you’re on the losin’ team, ya know.”

Cody e hands Kari a shell he’s found and shouts back, “We’ll see.”

A gruff scoff comes out of Davis’s throat and he and Ken take off, bantering and strategizing and I’m still sitting here, lost. I lay back, blocking my eyes with my arm to keep out the sky.

I hear ruffling and peek to find Kari beside me, rubbing her hair with a towel. “Boys,” she mutters even though she’s smiling.

I turn back to the sky and let it fill my vision, the black blue in my lenses broken by clouds.

They roll by, blocking out the sun. The sky seems enormous now, miles and miles of atmosphere in another world, far from home and I wonder how many worlds there are that we don’t even know. I can hear Ken laughing and I guess I understand where he’s coming from.

But it isn’t the sky that makes me feel insignificant.

 

_.~*~~**~~*~._

The snouts of Yolei’s pigs slippers were buried in sand. Her hand hung, fingers wrapped around a knob that was no longer there.

Only the sound of rolling waves filled the silence until—

“Fuuu…” The curse rolled to a stop and Yolei turned around to see Davis, hand tugging at his wild hair. “Is that what happened last time?”

Yolei reached down and slid off her slippers, shaking out the sand. The shore felt hot on the soles of her feet and she ventured to a group of empty towels and beach chairs before she answered.

“Sort of,” she mumbled, stepping onto a towel. She stared at the print.

**I will Ctrl X you.**

There was a pair of scissors beneath, drawn in blocky pixels. Tai had given it to her for Christmas one year and handed it over with snorts of laughter so contagious that Yolei still smiled whenever she thought about it. Izzy received a matching mug and she had been so thrilled that Tai put them on the same level she didn’t even care how ugly it was. She’d lost it that summer when a couple of roachmon showed up on the beach and claimed it as their trash. She had almost gone after them with Shurimon until Kari talked her down.

Yolei pulled it out from under her bare feet and rolled it into a ball, hugging it to her chest. She swung around to Davis, who was watching her with knit brows and said, “You don’t remember Cody’s apartment?”

“Is that why that happened?”

“I guess,” Yolei said, rubbing the terry cloth between her fingers. It smelled like suntan lotion and memories. The air was thick with summer. Davis was already wiping sweat from his nose.

“I’ve only been there once,” he said. “His mom scares me.”

Yolei felt herself smile, imagining Davis, who had stood up to apocalyptic sized monsters, cowering under Mrs. Hida’s somber face.

“She’s not so bad.”

“I touched their Buddha and she yelled at me.”

“It’s a shrine, Davis. You’re not supposed to poke it.”

“Aren’t you supposed to rub his belly for luck?”

“Sure, at tourist shrines. But you don’t just waltz into someone’s home and jab your finger into theirs.”

Davis grumbled something about being too serious and religious before he plopped into a beach chair. Yolei followed suit and they both sat there for a minute, watching the waves.

“I wish I remembered the beach,” Davis said. He had rolled up the sleeves of his thermal shirt and was starting to tug at his jersey like he was itching to take it off. After fidgeting for a minute he leaned over his knees, head collapsing in his palms.

“You remembered kissing Kari, didn’t you?” For some reason Yolei hadn’t even thought to ask until now. Like her own feelings had made her aware that he had some.

Squishing his face between his hands, he said, “I used to think if I ever got to kiss Kari, I’d want to live that moment over and over again.”

“You don’t?”

Davis peered at Yolei through his fingers and made a low scoffing sound. “Maybe if it was different. But now...” His hands dropped and his face scrunched up, like he was in pain. “I wish things could go back. Then she wouldn’t hate me.”

“Kari doesn’t hate you.”

The scoff came again and Yolei used her feet to shovel sand over his sneakers, laughing when he cursed about it sinking into his socks.

“I’m serious,” she said when he peeled off his shoes to dump the sand out. “She doesn’t. I don’t even think she hates the bad guys. Even if she acts mad.”

“Whatever.”

“She hates herself.”

Davis froze and a final sprinkle of sand rolled from the shoe in his hand. “Shit.”

“You know I’m right.”

“I know, I know. She’s too freakin hard on herself. Shit. And all that stuff I said when I was drunk. She _should_ hate me.” Letting his shoes fall to the ground, Davis leaned back in his chair and his feet went under the sand. “Ugh. I’m never gonna have a girlfriend.”

“Stop being stupid,” Yolei said, because he was and she felt oddly jealous over his drama because somehow even awkward, pig-headed Davis had more of a love life than she ever had. “At least you’ve had your first kiss.”

“Wait a minute.” Davis sat up straight in his chair. “You haven’t? I thought you went out with that nerdy guy...”

Yolei rolled her eyes. “He isn’t a nerd.”

“Only nerds join the computer club.”

“Is Ken a nerd?”

“Ah, but he admits it, which makes him less of one.”

Yolei imagined Ken again and with the memory so fresh, her heart sank. Davis was staring at her with what looked like four eyes through her cracked lenses. She frowned.

“Anyway, we didn’t kiss,” she said. “So there you go.” Her arm rolled toward Davis in an elaborate gesture, as if forfeiting a prize. “Be happy. You’re not the complete loser of the group.”

“Huh.” Instead of gloating, he seemed to stare harder.

Yolei decided to put the pressure back on him. “So what about TK? Remember when we were here? And you were still friends?”

Davis finally unlocked his eyes from her face. He kicked at the sand. “Yeah, I already know. I’m an asshole. Noted.”

And then he looked so depressed that Yolei felt bad, but before she could say anything else he was on his feet, trudging away. Tiny valleys appeared behind his footsteps, marking his path to the cooler.

“Wow, there’s still ice in here.” He bent in half and resurfaced with a frown and sodas in hand. “Seriously? You only remembered diet?”

Yolei laughed.

 

* * *

 

The darkness went on for days. Or had it been hours? Weeks? Minutes?

Izzy wasn’t sure. The only marks of time were the comings and goings of his captor. There was no more conversation, no matter how he begged. No answer to his questions, no more talk of digidestined or his program. Nothing to see. There were only sounds, always in the same order: a scuffle, voices muffled by gags, a slam of metal, and then the cries.

Izzy spent a long time contemplating the meaning, trying to understand what part of building a world included this. He wondered if maybe he had done things differently, gotten everyone involved in the program, that he wouldn’t be here like this, listening to sounds of life being gathered like food for a beast.

 


	9. The Weight of a World

I’ve often been told my sense of justice makes people uncomfortable. I like to think that if you’re uncomfortable, it’s probably because you’re guilty.

Upamon has told me it’s that train of thought that drives people away. Of course, not in so many words. He mostly just tells me to lighten up and I do, because he’s Upamon.

I know the world isn’t black and white. That there are areas of gray, riding between the lines. That someone’s right isn’t everyone’s right, that sometimes wrong isn’t wrong. But then… what is? Is anything true at all? Real? When I go down that road, I find chaos.

I wonder if we try to sit as the judge of our lives because it’s the only way we feel in control.

In the darkness, I think of my father. And then I think, if we’re not in control, who is?

* * *

 

 **Chapter Nine** **  
** **The Weight of a World**

* * *

 

In the darkness, there was life.

It breathed beside him, moaned and thrashed and spoke. Digimon were being gathered. Their attacks flung uselessly in a stone cell, lighting the room up just enough Izzy could tell they weren’t human. He’d tried to talk to them, but they were weary, unsure his disembodied voice belonged to who he said it did. The one digimon that spoke even said the digidestined weren’t to be trusted.

“Save yourself,” it told him. And then when time had passed and more and more digimon were gathered and screaming, it weeped, “I can’t even save me.”

Another digimon had come in, some sort of henchmen. It moved in the darkness, navigating by what Izzy guessed was sheer memory.

Izzy’s throat was raw when he spoke. “Who are you working for?”

No reply came, but Izzy took the water it offered, drinking so fast he choked. Bread hovered under his nose. “You should eat before,” it said.

“Before what?” Izzy asked only after he had eaten, his stomach wringing and empty.

There was never any answer.

It was a long time before the weary one spoke. “They say he’s a god.”

Izzy pulled forward on his restraints. If he could just see… “Who is?”

There was no answer, just a panicked soliloquy. “He can see inside minds, read your core, create life, worlds. But not from nothing. No.”

_Create worlds…_

“He’s not doing it on his own,” Izzy said. “He needed my program and I needed a primordial code and years of research. Whoever he is, he’s not a god. If you help me we can stop him.”

“No, no. He has what he needs now.”

“Who’s with you?” Izzy asked when he heard a low growl.

“I don’t know. Not too many speaking digimon in here. But what does it matter? We’re all done for.”

“We have to send a message to Tentomon,” Izzy said. “He’s my partner. He could get us out of here. Or if we could communicate with Gennai… Did you see a digivice?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“It’s a small metallic device, about the size of my palm.” Izzy held out his hand, but he couldn’t even see it himself. The restraints pulled at his raw wrist. “Or a D-terminal. It’s for communication. It flips open, has a screen and keys.”

“There’s nothing to see here.”

Izzy felt desperation pull at his chest. “You have to try to remember, what did you see before he took you down here?”

“War.”

A loud bang burst into the room and the digimon went silent. Heavy steps came as a clicking across the floor.

“I heard you’re a god,” Izzy said.

Laughter, low and deep, scratched from his captor’s throat. “Close.”

And then, it happened.

A pain Izzy didn’t have the vocabulary to describe. Worse than the hot fire of nerve endings in a broken bone, worse than any sickness he’d endured, a tearing inside that he couldn’t attribute to any single organ. Without touching him, his captor had pulled something out from inside.

The digimon around him screamed and it took a moment for Izzy to realize he had joined them.

A million memories flashed in his mind, a million feelings, dreams, his life in pieces. Izzy could see his life before the Digiworld, his parents… _all of them_ , moments he didn’t even remember. His mother’s eyes. And then it was gone, replaced by words and visions of his life, so many and so jumbled that his mind felt like it would explode.  It never ended, only subdued, like a low throb in his temple, an emptiness in his soul.

Izzy coughed, a bitter metallic taste filling his throat. The digimon were silent. Only the sound of deep steady breaths filled their prison.

“What… did you…”

“You have created a world and together, we have made life to fill it.” A hand, almost human in feel, caressed Izzy’s hair as he spit blood.

Izzy didn’t know what had been done… how it was possible, but a part of him was missing. Something more essential than lungs, or the blood pooling from his bitten tongue.  

But what disturbed him the most was that he could still _feel_ whatever had been taken from him.

And now it was a part of something else.

 

* * *

 

 

Steam billowed from the shower curtains, pouring into the small bathroom. The sink was neatly crowded, clean and surrounded with products: cologne, styling gel, mousse.

Tai picked up the canister and gave it a squirt and all thoughts of making fun of Matt for using mousse went out the window when he recognized the scent of flowers he’d caught in red hair. He put it down.

A worn notebook sat on the back of the toilet and Tai had giggled about it for awhile, imagining Matt writing songs while he sat on the john. After Tai finally got ahold of himself, he’d climbed into the shower and let the hot water thaw his frozen fingers.

When they had ventured into the city, they found Odaiba Soundstage adorned in red and green. Lights and garland decorated lamp posts and Christmas wreaths hung from storefronts. Advertisements were taped in the windows, words and products garbled into strange blobs that Ken explained away as “fallible pieces of  Sora’s memory.” They walked, coatless in the winter cold, two miles until they had reached the Ishida apartment.

Sora had remembered every detail of it.

Not that Tai could blame her. It was hard to forget the family picture, complete with a young Nancy and chubby toddler TK, stained and sticking to the side of the fridge. Or the stark darkness that always seemed to hang in the bachelor apartment despite Matt’s best efforts to keep it tidy.

Tai wondered if that was why Matt always seemed to hint, in that vague brooding way of his, that he’d rather hang somewhere else. They almost always defaulted to the Kamiya apartment, even though Tai insisted his parents were weirdos. He guessed being weird together was better than being torn apart.

A sharp knock reminded Tai to finish washing his hair.

Matt’s voice came through the door. “I know you’re the dirtiest one here, but you could save some hot water for the rest of us.”

Tai gave Matt’s expensive conditioner an extra pump out of spite.

Matt was waiting outside the door when Tai was through. “Here,” he said, handing Tai a pile of clothes and moving into the bathroom. “The water better not be cold.”

“You’d think you’d like that, with all that ice in your veins.”

Matt rolled his eyes and Tai stopped mid-chuckle when he caught the scent of food.

“Did you cook?”

“Mmhm,” TK said from his spot on the couch, mouth full of noodles. He fanned his face. “It’s hot.”

“Thank God there’s more than sour milk,” Tai said. “I’m starving.”

Pink spread over Matt’s cheeks even though he was giving Tai the finger. He shut the bathroom door.

After swallowing,  TK said, “He’s sensitive about that.”

“What isn’t he sensitive about?” Tai mumbled. He pulled Matt’s shirt over his head. It was all black sans the white print of a band name Tai didn’t listen to. The towel around his waist loosened and he gave it a tug just as Sora emerged from Matt’s bedroom.

Tai’s breath caught.

And then his stomach dropped because it was not okay to be thinking about how sexy Sora looked in Matt’s button up.

“Matt made food,” he said because food was the only other thing he could think about.

“Udon,” added TK.

Kari was sitting beside him, sniffing and blinking her eyes, and for a brief second Tai thought about having _a talk_ with TK until she said, “It’s spicy.”

Ken nodded beside her, looking equally teary-eyed.

“Probably because I hate it hot,” Sora said, fidgeting with the buttons of Matt’s shirt.

Matt’s voice grumbled, “the mild’s in the kitchen,” through the door before they heard the water start.

This time Sora turned pink and she squeaked a _thank you_ so ashamed and cute that Tai had to look away. He shuffled into the hall to pull on Matt’s sweatpants before following the smells of spices to the kitchen. Sora was there, fixing herself a cup of tea, a less colorful version of udon on her plate.

“Matt should be a chef,” Tai said, scooping himself a heapful of spicy noodles. “This smells amazing. Good thing you remembered this place with food.”

“Do they really run out a lot?”

Tai looked at Sora for a minute and wondered how in four years of dating and all the years knowing Matt, she’d never come by when the fridge was bare.

Hiroaki had put Matt in charge of the groceries and the credit card years ago, when he realized Matt had been resorting to dinners at the Kamiya’s once the cereal had run out.

Now _that_ was desperate.

But between school, Digiworld and band practice, grocery shopping wasn’t always the highest thing on Matt's priority list. Except when he stress-cooked.

“He must go to the store when he knows you’re coming over,” Tai said.

Sora stared at her tea. “I wish he wouldn’t do that.”

Tai put his udon on the table and sat down. She followed. Noodles swirled around Tai’s chopsticks and he watched her, trying not to make a face when the heat of what felt like a thousand peppers hit his taste buds.

He coughed. “Is that why you guys broke up?”

Sora watched as his eyes watered, face flushed. She took a bite of her mild noodles instead of answering.

Tai rubbed his nose. “Not that it’s any of my business.”

Chewing, Sora pushed the noodles around her plate. “I remembered that Christmas,” she said quietly. “When we started going out.”

“I know.”

And there was another look, this time longer, and Tai felt like he needed to do something, so he shoveled more spicy udon in his mouth and almost choked.

“I remembered you too,” she added. “You looked different.”

Clearing his throat, he squeaked, “Really?”

She spun noodles around her chopsticks. “Younger, I guess.” She was still staring. “You look weird in Matt’s clothes.”

“When does he wear sweats?” Tai tugged at his legs. Then realizing he didn’t really want an answer he added, “He needs to put on some weight - I mean, this shirt.” He lifted his arms and could feel the material strain against his chest. “I feel fat.”

Sora laughed, so light and free that Tai didn’t mind feeling like a hippopotamus in Matt’s emo band clothes.

“You know,” he said when it grew quiet again, “When we first got there, I thought the soundstage was my memory.”

Sora stopped the ascent of her noodles.

“I’d been thinking about it a lot lately,” Tai admitted. “Sorta thought I was having that ‘my life flashed in front of my eyes’ moment, you know? I’m serious about falling in the manhole. I thought I was dead. ‘Cause first I had a fun twisted memory of Skullgreymon. Super disturbing. I really wish I knew why Izzy wanted to make this thing…” his rambling trailed off when Sora’s noodles returned to her plate.

“Why?” she asked.

Tai blinked. “Why what?”

“Why have you been thinking about it?” Sora said. And when he didn’t answer, a million reasons that shouldn’t be shared flying through his mind, she spoke more slowly. “That Christmas. The concert?”

“I dunno.” Tai gave a small shrug. “Probably cause you broke up with Matt. I guess.”

“Tai.” She frowned and he felt his face go hot. “Why would you think it was yours?”

He took another bite of food and blamed the spice for the heat in his cheeks.

“Hey, Tai?”

He had never been happier to hear his sister’s voice. “Mm?”

“Ken’s been telling us more about Izzy’s program. We thought we should have a meeting.”

Tai gave a loud clap and stood, still chewing. “Lesdoit.” He picked up the plate of udon and made sure to put more in his mouth so he didn’t have to talk. Kari gave him a look, the kind that told him she knew too much and turned back toward the living room.

A noodle slid between his teeth when he asked Sora if she was coming.

“Yeah,” she said, picking up her cup of tea. She gave his cheek a pat. “You have something right there.”

Tai wiped the food from his face and followed her to the couch. She sat beside TK and Tai had no choice but to squeeze on the loveseat where Matt sat, cross legged, hair hanging wet and messy on his forehead. His blue eyes were narrowed, like he had somehow heard their whole conversation from the shower.

“You look fresh,” Tai told him.

“You smell like udon.”

“How much sriracha did you put in that, man? My mouth is on fire.”

Matt cracked his knuckles. “Can’t take the heat?”

“So Ken was just telling me that he thinks we should try to find a portal,” Kari said, breaking in before their banter could continue.

“A portal?” Tai asked.

Ken gave a nod. “We might be able to use it to get back to the digital world… maybe even home.”

“By digiport? That sounds too easy,” TK said.

“It is,” Ken admitted. “With our digivices malfunctioning, I’m not sure we could access them and the computers here are no better than props.”

“So how do we get a portal open?” Matt asked.

“We need a memory of one that opened on its own.”

“Like after Myotismon,” said Kari.

“Not until we find everyone,” Tai said. “We can’t just leave them here.”

TK folded forward, hands bouncing over his knees. “What if they never came?”

“It’s impossible to tell,” Ken said. “Cody, Joe and Mimi went somewhere, but the others…” he trailed off, fingers pressed into the pocket of his blazer.

“We at least have to look,” said Sora. “What about their apartments?”

“Wouldn’t hurt to try,” Ken agreed. “They might be looking for us in ours too. We can leave a note in each place we check, in case we miss each other. Can anyone think of a good meeting place?”

“Camp.” It seemed so obvious that Tai hadn’t had to think about it. “If we’re going to find a portal, it’ll be there.”

Matt gave a concurring nod.

“So…” Tai stood and gave a long stretch, rolling his shoulders when Matt’s shirt caught under his armpits. “Where to first?”

“Your place is closest,” Sora said.

“Home sweet home it is. Then I can get out of these awful clothes.”

Matt barely twitched.

 

* * *

 

 

The air was warm. A summer breeze played with the trees, shaking leaves above their heads as they walked through the quiet streets. And even though they were lined with cars, abandoned like they were in an apocalyptic movie, Odaiba felt like home.

At least it did to Mimi. Even this Odaiba, with its dead streets and stillness, was filled with nostalgia. The air smelled of the sea and city fumes. Everything was familiar.

And then there was Joe. Older and hers. Mimi’s fingertips casually brushed his arm and when he turned pink, she knew he was the real reason she felt at home. She wondered then, why she had settled so many times when she could have had what was real all along.  Even if he’d been a million miles away. Even when he wasn’t.

Her heart plummeted, sinking into the pit of her stomach with regret.

“Isn’t this the Takenouchi’s shop?”

Joe’s voice pulled it further and the guilt rose. Mimi shook away her feelings and pressed a hand to the window of the storefront, looking through the glass. Flowers filled the space with color, but it was dead inside.

“No one’s here,” she said.

Cody pulled out his D-3 and stared at its blank screen. “I’m worried we might be the only ones in this world.”

“Do you think they’re still in that place?” Mimi asked. The memory of the dark emptiness seemed to surge forward, bringing with it all her mistakes.

“I hope not,” Joe said. “I think the best thing we can do now is replenish our supplies. If the same thing happens again, we might end up back in Digiworld.”

“Good idea,” said Cody.

“Do you have a sharpie?” Mimi asked and sure enough, even though his brow raised under his glasses, Joe pulled a sharpie out of his bag.

“You’re the only one I know who’d come to a party with a _go bag_ ,” she chuckled while writing her long pleasant calligraphy across the Takenouchi window.

Joe was smiling and it warmed her all over. “Mimi was here?”

She capped the marker. “How else are they going to know?”

“That’s not a bad idea,” said Cody.

Mimi stuffed the sharpie back into Joe’s bag and gave it a pat. He flushed when it bounced against his front and his hands pulled it still before she could pat it again. Laughing, she turned back to the flower shop, tapping a finger on her mark.

“I remember when Sora and I used to do our homework here.” The shop was well lit, artificial sunlight pouring down from the ceiling. “We would always try to save the flowers her mom threw out. Make our own bouquets with the wilted ones. Half brown. Palmon hated seeing flowers in the trash.”

For a moment Mimi swore she could see her partner inside, but it was just a pink rose among the vines. Memories and secrets hid in that place, thick as a jungle.

“I’m sure they were beautiful,” Joe said and even though he was teasing, his tone was covered by something softer in his eyes.

“They were,” she said, remembering the fallen petals, the dying leaves.

Sora’s apartment was less than a block away. They found it locked. Black sharpie marked her door: **_Mimi was here_ ** . And underneath: **_Cody and Joe too_ **.

They passed by Mimi’s old house. No one would go looking there anymore. And then, as they turned a corner, they found the rain.

Water flooded the street, rushing in waves along the gutters under a clear blue sky. A storm sat nearly a mile ahead, its still dark clouds hovering so low that they grazed the tops of buildings.

“Great,” Joe muttered. “No umbrella in the go bag.”

“It shouldn’t be raining,” Cody said.

“Why not?” asked Mimi.

They stared at the clouds and for the first time, Mimi noticed the straight edge, as if they were held back by a wall. They sat, still and ominous as a summer breeze gently blew at her hair. Rain water swam by her feet.

Cody said, “This isn’t my memory.”

They ran. Mimi scooped her heels into her hands and water washed the dirt from the soles of her feet as they pounded against the wet pavement. They stopped when they reached a wall of water.

Mimi put her hand in and it came back soaked and freezing.

“And I thought the climate changes in Digiworld were crazy,” Joe said.

“A glitch,” Cody said. “The weather patterns must stay consistent with the memory they were derived from.”

Mimi’s eyes stung with the realization. “It’s not just us.”

Joe’s fingertips grazed the rain. “I’m guessing this was one of the things Izzy was still working on.”

Mimi shivered. Joe handed her his jacket and they went into the storm. A rumble of thunder raced them down the street, rain pelting them as they ran. Long before they reached Cody’s apartment complex, Joe’s jacket had soaked through. It still shielded the worst of it from her face, but the cold was seeping into her neck and down her shoulders until she was stiff.

And even though shelter was just steps away, they slowed to a stop in front of the apartment building. A single car was out of place, the front bumper hanging beside a dented light pole.

“Someone was here,” Mimi said from beneath the tent of Joe’s jacket.

Cody wiped water from the passenger window and peered inside. “Someone who doesn’t know how to drive.”

Mimi shouted “HELLO!” at the apartment building, but the rain drowned her voice.

“Hope no one’s hurt,” said Joe, blinking behind wet lenses. Mimi grabbed his hand to keep him from stepping on a broken headlight. Their moist palms pressed together and heat rose through the chill of their skin.

The elevator seemed to take an eternity to rise. A heavy silence surrounded them, like a tangible anticipation at what they would find. Mimi’s stomach churned. They stepped off, heads bobbing back and forth down the hallway for any signs of life.

A door hung open.

Cody said, “That’s my apartment.”

Running after him, Mimi’s heart pounded so hard and fast that she could feel it all the way in her fingertips and then it stopped. For a split second she saw nothing but a pit of black, a void where the Hida’s home should have been.

Then Cody’s eyes went blank.

Bit by bit, the apartment appeared, the floor and ceiling seemed to unroll before them, like a black fog rolling back to sea, revealing all it had covered in the night. Furniture emerged, a shrine to Buddha by the entry, a plaque on the wall recognizing his grandfather’s kendo school, a picture of his father.

Cody’s hands shot to his head and he stumbled into the apartment, unsteady. Joe caught his arm and asked, “Are you okay?” When he didn’t get an answer, he led Cody to the couch and went to retrieve a glass of water from the kitchen.

Mimi followed behind in a daze, eyeing the room like it might roll away, taking them with it. “What was that?”

Joe came back, pressing a glass into Cody’s hand.

Cody took the water, but didn’t drink. “I felt it,” he whispered.

“What did you feel?” Joe asked. He brushed aside Cody’s dampened bangs and pressed a hand to his forehead while Mimi sat beside him and took his hand.

“Someone was in my head.” Cody gave a slow blink and clenched the glass in his hand. “I thought maybe it was just the program before…”

They waited a long time for him to continue, but he didn’t. Mimi followed his eyes to the picture of his father on the wall.

“What do you mean someone?” she asked.

Green slipped behind his eyelids and they stayed shut, blocking out the world.

“Take your time,” Joe told him and then, signaling to Mimi, he stepped back into the kitchen. She gave Cody’s hand a squeeze before she joined Joe, who was polishing the rain from his glasses.

The chill of water sunk into her skin. “I don’t like this.”

“Me either,” Joe admitted, replacing his glasses. “I don’t know what Izzy’s program is capable of, but the thought of it allowing someone to pick through our heads...”

“It’s impossible,” Mimi said, though she knew her eyes were asking, hoping he would tell her she was right.

“Maybe he programmed it to scan our memories until it finds one that fits.”

Her head shook, desperate for another answer. “Not Izzy.” Because Izzy knew what it was like to have secrets. Mimi tried to picture him, fingers flying over the keyboard, watching her memories play out while she sat helplessly plugged into a machine. It made her sick to her stomach, ashamed. “He wouldn’t invade our privacy like that.”

“It certainly feels invasive,” Joe said and right as Mimi stomped her foot, he waved his hands, as if his dramatic appeal would somehow calm the anger she felt boiling to the surface. “I mean, I doubt that was his intention. He probably didn’t plan to use it on us anyway. Maybe some government guinea pigs or something.”

“He wouldn’t make it work like that on _anyone_ ,” Mimi said.

Joe stared at her for a long moment before speaking. “Okay.” His hand lifted and for a brief moment it hovered before it found rest on the countertop.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “It’s just… I really don’t like the idea of someone being able to see my memories. Izzy wouldn’t either.”

“I don’t disagree with you,” said Joe. “But I’m going to assume Izzy isn’t in control of this program anymore. Whoever took him…” Joe’s dark eyes looked over the rims of his glasses, reading her in a way she wished he wouldn’t. Because she was imagining what he would think if he really knew everything.

“Mimi?”

Her heart stopped, her lungs froze, and all the memories she didn’t want him to see came rushing forth, free for the taking. She swallowed. “What?”

Footsteps kept Joe from continuing. They both turned to see Cody, glass still full in his hands. “We need to check the other apartments,” he said.

“What did you mean?” Mimi asked. Cody blinked at her, movements still slow. “When you said someone was in your head.”

“I meant someone was in my head,” said Cody, voice dry and drained. “I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Try.”

His brow raised and he looked to Joe, as if he could explain the sharp change in Mimi’s tone. But Joe just watched her, reading her again, as if he could peer into her thoughts too. It was the same way Matt had looked at her at the party, like he could see everything she wanted to hide. The same way she imagined someone reaping Cody’s memories, exposing them to fill the void.

“When I remembered visiting my father’s grave there were other memories first,” Cody said. “Just glimpses. But my mind didn’t settle on one until I really _felt_ it. The emotion sort of drew them in, the someone, I mean. Like my feelings gave them better access. I wasn’t sure it was a _someone_ then, but now that I felt it again…”

Cody looked at his water. “There was a presence. Like when you know someone is behind you before you see them.”

When they left the Hida apartment, Mimi looked back over her shoulder for someone watching.

 

* * *

 

 

The beach was deserted. It was strange how much you didn't notice life until it was missing. Miles and miles of sand and ocean and not a living thing in sight: no digimon, no crabs, no seagulls, nobody.

And it was hot. Davis thought when he saw the shade of the jungle stretch into the peninsula that he’d finally stop sweating, but the dense forest canopy only seemed to trap the heat, like giant monster sauna.

Yolei was wiping foliage from where it had plastered to her sweaty face. “Have I ever mentioned how much I hate the jungle?” Her glasses slid down her nose, crooked and broken. She heaved a beach bag back over her shoulder. “Because I hate the jungle.”

Davis stopped and dropped his backpack so suddenly that she walked into his back.

“Blech, gross.”

She’d barely manage to unstick herself  before he peeled his sweat soaked thermal shirt off his back.

“I’m dying,” Davis moaned, unzipping the backpack.

“Ew, don’t put that in there with the food.”

“It’s all packaged.”

“That is irrelevant. Your BO is bad enough to permeate the plastic. Do you really want BO flavored Doritos?”

“Probably taste the same as regular Doritos.” Davis managed to untangle his jersey from the thermal, but it too was dripping. He gave them both an angry shove, right on top of the bag of chips.

Yolei gagged.

“Whatever,” Davis grumbled. “You’re just as nasty.”

“And yet I keep my shirt on.”

“You can always go topless.”

Yolei’s already flushed cheeks went red and Davis squeaked, “I just believe in equal opportunity!” while she smacked the back of his head.

Her hand snapped back in disgust. “Oh gross gross gross.” She wiped his sweat on her skirt.

Laughing, Davis threw his backpack onto his bare, wet back and pointed at her hair, slick and tight behind her ears. “You look like you just went swimming.”

“I wish. Is it too late to go back to the ocean?” Yolei yanked off her glasses to wipe her face with the neck of her shirt. The bottom hiked up beneath her ribs. It stuck like that for awhile, wet and clinging.

“I was hoping the Punimon village was this way,” Davis said, drawing his eyes away and feeling hotter than before. He ducked under a low hanging branch. “You think digiports work in this world?” He turned back when she didn’t follow.

“Stop.”

He suddenly felt the need to clear his throat. Why was it _so_ hot?  “Stop what?”

Yolei’s finger pressed against her mouth, shushing him. After a moment of silence and Davis looking at every leaf and flower, he had to turn back to the smooth line of her stomach. His voice stuck in his throat for a minute before he managed to ask, “What is it?”

“I heard something,” she whispered.

Then, in the far distance, the forest shook. They both did nothing for a minute but stare through the thick foliage, listening to the sound of snapping branches.

“Yo!” Davis shouted. “Guys!”

Yolei squeaked his name.

“It’s gotta be the others, right?” he asked.

The shaking stopped, but no voice returned. Then, suddenly understanding her fear, Davis went silent.

Yolei took a step backward, shirt finally falling back in place. “Go.”

A low rumble, crack, and then a choking sound preceded more movement.

“You sure it’s not them?” Davis whispered. “Maybe they’re hurt. We should check it out.”

“Don’t be stupid. Who do you know that’s 10 feet tall?” Yolei hissed when the branches moved again. “We don’t have our digimon. Go.”

Davis did his best to hurry without making a sound. He took rushed careful steps, dodging under vines, sweaty skin catching on branches, making him regret taking off his shirt.

“Oh God,” Yolei whimpered. “It’s following us.”

Davis looked over his shoulder and saw the trees bend behind them, like they hadn’t gained ground. “Maybe we should run.”

There was a sharp gasp, loud and painful and for a minute, he thought Yolei had gotten hurt, but she stood there, unharmed, horrified and silent. A wail came through the trees and then a shriek that reminded Davis of an airdramon bent on attack.

“Yeah, we should run.”

So they did. The foliage whipped at him now, thorns catching his skin, leaving cuts across his side. Just when they had started making some headway, Davis heard a thump and a long breath of wind expelling through teeth. He kept going, sure something was on their heels.

Nearly a minute passed before he realized he was missing Yolei. He whipped around, quick sharp turns, hissing her name. He finally found a spot of lilac among the greenery and met her halfway.

“Where did you go?” he asked.

“You left me.”

It was only upon her sharp accusation that he noticed the tracks under her broken glasses, clearing paths in the dirt on her cheeks.

He was not getting blamed for her crying again. “You just disappeared.”

“I fell!”

They were shouting whispers, eyes bouncing around the forest for any sign of life. When there was nothing, Davis turned back to the rivers on Yolei’s face. She still was searching the woods, body twitching in anticipation.

“I think it’s gone,” he said.

“You just left,” she said, never looking at him. “And there’s something out there, probably waiting to eat us. You didn’t even stop. Or notice.” She was breaking into full panic mode, her voice coming out shrill and manic, reminiscent of a girl with the weight of saving the world on her shoulders. “You left—”

“I’m sorry.” The apology came out sharp and annoyed and something broke in her face, crestfallen. Davis felt his voice go soft. “But I came back, okay?”

Yolei nodded, fingers smudging the dirt and tears beneath her glasses. “They left us,” she said, looking around again, palms pressing under her cheeks. “And I, I can’t—”

“I’m right here.” His hand reached for her wrist and it trembled in his palm. “C’mon, let’s go.”

“Okay.” Another nod. “Okay.”

They stayed like that for some time, clinging together as they continued through the jungle, waiting for some other terrific sign of life. When it seemed more sure that they had lost whatever had lurked in the trees, Yolei twisted her arm from his hand, wiping the sweat from his palm onto her skirt. Davis felt his cheeks go red.

“What do you think that was?” she asked, trying to keep her voice mature and calm even though panic still hung beneath the surface.

“A digimon, I guess.” Davis looked over his shoulder to find her watching him, one eye squinting through her cracked lens.

“You’re bleeding.” Her fingers pressed above a cut on his ribs and he squirmed under her touch. “Should have kept your shirt on.”

“Lesson learned,” he said, batting her hand away.

“Don’t bat at me.” She pressed it again and he had to resist the urge to slap her when his skin stung. “There’s a thorn stuck in there. And it’s dirty. Sit down.”

“Where?” Davis asked, looking around. Vines and shin deep plantation surrounded their feet.

“As soon as we find a clearing I’m patching that up,” Yolei said.

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Until it gets infected because you’re too proud for a band-aid.”

“I’m not too proud. You probably just don’t have any Spiderman ones in there.”

Yolei snorted and Davis grinned, feeling accomplished. “You underestimate me.” She pulled a pack of _Avengers_ band-aids from her beach bag.

“That’s not Spidey,” he whined.

“Please, I know you have a secret crush on Captain America.”

Davis shrugged. “Who doesn’t?”

Her laughter came out squeaked and bright, crinkling the tear stains on her cheeks. The bandages returned to her bag and they continued their walk, hushed voices arguing about who the best Avengers were and theorizing about which digimon each superhero would be partnered with. Davis watched the forest all the while, waiting for some sign they were being followed and Yolei’s voice was so low half the time he wasn’t sure what he was disagreeing with.

Overhead the foliage changed. It was subtle at first, so minor that Davis wrote off the gray leaves intermingling with the greenery as easily as if they were changing with the season. It was when tree trunks began to lose their deep earthy hue, when the bright pink flowers went colorless two petals in, that he took notice.

He picked a flower and handed it to Yolei. “Weird, right?”

The color immediately drained from her face. “Yeah.”

As they moved, more of the forest faded to gray. First in pieces and then entire spots went monochrome.

“This is definitely not the way to Punimon Village,” Davis said.

“This isn’t my memory,” said Yolei. Her red fingernails ran along a line of gray vines and then her eyes locked with his.

They picked up the pace and Davis wondered what he’d do when they found the others. How  Kari would look at him, if her eyes would still be lined with regret. If TK would still act wounded and betrayed.

“You don’t remember anything like this?” he asked Yolei.

She shook her head. “I think… remember when Tai told us about the Dark Masters?”

Davis gave a nod, rubbing a gray leaf between his fingers. It left what looked like charcoal on his skin. “Spiral Mountain?”

“No.”

Pieces of gray leaf sprinkled to the ground from his fist like ash. “Well it looks like—”

“Davis.” Yolei’s fingertips grazed his wrist. “Look.”

He looked up from the earth to a world of black and white, a desolate clearing of rolling hills and destruction.

Primary Village had fallen to ruins.

“Wow…”

Tiny freshly dug graves lined the place where digieggs should have sat waiting to hatch. They  walked into the village, along the upturned blocks and baskets, surveying the damage.

Yolei took a seat on a fallen wall of the dilapidated school. Davis could see her eyes fill with tears, but she didn’t cry. She pointed next to her and he sat, quiet and obedient while she pulled out her _Avengers_ band-aids. The pig slippers on her feet were filthy and worn and he stared at them, wincing when she yanked the thorn from his side.

“Owwwwwwahh.”

“Baby.”

After wiping down her hands, she ripped open another alcohol swab and rubbed it across his ribs, ignoring his whine. The air was cooler here, like fall under a gray sky. Davis could feel the sweat drying on his face and goosebumps rose across his chest when Yolei’s cool fingers rubbed cream over his cuts.

“Iron Man or the Hulk?” she asked.

“No Captain America?”

Her laugh was small and short and far from her eyes. He could barely make them out. Glass cracked across one, breaking it into slivers of caramel. It hid behind her eyelid after she stuck the Hulk across his side.

“You okay?” he asked her.

“Mm…” She stuffed the trash in her bag and pulled out a water bottle. It was wet from condensation, ice from the cooler long melted. “Well, if you don’t count the monster lurking in the jungle, or being left here alone without Hawkmon in some weird world that literally rips off our memories by some invisible bad guy who stole a program out of Izzy’s computer, then I’m great.”

“Yeah, besides all that.” Davis thought for a moment. “Hey, you’re not alone, you know.”

“Yeah.” Yolei turned the bottle cap in her hands.

“Are you just pissed off because they left you with _me_?” His voice came out lower than he’d meant and she looked at him, brow raising above her crooked lens.

“That’s not what I—”

“So you’d still be all mopey and depressed if you were with Ken?”

She stayed quiet.  

Davis felt his chest tighten. “Sorry I’m not pretty enough for you.”

“You were passed out!” Yolei stood, throwing her bag over her shoulder and whipping on him. “I needed _any_ body and you weren’t _there_ . They left _me. Alone._ In that place you barely even remember. Right after all those memories...and now I just have one more awful thing to add to my collection of being a big unwanted mistake, okay?

“So no, I probably wouldn’t have been this upset if they’d left me with Ken because he wouldn’t have been too drunk to be there when I needed him!”

Davis immediately went on defense. “Hey, how was I supposed to know we were gonna get sucked into a portal again? It’s not like we do anything for Digiworld anymore.”

“I don’t know!” Yolei’s eyes filled with tears again and the adorable filth covered pig on her foot stomped angrily into the gray grass. “You just…” She swiped her hand across her cheek. “God, I really am selfish.”  

With that she started away from him, wrist rubbing under her nose and Davis still stunned in her wake. It took him a minute to process her words before he took off after her.

“You don’t have to follow me,” she muttered.

“After that?” Davis said. “I’m sure as hell not leavin you alone again.”

A sharp, ironic laugh came from Yolei when she reached the edge of a murky lake. Its shores were gray and devoid of color, even the mud was robbed of its rich ruddiness. “I’m going to regret that,” she said, humor falling flat through her tears. “I’m sorry I yelled at you.”

“Too late. You’re stuck with me now.”

She laughed again, this time something more earnest. Davis watched her for a moment, her bright hair a flash of color in a gray world. “My parents didn’t want me,” she said suddenly. “Mantarou said I was a mistake and they sort of confirmed it my whole life. You know, not outright, but I could _tell_. I mean, I think they love me because they have to, but…”

A great sigh heaved her shoulders and Davis thought of all the times he’d felt exactly the same. He didn’t really have anything all that encouraging to say except the obvious: that she was an important part of their team, that she had saved their asses a dozen times, that she wasn’t selfish - well, not all the time. But she knew that already and he sort of had a feeling it wouldn’t help.

So instead he walked to her side and gave her a nudge with his shoulder, rolling his head to the side. She followed his line of sight to an old pedal boat, shaped like a swan.

“Wanna go fishing?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

Its vision was tunneled and curved, a fish-eye lens to an unknown world.

The gray foliage was stark in contrast to the color it had left behind. Its surroundings blended together and faded in and out of reality. It could feel the liquid in its chest as it struggled to breathe.

So, this was what death felt like.

Each step was agony. All its senses began to fade away. Black steadily took over its vision. It stumbled and fell to ground, wheezing. Slowly the sound of the wind in the trees became muffled. Its own wet, rasping breaths echoed from a distance until all went silent.

Then its chest felt full and heavy. With its last breath, it could smell the scent of its own decay.

There was a moment after it stopped breathing that it could still feel. The sensation of the ground beneath its body disappeared slowly, traveling from its appendages until all it could feel was the final heavy, thrum of its heart.

Izzy gasped.

For a moment he couldn’t breathe, his chest tightened to a point that he was sure he was choking. His throat closed and opened again before spilling the contents of his stomach on the floor. It seemed like an eternity before he stopped being sick. Tears squeezed from the corners of his eyes as he spit the last of the horrid taste from his mouth.

“You were there, weren’t you?” The vile breath of his captor made Izzy bite back another round of vomit.

He couldn’t have been… he wasn’t. He was.

The lack of a response seemed to be enough of an answer for the monster. “We will try another. One that you may be more compatible with.”

“W-what”—more coughing—“what did you do to me?”

The claws clicked to his left. “You were part of my first creation. Life of a new divine being… where the power of the digidestined and digimon can truly be one.”

“That’s”—Izzy’s chest heaved up and down— “impossible.”

The sound of the monster’s nails became distant. “It is possible. My very name denotes the power to do so.”

Izzy’s mind felt slow and he tried to remember what he had felt, the way it had been to be ripped in two and his body still being whole. “What is your name?”

He could almost feel the monster’s smile through the darkness. “Animamon.”

When Izzy heard the door slam, he again felt bile rise to the back of his throat. In his studies, he had learned enough Latin to understand that name.

His captor was a digimon. And he could manipulate souls.

  
  
  



	10. Change

Sometimes I think you get to a point in life where you stop. 

Maybe it’s only for a moment, but it’s stagnant. You want to change, but keep falling back into the same habits. You want to be better, but fear holds you back.

I think I’m still scared of losing people. And at this point, I’m too old to keep blaming my parents for it. Gabumon always tells me not to worry, that he’ll always be there, no matter what - even through my terrible decisions, even if we might not make it out alive. It’s easy to believe him. Digimon are not like people.

I know I think about things too much, about what I need to do to keep things the same, because people hate change and I need them to stay. And then I hate that  _ I _ hate change because I need to change to keep things the same.

My thoughts don’t even make sense. They start swirling like a dark pool, creeping at my feet. And now that I’m here, I wonder if I ever left the dark behind at all. 

* * *

**Chapter Ten  
** **Change** ****  


* * *

At first glance, the Inoue apartment was the same as always.

Cody had prepared for the worst. A black pit waiting to steal from his memory, the reaper hovering in the back of his mind.

But nothing happened. Everything was in place, the art above the couch seemed unfamiliar, but Cody had never really paid much attention to it anyway. He was standing, observing it, tension fixing his back like a rod when Mimi squeaked, “Her shoes are here!”

Two purple stilettos dangled from Mimi’s hands when he turned around.

“Gosh, these are cute,” Mimi cooed. “I should’ve bought myself a pair too.” When the boys stared at her, clueless, she added, “Yolei was here. We went shopping before the party. She was wearing these when we got sucked into the portal.”

Joe grabbed a pair of keys from the coffee table. “Guess we know who crashed the car.”

“Yolei!” Cody’s voice seemed to echo down the empty hall. “Davis!”

“We must have missed them,” Joe said.

“Why would she leave without her shoes?” Cody asked.

“Probably found something more comfortable,” Mimi said, collapsing on the couch. She held Yolei’s shoes up to her blistered feet, comparing the size.

“Why would you want to put on more heels?” Joe asked.

“Aesthetics.”

“You can’t find something that’s pretty and practical?”

“Pretty, maybe. Sexy, though? Not so much.” Mimi slipped on the stiletto and gave her leg a little lift. “Yolei was definitely going for sexy.”

Cody ventured down the hall before Joe started stuttering. His embarrassed hiss was followed by Mimi’s light, playful laugh. For a moment, they reminded Cody of him and Yolei. Maybe that was why they inherited their crests.

Cody had known Yolei for almost as long as he could remember. His family had moved into the apartment not long after his father passed. She’d become an instant friend, loitering in the hallway while his grandfather and mother arranged stacks of boxes, asking the important things, like ‘why is your dad so old?’ and ‘do you have a computer?’

Cody had always found solace in the chaos of the Inoue household. Kids were always around, parents were busy bustling in and out at odd hours, and everyone was loud. It was a stark contrast to Cody’s quiet home, where an hour of grieving was his mother’s nightly ritual.

Inside of Yolei’s room was just how he remembered it. The same bedspread, the basket Poromon slept in by her feet, a dozen stuffed animals decorating her headboard. One dresser drawer had been left open andhe was surprised to find it empty.

Usually Yolei’s drawers were stuffed to capacity, a million layers for every season. Cody thought of the times she’d modeled for him, asking for opinions he wasn’t sure how to give. Because Yolei had always been like a sister to him and she liked to ask things like, “do you think guys will notice me in this?” to which he always thought, _how could anyone not notice Yolei Inoue?_

Cody walked up to her dresser, pushing the empty drawer back into place. Beneath, he found shards of glass. He found more caught in the carpet by her bed and then the remains of a broken picture frame lying on her nightstand.

It took him only a second to recognize it. What should have been a family picture had been reduced to a mold of inhuman blobs.

Then the reaper returned.

Darkness touched the frame, swirling where Cody’s eyes had fallen. The presence lurked in his mind, touching memories. Cody could see them, resting somewhere in his subconscious: Mantarou, Chiziru, Momoe and Yolei, all framed by their smiling parents on what Yolei claimed to be their only family vacation. The one and only time I-Mart had closed.

Cody could hear Yolei’s voice.

“ _You should totally ask your grandpa to take you there. I swear those hot springs could cure cancer. They are that good. Too bad we'll never go back. My parents don’t trust anyone else with the store. I think that was the longest they ever left it.” She paused to put the picture back on her nightstand. “You know, when I have kids someday, I’ll take them there every spring, stay a whole week. I’ll let them stay up late and eat all the desserts at the buffet and...”_

Cody saw a flash of violet hair, spilling over her face, hiding the sound of the lump in her throat, and then she was gone.

The picture came back to life, complete. Yolei beamed, her big round glasses glaring in the flash, bubbling hot springs steaming behind her family’s backs.

Cody collapsed onto her bed. It took a minute for Joe and Mimi to find him.

“Cody?” Joe sat beside him.

Mimi sat on his other side. “It happened again, didn’t it?”

“Just the picture. I don’t get it,” Cody choked out. “If Yolei was here, then why weren’t her things right?”

“Maybe… maybe this wasn’t her memory,” Joe said.

“It had to be,” Mimi said. “Her shoes were here.”

“Davis,” Cody said. “He was with her and maybe… it has to be his. ” He took in a shaky breath. “Maybe that’s why my apartment was empty. I can’t remember the last time he was there.”

“I think the program is searching for missing information,” Joe said. “It must be using your memories to fill in the gaps of Davis’s.”

“So are you saying every time someone has a foggy memory it’s going to use one of us to fill it?” Mimi asked. Her eyes had gone dark, her bright sparkly optimism long gone.

“Except it didn’t use Yolei,” Cody said. “If she was here, why wouldn’t it fill in the gap with her memory?”

Joe took off his glasses and rubbed them with the edge of his shirt. “Maybe it’s because we came to Davis’s memory through yours.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Mimi said, pulling one of Yolei’s stuffed animals into her arms. “What matters is where they went. Do you have any ideas?”

Cody shook his head and, pressing his fingers to his temple, he stood to check her dresser drawers and found them all empty. He thought of her shoes.

“I think you’re right about the program, Joe,” he said. “Someone is creating this world while we’re in it.”

His eyes drifted to the broken frame on the nightstand. Yolei smiled up at him. It was strange how people could smile when they were sad.

Cody never had learned how to do that.

…

* * *

 ...

The streets were covered in ice.

They found out the hard way, when Matt’s feet went out from under him, sending him crashing to his backend. In an attempt to  rise, his four limbs spread out like a crab. He collapsed in the middle of the sidewalk, groaning.

“Is that ice?” asked TK.

“No, it was a banana peel,” said Matt.

Laughter bubbled in the back of TK’s throat when he shuffled to his brother’s side. Kari followed and together they struggled to get him on his feet. When Matt pulled his arm,  TK went sharply sideways and caught himself on Kari’s hip.

She laughed, helping the brothers  steady themselves.

Red, TK asked her, “How are you not falling right now?”

Tai shuffled backwards past them in long smooth strides, as if he had magically transformed his sneakers to ice skates.  “Lessons.”

Matt managed to catch himself on a window ledge and Kari went a bit pink when TK’s fingers slid over her center.

Watching her red Mary Janes find their footing, Kari explained, “Our mom had dreams of us becoming the next big figure skating duo.”

Matt gave a low snort, to which Tai said, “Jealous.”

“It’s raining,” Ken said.

Tai twisted around, the smug look on his face slipping along with his body to the ground.

“Serves you right,” Sora said when the air flew from his lungs.

Tai wheezed. “So mean.”

After TK was steady on his feet,  Kari looked to the sky.

Ahead, a wall of clouds met the tops of the buildings. Rain poured down so heavy it seemed solid. Gutters overflowed and water rushed toward them from the storm. When it reached the edge of the clouds, it slowed until it became a trickle over ever growing sheets of ice.

“That's not possible, right?” TK asked Ken.

“It shouldn't be.”

“Tai,” Sora snickered, legs sliding into a V, “if you pull me down with you, I swear.”

“You'd be able to help if you'd stop laughing at me.”

“I'm sorry.” The moment Tai was on his feet, more laughter burst through her nose.  “I just keep picturing you in a sparkly leotard.”

“That's for the girls.”

“One time our instructor made him wear a mesh shirt,” Kari said.

“For the record, that's when I quit.”

“I'm pretty sure you said it was cool.”

“No,  I said cold,” Tai said.  When TK laughed behind ++his fist, he scowled. “I was eight.”

Almost everyone was laughing again. Kari broke from the conversation to join Ken, who kept his eyes on the clouds.

“What is it?” she asked him.

“I'm not sure yet.” When she stayed silent by his side, he turned to her. “This is another memory.”

“I didn’t remember rain,” Sora confirmed.

Kari slid carefully along the ice. Ken started to explain to them about weather patterns and the coding errors Izzy had meant to work through and his voice grew distant while she made her way toward the storm. The closer she got, the worse her footing was. The ice grew thicker and slick with rain. She rubbed her arms, trying to fight the winter frost creeping through her sweater.

She barely heard Tai’s voice when she finally reached the edge of the storm, nearly a block away from where they had witness Matt vs. Ice.

Rain ricocheted off pavement, touching her shins. Kari held her hand up to the wall of water, fingers touching the chill of early spring. The sound reminded her of that day, a steady hush as the rain caught up to their clasped hands.

“Kari?”

Tai flanked her side, his dark eyes watching her in the way they did sometimes, whenever she seemed too close to the edge. She flicked her wet fingertips, aiming for his nose.

“Hey.” He wiped water from his face and hooked an arm over her shoulders, giving them a squeeze and ruffling her hair. They both began to slide backwards and had to hold onto each other to keep their footing.

Laughing, Tai said, “I can’t believe you told them about the mesh shirt.”

“You know you loved it.”

A smirk curled into the dimple on his cheek and Kari thought about how grown up he was now. How in a few short months he’d be whisked off to college while she figured things out on her own. She gave his hand a squeeze and let him go.

“Too bad we didn’t grab an umbrella,” Sora said, coming up behind them, tugging her sweater over her wrists. “I’m freezing.”

Kari could see Matt shift behind her, as if he had to hold onto his jacket in order to keep himself from offering it.

“Well, if we run we can get the blood pumping,” Tai said. “Just keep your eyes peeled for the others.”

“Oooh.” Sora made a low whine and shook her arms out. “Okay, just jump in,” she told herself.

“Anytime now,” Tai teased. He’d barely gotten the words out of his mouth when Sora gave him a shove, forcing him into the rain.

“WOOO that’s COLD!”

Closing his eyes, Matt stepped in next, wordless as his hair immediately sunk low across his forehead. Sora gave a couple bounces on her toes and took off after them, squealing as soon as the water hit her back.

Both Ken and TK remained. The three of them stood there for what seemed like an eternity, staring at the rain.

Ken offered his jacket and Kari took it when he insisted, pulling the blazer tight around her chest. He let out a low, heavy breath before he plunged through the wall of water, leaving her and TK alone on the edge of memories.

Kari could feel him watching her as her eyes drifted into the rain. The others had become nearly invisible. Tai’s voice was small through the heavy hush of the downpour and TK’s soft gaze remained.

“I remember looking for you that day,” Kari said. “When Davis and I…” She touched her eye, could feel the cool wet of rain on her cheek. “It was just like this.”

“Huh.”

She looked at him, watched him harden beside her in a way that she never thought he could. He tugged the rim of his baseball cap low over his bruised brow, like it could keep his emotions locked inside.

She turned to the storm. “I kept imagining that you would come home and we’d be okay,” she said, “But we weren’t okay, were we?”

“I guess not.”

Kari looked up again, but his eyes were still hidden from view. “You always keep your distance,” she said. “Even when you’re right beside me.”

TK shook his head, a small smile tugging at his cheek, everything but happy. “Sounds like someone else I know.”

Kari gave a quiet laugh and warm water gathered in the crease of her frozen cheek. “You’ve got me there.”

TK’s fingers reached then, curling along the creases of hers. Her breathe seized, catching in her chest. They traced her palm and she swore she could feel his fingerprints,  everything that made him, slipping over her hand.

Together they stepped into the rain.

…

* * *

 

...

“I am _not_ getting in there.”

Yolei stood safely on shore while Davis dropped his backpack into the swan boat. The entire thing seemed to sink further into the gray muck.

“How could you not want to ride in a giant swan?”

Yolei eyed it suspiciously.

“Look, I’m starving,” Davis said, opening his backpack to peer inside. “And right now our choices are Doritos, gummy worms, or my sweaty jersey. So I’m gonna see if we can catch some fish.”

“With what?”

Davis dug further into his bag and then left the boat to search the shore.

“Seriously, Davis. That thing is probably going to spring a leak the moment we get it into the water.” Yolei cringed when Davis pulled his foot from the muck with a loud slurp.

“Aha!” He turned around with two gray sticks and bent them over his knee, testing them for sturdiness. “Fishin poles. I got lines and hooks in my bag and…” He gave an exuberant dart back to the boat, shoes slurping the whole way. Reaching down, he pulled up the gummy worms and gave them a gleeful shake. “Hope the fish like sugar!”

Yolei rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to talk you out of this, am I?”

“Nope.” Davis put his supplies on the seat. “C’mon, we’ll get a better look around from out here. And maybe that big thing in the woods doesn’t know how to swim.”

Yolei turned over her shoulder as if just speaking of it could conjure it back.

“Fine,” she said, adjusting the beach bag on her shoulder. She bent over,  pulling off her pig slippers even though they were already covered in muck. She gave one a toss and Davis had to rescue it from the mud.

“I wish I had said something really outrageous just then,” he said.

Yolei raised a brow.

“Because, y’know, then you coulda said ‘when pigs fly’ and then the pig—” Sighing, Davis tossed the slipper in the boat. “Nevermind.”

Yolei took off the other slipper and tossed it at him. “You are such a dork.”

“When pigs fly.” He caught it, then frowning, said, “Nope, that didn’t work.”

“How bout ‘we’ll find the others’?” she asked.

“Too late, the pig has flown,” said Davis. “Come help me with this, will ya?”

Yolei cringed, letting her toes touch down in gray mud. “Oh, ew, ew, ew.”

Davis made his way to the other side.  “On the count of three, we push and then jump in, kay?”

“Okay.” Yolei pressed her hands against the neck of the swan and felt her feet sink further into the muck.

“One. Two. Three. PUSH!”

The boat slid easily against the slimy shore and was already gliding in the water. Davis hurdled over the side while Yolei clambered through the water after him, feet sinking deep into the muck beneath the surface.

“Wait!” she cried.

He pedaled backwards in an attempt to halt the boat’s progress, but she was already thigh deep, the hem of her skirt soaking in stagnant water. The swan kept drifting.

“Would you stop?”

“I’m tryin! Just get in!”

Yolei grabbed the side of the boat with her forearms and jumped, heaving herself up. The swan rocked violently to the side.

“Woah,” Davis yelled, leaning the opposite direction to keep them steady. “Careful.”

Yolei clobbered over the side and her muddy foot landed directly in his lap.

“Ugh!”

Righting herself, she purposefully ground the mud into his pants. “Serves you right.”

Davis grunted and started pedaling, steering the boat toward the middle of the lake. Yolei carefully dangled her feet over the edge, shaking mud off into the water. Scooping water into her hands, she began washing dirt and debris from her legs.  She turned when Davis let out a loud puff of air and noticed pink spreading under the tan of his cheeks.

“Could use a little help pedaling,” he grumbled.

Yolei slid her hands over her legs, pushing off water, then gave her fingers a flick, spraying Davis’s ear which he instantly rubbed against his shoulder.

“Knock it off and take over,” he told her, reaching for his bag.

Yolei stood to take a seat and the boat rocked violently to the side.

“Easy!”

“Sorry,” she muttered. She pedaled while Davis began wrapping the line around a stick he had thrown into the bottom of the boat, pulling it with his teeth to tie a knot. After he had made what looked like a hobo’s fishing pole, the boat broke free of the cove, giving them a clear view of the world around them.

The lake was lined with gray. Miles of colorless trees spread past the shore and deep gray mountains rose beyond. Yolei watched through cracked lenses, waiting.

“Do you think they’re out there?” she asked, squinting. Her head was starting to hurt and for the first time in her life she wished she had the guts to wear contacts.

Davis gave his string a sharp tug and bounced the stick up and down. “The fish?”

“No, doofus, I mean our friends.”

He shrugged. “Must be. Who’s memory do you think this is?”

“Matt’s probably,” she said. “TK said he loved this stupid boat. ”

Davis snorted and stabbed a gummy worm with a hook. “I think they all rode in it at some point.”

Yolei stopped pedaling and the swan kept drifting. Cupping her mouth, she screamed as loud as she could, nearly causing Davis to hook his hand.

“Maaa-at!” Her voice echoed across the water with no return. “Taiiiii! Soooraaaa! Miiimiii! Anybody?!”

Davis raised a brow, but they both waited, silent. When there was no reply, he cast his makeshift line complete with sugary bait into the water.

“Keeennn!”

“Pretty sure its not his memory,” Davis said.

“Teeekaaayy!”

“You’re scarin the fish.”

“There aren’t any fish here,” Yolei said, reaching over to grab the bag of gummy worms. She popped one into her mouth. “We’re wasting time.”

Davis frowned. “You’re wasting my bait.”

She picked up another one and put it between her lips, slurping it up slow.

“Give me the worms!”

“Nope.”

Davis stood to grab the bag of candy from her hands and jerked sharply to the side when she pulled them from his reach. Before either of them could do anything to stop it, the boat tipped sideways, throwing them and all their supplies into the lake.

Yolei sunk. She had screamed at Davis as they went over and barely had a chance to take a breath before she plummeted through the water. She tried to swim, but she kept sinking. Something was literally dragging her down. For a moment, all her brain registered was the monster, that whatever mysterious thing had lurked in the woods was lurking beneath them and had grabbed her by the chest, forcing her to the depths.

Then she remembered the beach bag.  She thrashed in a violent panic and by sheer luck, she slipped her neck out from under the strap. Kicking with all she had, she swam and just when she was sure she was going to suck in water, she broke the surface. Her lungs burst, heaving in air and for a moment she sank back down, too weak to swim and took in some water.  She broke back up, choking and coughing.

A second later she heard Davis surface. A million expressions passed over his face when he caught sight of her.

“Holy shit, Yolei,” he gasped, panic lilting his voice up an octave. He swam toward her, hauling his backpack over his shoulder.  “Where were you? You scared the shit outta me.”

She sucked in another heavy breath, still wheezing and managed to calm her swimming enough to search for something to grab onto.  She could barely see without her glasses (she must have lost them in the water) but she could make out the large white mass that was the swan boat,  moving slowly out of their reach.

“The boat,” she gasped.  

Davis turned from her and instantly started swimming. He grabbed ahold of the side before she’d managed to move. Seeing her struggle, he hoisted himself into the boat and managed to turn it around, pedaling toward her.

Yolei flailed for the edge and once she had it, she had nothing left. She hung there, weak and useless and blind.

“My glasses,” she weeped.

Davis reached down, carefully keeping his weight centered. Yolei felt a sharp tug on the back of her head as he ripped out a couple of her hairs.

“Ouch! What the—oh.” He handed the glasses to her, complete with violet hairs caught in the joint. “Thanks.” She placed them on her face. Water gathered along the cracks in the glass, leaving little drops and rivers across her vision.

“Can you get up?” he asked.

Yolei shook her head, feeling pathetic.

“Here, give me your hand.” Then, laying carefully across the pedals, Davis reached for her. Their palms slid together and Yolei was sure her fingernails dug gouges into his knuckles when he tugged. Then his hands were floundering, yanking her up by the arms, the ribs, the waist of her skirt until they were pressed together, panting on the bottom of the boat.

The swan rocked back and forth, swaying as they tried to catch their breath. Yolei watched weakly over Davis's wet mop of hair: sky and water, sky and water until she caught sight of something floating. Then she burst out laughing even though she was sure her lungs were too weak.

Davis quickly untangled himself from her. “What?” he asked, completely red.

“Tampons.”

He saw them when he turned around: a horde of tampons floating like lily pads along the lake’s surface and Yolei’s pig slippers in the center, half drowned.

Yolei pulled her skirt back down when he collapsed into the seat.

“How many did we pack?” he asked, giving a loud snort.

Yolei slid into her own seat, body pure gelatin. “Enough.”

“Gross.”

Davis insisted they use his fishing pole to rescue the pig slippers. They laid dirty and sopping on the bottom of the boat while Yolei closed her eyes, feeling the cool breeze rise goosebumps on her skin. Her glasses had fogged so badly, they were useless and Davis pedaled the entire way to shore without complaining.

“I thought I killed you,” he told her when the swan touched down in the muck.

“You wish,” she said, trying to find the energy to stand. Why did almost drowning make you so tired?

She slumped out of the boat, ignoring his pout and landed, ankle deep into the gray mud. It was deeper on this side of the lake, sucking her foot in like quicksand and the moment she tried to unstick herself she went backwards, landing butt first in the muck.

Tears bit at the corner of her eyes. She thought of their supplies at the bottom of the lake, the tampons all ruined, how all she wanted was a hot shower and cheesecake, and how small the two of them were, alone in this world. A loud chuckle burst out of her tears and she laughed, half sobbing and so ridiculously both that Davis looked at her like she had lost her mind. He helped her to her feet and when he giggled about her buttprint in the mud, she reached up with her hand, smearing it on his face.

“Ugh, Yolei!”

Her laughter took over as he wiped the stinky muck away with the back of his arm. Then, when he bent over, grabbing a handful of mud in his palm, she squealed.

“No, no no no no no, don’t you NO!”

Muck flung into her arms as they shielded her face.

“You jackass!”

Yolei reached down, grabbed her own ammunition and sought revenge, pinning one of Davis’s arms to his side so she had better access to his head. He grabbed her wrist and they wrestled until they were back on the ground. Davis quickly overpowered her and she surrendered when he succeeded in drawing a smiley face on her forehead. They both fell back, soaked and stinking and filthy.

When their giggles finally ceased, the world went silent.

Yolei sat up, rubbing mud from her face and watched the sun begin to set. It’s rays danced off the surface of the water, glimmering in the ripples. If the world around them hadn’t been devoid of color, it would have been beautiful.

Davis pushed himself off the ground, shaking mud from his hands and Yolei leaned back before he could stand, catching her head on his shoulder and watching the world.

After a moment, she heard his stomach growl and reality came flooding back like water into her lungs.

“I’m tired,” she told him.

“Me too.”

…

* * *

 

...

As the time passed, he tried to remember, but they only came in bits and pieces.

Her soft eyes, the smell of her, the way she had rocked him to sleep at night, tickling his cheek with red hair. His baritone, the rich vocabulary of unknown words, read from a book far too advanced for a child yet to talk, his dark eyes.

In that terrible moment, when he had felt Animamon rip his soul in two, Izzy had seen his birth parents. A memory so old Izzy didn’t realize it had been his. He thought of it now and wondered if he had always remembered and just assumed it was part of a film he’d seen or a passing dream. He wondered if Animamon could bring them back, the bit of his soul they touched. Or if maybe their memory was imprinted on the part that was missing, decaying in some world beyond.

It hadn’t been until he had been torn apart that Izzy had even been sure he had a soul. He had always assumed _the person_ resided in the brain and sadly, when the brain was gone, so were they. But if that were so, how could he exist outside himself? And more importantly, how could he exist inside something else?

Izzy’s eyes squeezed shut in the darkness.

Was anything he ever thought real at all?

 


	11. Purpose

Is it possible to like people too much?

Sometimes I think I like people so much that I hurt them. I sort of want to keep them all for myself, like a little collection of dolls that love me back.

But is it really love if you demand it? I wonder that sometimes too. If my little collection exists because I'm so blunt that people can't respond with anything but what I want, even if it's not good for them. Even if it's not good for me.

Palmon assures me that I'm kind and loveable and good and I wonder if she remembers all those times I tried to mold her into what I wanted her to be.

Now that I'm here, I wonder if my sincerity has just become a mask for what's hiding beneath.

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

**Purpose**

* * *

The worst thing about peace is the lack of purpose.

When time passed and our excursions to Digiworld remained uneventful, I started searching for my own.

After the final battle with Myotismon, Tai insisted we patrol and rebuild Digiworld for as long as we were needed. Years passed. Then, when Joe was struggling with college essays and his senior thesis, he made the off-handed comment that maybe we should pull-out and leave the digimon to govern themselves.

"I mean, we can still visit," he had said when the initial response had been no.

But slowly, it just happened. It was our partners who kept things in check, and suddenly we were kids again, just on call, until we realized we weren't needed at all.

Gennai went silent. The small skirmishes among tribes of digimon no longer needed the intervention of human hands. The digidestined have become nothing more than a memory that accompanies destruction, even if we weren't the ones who caused it.

I think Tai has had the most trouble letting go. He seems to visit Digiworld more often even though he has less time.

"Is it weird that sometimes I feel like the portal should be closed?" he asks me, hanging upside down off the side of my bed, a hoard of homework lying abandoned by his feet. "Like, if we aren't supposed to be there fighting something, then shouldn't it be over? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to lose Agumon, but it's kinda weird, right? We're still straddling these two worlds with nothing to do."

"Maybe we're supposed to discover our own purpose now," I say. My pen halts over an equation. "There's so much we still haven't explored. Take digicode, for instance." I swing my chair into my desk and unfreeze my computer screen, bringing up image upon image of digicode I've collected. It's a project I've been working on for some time and there's a code from another world there too, waiting for me to pick it apart.

"Half the digimon don't know a thing about it," I explain, "but it's a part of the actual life force there. A living word. Imagine if we could write it, if we could harness just half of that type of power, the possibilities are exponential."

Tai grins. "I love when you talk mad scientist to me."

I smile. "I'm serious, I wouldn't mind researching it for a living. If anyone would pay me, that is. I think we could do a lot of good with the discoveries we could uncover there, now that we aren't spending our entire time in Digiworld fighting."

"Sometimes I miss fighting," Tai says. He crunches up effortlessly, until he's sitting straight on my bed again. He looks at me, like he expects me to feel the same. I do to some extent, because what amount of research could top that required to save the world. But I just wait and he keeps talking.

"That sounds bad, doesn't it?" He starts fiddling with his pen, eyes glancing over the math problems waiting for him. "It's not like I want a war or anything, but I kind of feel like I'm losing it… who I was then. I guess I just want to know it's okay to move on. That some big baddie isn't just waiting to come out of the woodwork to try to take over the world, ya know?"

Sighing, Tai hands over his workbook, asking me to check his work. After a minute, I give it back with a couple of corrections.

"Do you ever feel like you don't have a purpose?" he asks.

For some reason, even though the digicode is still glaring across the screen of my laptop, waiting to be brought to life, I think of my parents, the ones I can't remember, of people who died too soon.

"Sometimes."

* * *

 

The rain never let up.

TK wondered if it would rain forever here, if the replicas of their homes would drown beneath a great flood, if it would eventually cover the earth. Maybe time and erosion could destroy mortar and the memories they held. The ones that grasped Kari's stare like a vortex, leaving her blank.

"Nobody's home," Matt said when he and Ken reappeared in the elevator. The rest of their group was huddled beneath the shelter of the main floor, shivering and dripping.

"It looks like Davis was here though," said Ken. "The clothes he wore to the party are in his room. They're still damp."

"That's great, but we still don't have a where," Tai said. "All that tells us is the who and the what."

TK ripped his eyes from Kari. "That Davis was here and he's possibly naked?"

Tai gave an amused snort and shook his hands into his wet hair, spraying water. "Hopefully not. Naked, I mean. Here would be good. Hopefully he's still close."

"Do you think Yolei was with him?" asked Sora.

"Hard to say," said Ken. "I hope so."

"Well, let's keep looking," Tai said, giving Kari's shoulder a rub. "We'll hit our place next, kay?"

Kari gave him a small smile and TK absently tugged on the rim of his cap, hiding the strain of her eyes from view.

Tai stepped away from his sister and pulled open the door, revealing the loud hush of the storm.

Sora slicked her hair behind her ears. "I hate rain."

"Since when?" Tai asked.

"Today. Definitely since today." She turned, eyes fluttering over Matt until they found Ken. "You didn't see an umbrella up there, did you?"

"Davis never uses one," TK said before Ken had a chance. Even though his hat hid Kari from his view, he could feel her gaze fall on him. He wondered why he kept talking about Davis without really talking about him at all.

"I didn't," Ken confirmed. "Sorry."

"It's okay," said Sora. "I mean, a lot of good it'd do anyway, since we're already sopping wet. I hope no one catches cold."

The mere mention of a cold turned on Tai's big brother mode. He paused at the door. "You feelin okay, Kari?"

Nodding, she pulled Ken's jacket tightly around herself, even though it had already soaked through. "Just cold, like everyone else."

"Let's get home, see if there's some dry clothes there you can change into," said Tai.

"Okay." Her voice was hollow and distracted. Then, before she could step into the rain after her brother, TK forced his hat over her head.

"What are you—"

"It'll help keep the rain out of your face," TK said, tugging the rim over her brows to keep from meeting her eyes. He stepped into the downpour and jogged away from her like a coward until he caught up to his brother's long stride. Matt's face was stretched and grim.

"You okay?" TK asked, voice low under the water pounding pavement.

Matt squinted at him through the rain. "Are you?"

TK smiled, showing teeth. "I'm wet."

"You're getting too good at that."

"At what?"

"Pretending you're happy." Matt's eyes shifted sideways as they hurried along, puddles splashing up their calves. "I almost believed it."

"You should try it sometime. Smiling. They say just using the muscles can change your mood."

"Hm."

"I'm not making it up."

"Never said you were," Matt said, hand patting the lump of the cigarette pack in his pocket.

"Do you think we're cursed?" TK asked, eyes following his brother's line of sight to Sora's back. "Like in relationships. Because of Mom and Dad?"

Matt frowned.

"I mean not really cursed." TK lifted a hand to shield his eyes. "Not magically. Just like mentally. Maybe we just don't know how to do relationships because they didn't, you know? Like a hereditary curse. Maybe it's in our DNA."

They turned the corner before Matt spoke. "Maybe." He gave a long sigh. "You're still young, TK."

TK heard his mother's voice again, riding behind Matt's words. He peered over his shoulder, barely finding Kari through the storm. His baseball cap hung low over her eyes. He wondered if they would've been okay if they had just waited. After they'd had a chance to grow up, see other people, maybe after she'd dated Davis or that guy from TK's basketball team that always told him how lucky he was.

Maybe if he had just listened to his mother, he wouldn't have ruined things with the right one at the wrong time. He felt sick and angry and stupid for trying.

"So are you," TK said bitterly, even though Matt was technically an adult now.

Matt gave a low laugh, the curve of his mouth twisting up. He wiped wet hair from his eyes.

"Is it weird that I haven't felt like a kid for a long time?" TK asked.

Matt's mouth went flat and he stopped walking even though Tai's apartment was less than a block away. His hand ruffled TK's hair and then his arm hooked around his neck, pulling him close. Even though they stood nearly the same height now, TK felt small huddled beneath the gray sky, the rain pounding on their backs.

"No," Matt said. "It's not weird at all."

Something about his brother's soft tone broke through a wall TK hadn't realized he'd put up. He thought of Patamon, of Digiworld, of the way so many things had fallen apart without the urgency of saving the world on their shoulders.

"It kinda sucks," he said.

"Yeah," said Matt. "It kinda does."

* * *

 

They had been around half of Odaiba and found nothing.

Joe watched the buildings fly by his window and could feel the drag of deep water pulling beneath the car. Mimi was squinting through the windshield, the wipers bouncing at full speed across it, trying to keep up with the rain. She had insisted she drive.

"I've had my license for months now," she told him proudly when they backed away from the bent street light. She drove for awhile before Joe reminded her she was on the wrong side of the road.

"Not in America," she told him. "Or you know, a world without traffic. Or laws. Or cops."

They had stopped at the Kamiya apartment next where Mimi insisted she go in alone. She had come back disappointed and distracted, flushing when Joe asked her what was wrong.

"See anything, Cody?" he asked to give her space. If something were bothering Mimi, he was sure he'd hear about it when she was ready.

Cody didn't have a chance to answer before the tires screeched as the car hydroplaned across deep water, swerving to a stop. A wall of water splashed against the window. At least now Joe understood how Yolei and Davis had crashed into a pole.

His hands braced the dashboard, heart racing. "Mimi, what—"

"It's Sora!"

And sure enough, it was. Sora's red hair was barely visible in the storm. Mimi scrambled from her seat and flew into the rain, shouting Sora's name. Joe and Cody followed and found the group soaked and shivering. Joe started counting and came up short.

"I can't believe it's you," Mimi was crying, arms wrapped around Sora's neck.

Sora hugged back, smiling at Joe over Mimi's shoulder. "I'm so glad you found us."

"Have you guys seen Yolei or Davis?" asked Cody.

Ken shook his head. "We found Davis's clothes at his place, but that's the only sign of them we've seen. We're hoping they're still in the city somewhere."

Joe felt his stomach plummet, thinking of the two of them, still alone. "We found Yolei's shoes in her apartment," he said. We're pretty sure they were there not that long ago."

"I'm sorry," Cody was saying to Ken, already bowing low. "I left them, I didn't-"

Joe put a hand on his shoulder. "We all did."

"If we had known," Mimi said, voice lilting as she pulled away from Sora.

"We'll find them," said Tai and Mimi turned to him, staring so hard that Joe was sure she'd hold him to it.

Shielding his eyes, Matt said, "Let's get out of this rain."

"We were going to check my place," Tai said. "Get Kari some dry clothes."

"There's nothing there," said Mimi, voice stiff. "I was going to borrow something, but the drawers were all empty."

"How 'bout the fridge?" Tai asked.

"You just ate," said Sora.

"That was hours ago."

"I'm pretty sure the only thing I found wasn't edible," Mimi said. "It wiggled when you touched it."

"Ah, mom's tofu loaf," Tai said. "Good times we had that day. The toilet and me."

"Where have you guys checked so far?" Joe asked. TK filled him in. About Machinedramon's city, the wintery side of Odaiba, Matt's apartment and the ice that led them to a wall of rain. Cody told them about Primary Village, summer at the cemetery and the border of clouds waiting in the center.

"Sounds like together we've hit most of Odaiba," Tai said.

"Do you think we missed them?" Kari asked.

"Maybe. Where else would they go? School?"

"Possibly," Ken said, voice strained. "Or Tamachi, if they were looking for me."

"Alright, so let's hit the school. We can check the digiport, (fat chance there, but worth a try) then Tamachi?"

Everyone seemed to nod in agreement and all eyes went back to the car with the front bumper missing.

"You didn't happen to find a working bus, did you?" TK asked.

"We checked the parking lot before we left," Cody said. "Everything was locked."

"Great."

"Time to get cozy then," said Sora.

Mimi had already grabbed her hand. "Shotgun! You can sit with me. Joe, you drive."

Joe mouthed a thank you, knowing she'd saved him from the mortification of squeezing someone on his lap and even more grateful Mimi hadn't insisted on sharing a seat with him. Turning red, Joe ducked back into the car while everyone figured out how to squeeze in.

"Nope," Tai was saying. "Kari can sit with me. Don't give me that look."

"I didn't," TK said.

"Tai," Kari scolded.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" asked Matt.

"I dunno, but you snooze you lose. Or is it Cody and Ken that lose? Sorry guys."

Joe turned back to find a pile of people. TK was as thin as a pencil between Ken and Tai, who had Kari pushed as far into the window as he could. Cody was squashed into the other window, face hidden by Matt's torso.

Matt had been forced to squeeze one butt cheek each on Cody and Ken's knees. His pale complexion was long gone. Even the tips of his ears had gone red.

"Pull up your seat," he grumbled to Mimi.

Mimi reached down and the seat rolled back into his knees. "Woops."

Sora tried not to laugh.

"You did that on purpose," said Matt.

"Sorry," Mimi cooed as she pulled the lever again and Matt gave them a shove with his boot, pushing them forward and himself back until Ken and Cody turned red.

"Well, this is awkward," said Joe.

Mimi burst into laughter. "Right? I wish my phone worked." She clicked her fingers at the backseat, pretending to take a picture. "Omigosh, Kari, that hat. You two are the cutest. I knew you'd work things out."

The awkward silence that followed prompted Joe to start the car. "Everyone buckled up?"

Kari handed the hat back to TK who wordlessly yanked it over his eyes.

"No," said Matt.

"Well, uh, try not to obey the laws of physics if I crash then," Joe said.

"Joe." Tai was just a big long grin in the rearview. "I missed you."

Joe frowned. "Someone remind me never to let Tai drag me to a party again."

There were a loud chorus of agreement, echoing under the pounding of rain on the roof.

* * *

 

He stunk.

Like bad. Davis gave himself a sniff and his nose gave an involuntary crinkle. He was pretty sure even the worst round of suicides drills hadn't caused a stench this bad.

"Do I smell?" he asked Yolei, lifting up his arm to her face as they walked under the darkening sky.

"Please get your armpit away from me."

"Great, perfect," Davis groaned and started talking to a tree. "Hey, Kari. So I'm sorry I sorta liked kissing you and was a douche to TK and an all around shitty friend, how bout a dumpster hug?"

"Are you seriously worrying about smelling good for Kari right now?"

Davis kicked at a root. "Maybe."

"You smell like pondscum and B.O."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

Davis took to watching the little wet pigs on Yolei's feet, sad and sopping. They had turned a dark matted gray and made a weird slurping noise every time she took a step. His eyes traveled up her filthy legs to the short hem of her skirt and quickly jumped to her face. Her broken glasses were skewed and her lips were blue and trembling. He sort of wished he had something dry to give her, but his shirt was festering in his bag along with everything else wet.

"We should make camp," he said. "Get a fire going."

She gave a nod. "Let's find somewhere not covered in vines."

It felt like an eternity before they found a clearing and Davis was so exhausted, he plopped down right next to an old fire pit before he noticed it was an old fire pit. A small opening was in a boulder nearby, just big enough to be considered a cave.

"Someone was here," Yolei said, shoving her filthy slippers into the ashes, turning them over.

"Like recently?"

"I think so, I mean it could just be a memory too, but…" Yolei sunk beside him, looking like death.

Davis thought of how long she'd been under the water, of the panic he'd felt coming up for air and finding nothing but a teetering swan and silence.

"You rest," he told her, forcing himself off the log he'd collapsed on. "I'll check things out. Grab some firewood."

"Don't-"

"I'm not going far. Chill."

"Fine." Yolei slowly started to peel her damp sweater from her arms. "Oh God, I smell like you."

Davis turned away when her shirt sunk down with her sweater, showing off an entire cup of her bra.

"Nice bra," he said.

There was a low huff and then the shuffle of clothing. "God, it's freezing."

"Hope that thing is padded. Ow!" Davis whipped around after the stick Yolei threw bounced off his back.

She glared at him. "Pervert."

"What? Just sayin'. I mean, mine could cut glass." He gave his nipples a tweak.

Yolei laughed and was quickly cut off by her own chattering teeth. "Hey, you don't happen to have a screwdriver in your bag do you?"

Davis shook his head and then, suddenly remembering, patted his pockets and pulled out a pocket knife. "Will this work?"

"Maybe." Yolei held out her hand and he handed it to her. Then, after pulling her D-terminal from her sweater pocket, she set to stabbing it.

"The hell?"

She held it up until he could make out the tiny screws she'd begun to touch with tip of the knife. "I'm going to see if I can figure out what's wrong with these. Now go get some firewood before we freeze."

"Yessir." Davis had to dodge another stick. "Don't waste the kindling!"

She flicked up a finger at him. Not a nice one. Davis pulled down an eyelid.

"Real mature."

"Says the stove to the pot."

"It's the pot to the kettle."

"What?"

"The pot to the kettle. Because they're both black." She frowned when he stared blankly at her, mostly to piss her off. "Because… just go, Davis."

"Aye aye." He dodged under vines into the gray forest, grumbling about kettles and stoves and girls always trying to order him around. After he'd managed to scramble through a patch of thorns and obscure street signs, he found a downed limb, old and dry. He reached down to break away a piece and caught sight of something else, lying mere steps away.

Upon further inspection, he stumbled backwards, giving a surprised yell of "Holy shit!"

Davis didn't register the sound of Yolei's voice shouting for him until she was already at his back, shrill and sharp in his ears.

"That is not funny! I thought something—" She shoved his bare shoulder. "Why are you are such a jackass?"

"Yolei, shut up," he said.

"Um, no, how bout-" Her words were cut off by a shriek when Davis moved to the side to give her a view of what he was staring at. "Omigod! What is that thing?"

A mass of flesh lay motionless on the ground, nearly four times the size of a full grown man. It was hard to make out its features in the darkening night, but something about its face was horribly grotesque and human. Its limbs were too large for its body and its skin was a sickly gray, blending into the foliage.

"I don't know." Davis swallowed. "But it's dead."

"How do you know?"

"It's not breathing." He looked around and picked up a stick, poking the body.

"Don't!" Yolei hissed.

The stick had the same give as that time he'd poked at roadkill as a kid, hoping the squirrel would hop back to life. Stiff and soft, all at once. He felt sick.

Yolei let out a sigh of relief. "Well, it's not a digimon."

Davis raised an eyebrow. "Why not?"

"Digimon don't… die like this. They turn into data, remember?"

"Then what is it?"

They both stared at the corpse as the last bit of daylight fell beneath the horizon and a more haunting question plagued their minds.

What killed it?

* * *

 

After they had checked all their schools and found nothing but dead computers and empty halls, they piled back into the car to head to Tamachi.

Matt had managed to snag the back seat first and TK promptly sat on his lap, claiming, "It's okay. We're brothers."

TK laughed when Matt sucked in a breath over every bump. Joe kept apologizing and the rain kept beating down.

"Pays to be the youngest," TK said, winking at Kari when her elbow took a hard land in Tai's sternum. They both laughed at their brothers' expense, their tension melting in the awkwardness.

Matt caught Sora sneaking amused peaks back at them and they met glances more than once, her smile only fading when his didn't show.

Mimi did a full body turn. "Such a sourpuss," she said, clicking her tongue at him.

"You try being jammed back here."

"No thank you." Then, wiggling her bottom into Sora's lap, Mimi cooed, "I definitely have the best seat."

Laughing, Sora gave her a playful shove.

Matt glared out the window, hating the way his face went hot.

"How long does it usually take to get to Tamachi?" Tai asked, sounding every bit as uncomfortable as Matt felt.

Ken peered over Cody, trying to make himself small. "The train takes about a half hour. By car, hard to say, without traffic and streetlights we'll probably be there in ten."

Out the window, the arches of Rainbow Bridge came into view, dull and hazy through the storm. The rain was so heavy and the sun was so low that when they crossed it seemed as if they were driving over darkness, like the bay below didn't exist.

It took about as long to get to Tamachi as Ken predicted. When TK launched himself out of the car into the rain Matt followed, oddly happy to be soaked again.

The Ichijouji apartment was neat and tidy and devoid of life.

Matt stood at the foyer, eyes gliding over the family photos lining the walls and the shrine to Ken's brother, who was no older than Matt had been when they were shipped off to summer camp and the digital world. Ken would have been TK's age then. Just eight when he lost his brother. No wonder the darkness had been able to manipulate him so easily. It had him from the inside out.

All it ever needed to do to Matt is convince him he was alone.

"I don't think they were here," Ken said and Matt quickly tore his eyes from the photo and his memories.

"So, what next?" asked TK.

"We call it a night," said Tai, plopping onto the sofa. "We'll head to the campground in the morning."

"Tai," Sora said, "we can't leave them here."

"I'm not planning to. The portal's a long shot anyway, but we can't just sit around waiting. At least we know they were here, safe. Davis is a big boy, he can take care of himself. Yolei too. We just have to leave a good communication trail for them to follow. They'll catch up eventually." He drummed his fingers against the coffee table. "We know Izzy's in trouble. I hate to say it, but he needs to be our biggest priority right now."

"So what happens if we get to the campground and there _is_ a portal?" Joe asked. "Do you really think it'll lead us home?"

"I think it's the best chance we have," said Tai. His eyes wandered to Matt, who gave a nod of approval and then to Ken.

"Tai's right," Ken said. "If this place replicates our memories, my guess is the worst it can do is lead us to Digiworld… or the Digiworld that exists here."

"Do you think Izzy's program is building them both at once?" asked Cody. "Our world and Digiworld?"

"That's what I don't understand," said Ken. "How we're jumping from one to the next…the program wasn't meant to work like that. It shouldn't be able to build two worlds simultaneously. But, as digidestined, our memories are more complicated than most, so maybe.

"Izzy's plan was always to extract memories instrumentally. After he worked out the kinks in the program, we were going to come up with some sort of algorithm that worked to pick the right sorts of memories from the host without having to examine their entire subconscious. It's the only way the program could have been used ethically."

Ken opened a linen closet in the hallway, searching it.

"See?" said Mimi, knee bumping Joe's. "I knew Izzy wouldn't do that."

Joe turned pink. "I told you I agreed with you."

Ken pulled out two towels, one covered with what looked like a million cartoon caterpillars, the other had a pair of scissors, drawn in blocky pixels with writing Matt couldn't make out above.

"Hey, I know that towel," Tai said.

"I think it's Yolei's," Ken said. "Not sure why it's here."

"It is, I got it for her," Tai said, laughing a little and making scissors with his fingers. "Control X."

Ken handed one to Kari and the other to Sora and Mimi. "Sorry I don't have more," he told the rest of them.

Mimi paused towel-drying her hair. "Wait, that thing didn't just happen to Ken."

"What thing?" asked Tai.

"The thing that happened to Cody," she said and Matt saw her eyes narrow, losing their patience. "Ask him."

Tai seemed to notice too, just a short falter in his countenance before he turned to Cody, waiting for an explanation.

"Someone searched my memories," Cody said. "Whenever we found a gap in this one."

"Did that happen to you?" Tai asked Sora.

Matt let his eyes shift to her. Mimi had handed over the towel and it sat, draped over Sora's lap, wringing beneath her hands.

"No," Sora said, "not that I noticed."

"You would have noticed," Cody said.

"Maybe because Cody remembered what was missing," Ken said, "Or he's the most recent source."

"I haven't really noticed much missing. Just things looking weird," Sora said.

They all fell silent, tense thought filling the space.

"I don't think someone is just using Izzy's program to build a world," Cody said finally. "They're using it to read our minds."

"What do they want?" asked Kari, head and shoulders shrouded by the worm towel.

The question remained rhetorical because no one had an answer.

Tai made his way to the kitchen. "Well, at least there's more than tofu loaf here. Let's eat."

Mimi volunteered to cook when Ken, after searching for a cookbook no one had remembered, admitted he was useless without a recipe. Mimi gave Matt a long expectant look, which he chose to ignore.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" he asked Ken, gesturing to the balcony. He heard a light sniff from Sora and tried to ignore it too.

Ken led Matt to the sliding door, unlocking it. "Mind if I join you?"

"Sure," Matt said. The door shut closed behind them. He pulled the pack from his pocket and bounced it against his palm. Rain poured over the rooftop like a waterfall, drowning out the voices inside. Matt put a cigarette between his teeth and offered the pack to Ken, who gave it serious consideration before accepting.

"Thanks."

Matt lit them up.

If it was Ken's first cigarette, Matt wouldn't have been able to tell. He took a long slow puff without so much as a flinch and sat down at the bistro table, running a hand through his hair.

Matt leaned against the balcony wall and inhaled, letting the smoke wisp into his lungs. A cloud settled in his mind, just enough to calm it. He glanced back through the glass, catching Sora's glare. Tai sat beside her and gave Matt a little wave before talking her ear off about something.

Laughing to himself, Matt said, "Sora's really going to hate me now."

"I'm sorry," Ken said. "I didn't have to—"

"No, it's fine. You look like you could use it. I know I do." Matt took a long drag and flicked ash over the balcony.

They stayed like that for some time, smoking and silent.

"It's not your fault, you know," Matt said and when Ken looked at him, he knew he understood. "We all agreed to split up."

Ken frowned. "I never should have left them. I guess I just… I never really felt like I belonged to your group. I thought I could be useful." His hand wandered to where his useless D-terminal sat in his back pocket. "Yolei was scared. I told her I was coming, right before..."

"Don't worry about what Tai said," Matt told him. "He wants to find them too. We all do. But he's right, we can't wait for them here."

Nodding, Ken finished off his cigarette. Matt handed him another and Sora came storming to the sliding door. It slammed open.

"Can I talk to you?"

Ken immediately slid the cigarette back into the pack.

"One cigarette isn't going to kill him, Sora," Matt said.

"He's just a kid."

"Ken's no more of a kid than we are."

Matt swore Sora's eyes could set worlds on fire.

"You shouldn't be smoking either," she told him.

"It's okay, I'm done," Ken said. "I'll go see if I can help Mimi in the kitchen." He ducked between them and Sora shut the door. When she whipped around to face Matt, she burnt him to the ground.

"You told Tai we slept together?"

And suddenly Matt was choking on the smoke he'd grown used to. He caught sight of Tai through the window, ducking sheepishly away.

Heat prickled over Matt's neck, rising up and down every part of him. "Uh…"

Sora blinked, a few rapid successions. "Why would you do that?"

"I…I didn't, I mean I don't," Matt stuttered, caught completely off guard. Because honestly he had no idea why he'd ever told Tai, of all people. "I don't know. He asked me once. I mean, he's my best friend. What was I supposed to tell him?"

"That it's none of his business!"

"We were together four years, I think everyone assumed—"

"I don't care!"

"What, you didn't tell anyone? Not even Mimi?"

"I didn't." She started blinking again. "I didn't tell anyone."

It took him an eternity to find his voice. "Why?"

"It was special, Matt. It was just for us."

He remembered, every bit he'd memorized, red hair brushing bare freckled shoulders, an image he wished he could eternalize with words. Something he wished he never had to share with anyone else.

"I'm sorry." His voice came without air. The smoke had clogged his throat, took hold of his lungs, he was sure he'd never breathe again. "I'm sorry I told Tai… I'm sorry about whatever I did to make you hate me."

She shook her head. "I don't hate you."

"Then why? Why is it over?"

Sora turned to the rain and chewed on a fingernail. "I found your notebook."

"What?"

She spoke to the storm. "In the bathroom. All those songs you wrote for me."

A dark flush rose under the surface of his skin. "Oh."

"They were...intense. You've never told me any of those things."

There was a long pause and Matt knew he was supposed to explain or speak, but he was sure without air his heart had stopped beating.

"And," her voice shook, "and you shop before I come over and we never fight and I just can't…" She finally met his eyes and Matt hurried to build a wall so she wouldn't see him dying.

"It's like I'm living with a shadow of you," she said. "Everything that's real and vulnerable and you… you don't let me see it anymore. I feel like I'm trying to keep up and…" Her eyes fluttered again, as if the air of her lashes could dry the threat of tears. "You did everything right, Matt. I'm just tired of being scared that I can't."

Dead men don't speak, so when she waited and he didn't, she left.

Matt pulled out another cigarette.

* * *

 

"Your purpose is here. In the dawn of a new world. You are its creator, after all."

Animamon's words still echoed in the darkness, his claws an imprint in Izzy' skin. In the darkness, sounds came and went: voices, protests, threats, all empty. The dark walls around Izzy rung with them, bounced off the space and through his head, as if they were all inside his mind.

He tried to empty himself. It was something he had perfected in the past, letting go of pain and emotion until he felt nothing. But he had never tried meditating in a prison cell. Everything hurt. The best way to cope was to sleep, but his arms were numb from being held in the same position, his head was pounding, he was broken. It was impossible to sleep. He only faded in and out.

He didn't notice what Animamon said to his newest prisoner, but there was something different in the response.

"You will find you cannot truly control a soul. In the same way you cannot create one," it said. "We were fools to follow you."

Claws clicked across the floor and the sounds of shackles echoed in the blackness. "I'm afraid you'll find yourself mistaken very soon," Animamon said.

"No," the voice spoke. "You can manipulate and change us, but the soul is a powerful thing. When you release me, I will destroy your world."

Animamon laughed. "When I release you, you will no longer be you. You will be my creation."

The voice didn't respond and Izzy could hear Animamon leaving, sure he had the last word.

"That is where _you_ are mistaken," the new captive hissed. "I will be an abomination and you will have created nothing but your own destruction."

Its laugh made Animamon's feel like it had been a cheerful chuckle. No amount of detachment could keep the terror from reaching Izzy as he hung helpless in the darkness.

  



	12. Hello Darkness, my old friend

Facing monsters has never been a problem for me.

Sure I’ve been scared, but our family has always had this sunshiny optimism about things. Money gets tight and mom comes up with weird recipes from whatever she can scrounge up in pantry. It’s inedible, but still, she smiles and tells us it's just a chance to get creative.

It’s probably what gave me courage. Even through those moments of self-doubt, it would take charge, some sort of beacon - a sun rising after a dark night.

But the older I get, the more I doubt myself. I hesitate. Agumon insists that it’s because I’ve grown. That I think things through more because of experience. And maybe I do in battle. But we haven’t had to fight for a long time.

In life, I’m finding the monsters a lot bigger. They loom inside. Once, in Civics class we had an entire day dedicated to peer mediation. Because apparently that’s half of politics. The teacher told us, straight out, that courage was admitting our mistakes.

Sometimes I don’t have a problem with that.

But here, in this place full of memories, I’m afraid.

 

* * *

 **Chapter Twelve  
** **Hello Darkness, my old friend**

* * *

 

“Do you really think this is it?”

Tai’s voice jolts me from my work. He scoots a chair across the computer lab floor and peers at the code scrolling across my screen.

“What is what?” I ask, entering a couple more lines.

He shrugs. “Life. Do we get one chance and it’s done?”

My work comes to a halt at my fingertips. “I guess so,” I say, peering over my shoulder at him. “I’ve never really come across a lot of conclusive evidence that says otherwise.” I can tell he’s bothered by my answer and I wonder what brought it on. The introspective side of him comes in spurts. “Why do you ask?”

Another shrug. “Just thinking. I guess if this is it, it matters a whole lot.”

“Or it doesn’t,” I say.

Tai frowns. “I wish we were like digimon.”

I think about that for a long time.

... 

* * *

...

It opened its eyes to a world devoid of color.

Sight alone tore its mind to pieces. Thoughts strained against each other. Conflicting memories and emotions battled, screamed in an effort to keep seperate. To gain independence even though they were one, even though every part of  him had seeped and melded into every part of them.

Everything hurt. It felt the crushing weight of a body and a mind without the room for its souls.

Hatred boiled inside its flesh, festering. And one soul rang supreme, subduing the others with its purpose, forcing them to take a step.

The creature stumbled, jerked, mind reeling in a thousand directions and yet only one: to destroy the world Animamon had tried so hard to build, this monstrosity he’d created and anyone who dared to manipulate digimon for his own gain.

To destroy everything.

It took a step.

In the dark, bound in shackles, Izzy felt the earth beneath his feet.

 

... 

* * *

...

His shirt hung above the flames, like a limp pig roasting on a spit, arms hanging around a stick, embracing the sleeves of her sweater.

Yolei’s was still damp and she probably would have stripped down too if she wasn’t sure Davis would start snickering. Plus, it was her bra that was the most uncomfortable. Just two padded cups of wet. Her boobs were probably wrinkled by now. Like tiny old lady prunes.

Yolei sat as close to the fire as she could to dry them out, every now and then looking over her shoulder for a monster lurking in the dark.

Davis sat across from her, the knife she had long abandoned (it made a terrible screwdriver, she had come to find out) whittling sharp points onto the ends of sticks. Once in a while his eyes would raise, finding hers through the flames.

It had to be well into the night. And she could tell he was as exhausted as she was, but neither of them had made a move to go to sleep. Davis had at least a half a dozen pointy sticks lying on the ground by his feet. He thrust the latest forward, then back and forth, testing the weight.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Makin spears. You know, in case there’s any more big... things.” When he saw her roll her eyes, his shoulders bounced by his ears. “At least it’s somethin. What’re you doing?”

“Staring,” she said, because she was. At the fire, at the woods, at his tired face and drooping shoulders.

“Hard to resist, right?” His grin fell when she glared through her broken lenses. “You should sleep. You look like hell.”

Yolei’s lips pursed.

“Just sayin,” Davis yawned.

“Can’t,” she said. “I’m too afraid that thing is going to pop up and come after us.”

“It’s dead.”

“But what if it isn’t?”

“It is.”

“But it could not be.”

“It could be be. And it is. It actually _is_ dead.”

“Maybe it’s thanatosis.” She was met with a blank stare.  “You know, a defense mechanism? Like a possum.”

“That thing did not need a defense mechanism. Did you see the size of it?”

Yolei didn’t answer and Davis gave her a big, triumphant grin, the kind that usually went along with snapping his goggles, as if he needed to remind everyone that Tai had left him charge, as if there were anything to be in charge of anymore.

With a low groan, Yolei sunk closer to the fire and turned to the dark, letting it warm her backside. The woods seemed even blacker in full view. The dense canopy blocked the moon and it was getting harder as the night went on to decipher the sound of crackling of wood in the fire from a snapping branch beneath a monster’s foot.

“What if there _are_ more of them?” she asked. “Something was following us in those woods, maybe that thing attacked it. I mean, I didn’t see any wounds, but…” Her arms pulled tightly around her chest as if it could keep the chill from running down her spine. “I don't get it,  I thought we were in Izzy's program, but it wasn't able to create… life. What was that thing?”

Davis shrugged. “Maybe Matt had a nightmare.”

“God, I hope not.” Yolei tugged on the end of her ponytail. “It was only supposed to use memories.”

“I remember my dreams. One time I dreamt Mr. Fujiyama was my dad and then he turned into a giant talking pencil. I think he tried to stab me.”

“Great, now I really can't sleep.”

“Your loss,” Davis said, finally abandoning his spear. She turned to see him pocket his knife and saunter up to her side, twirling the dense stick in his hand before setting it at her feet. “Here. In case you need to save me from the big bad dead thing.”

She kicked a pig slipper into the side of his sneaker.

“Don’t hurt the babies,” he said, nudging them back. He reached over the fire and slipped his dried shirt over his head, yawning. “Wake me up when you start dozin, kay?”

“Okay,” Yolei said, because that's what digidestined did in strange scary places. Kept watch. Even though she’d only had to spend the night in Digiworld a handful of times, always with a portal no more than a few miles away. She’d never had to keep watch, wondering if she’d have to do it forever like TK, Kari and the others had. Lost and unsure they’d ever come home.

Without Hawkmon.

This new world suddenly seemed so big. And dark. And lonely.

It felt like hours passed before Yolei felt brave enough to move. Shivering, she snagged her sweater from over the fire and curled it around her shoulders. When she sat back down on the log, her shaking finally subsided and for a brief moment her body relaxed. Maybe she could sleep. The cozy smell of firewood drifted from the weaves of her sweater and it enveloped her, like a toasty blanket on a brisk autumn night.  

For just a second, her eyes slipped closed.

They snapped open to the sound of rustling leaves. Her head turned to the cave and found Davis squirming in his sleep, his body broken to a million pieces.

Yolei took off her glasses and he went whole and blurry, stilling after he had huddled into a tiny ball. The sound stopped. It must have just been the leaves beneath his back.

“Stupid glasses,” she muttered, wiping the cracked lenses with the sleeve of her sweater. “Stupid Davis.”

And then her heart was in her throat. The distinct crack of dried wood breaking came at her back. She whipped around, scrambling to put on her broken glasses and find Davis’s makeshift spear.

She picked it up, felt it shaking under her trembling hands, and heard nothing more.

Slowly, she moved closer the fire and started to shove dirt over the low flames, burying it. When there was nothing left but glowing embers, she froze, eyes adjusting to the dark. The outlines of trees were sharp and jagged in her shattered lenses.

A lifetime passed as she struggled not to breathe. She scooted backward into the cave, eyes darting around the brush, wishing for light. Her low back pressed into Davis’s shoulders and she could feel him breathing long before he spoke.

“What is it?” he asked, low and groggy.

“Shh,” she said even though the sound of his voice had been a relief. A reminder she wasn’t alone. They both went still, backs heaving together in low, slow breaths, listening.

“I heard something,” Yolei finally whispered. “In the woods.”

“You were prolly dreamin,” Davis grumbled, even though he was whispering too.

“I wasn’t asleep.”

“Why’d you put out the fire?” he asked, sitting up. His shoulder blades pressed into hers, boney and shivering. “It’s freezing.”

“I know.” The warmth of her sweater was long gone, cold creeping in everywhere but where Davis was. “I’m sorry, I thought it would see us and—”

“It’s fine, I’ll start another one.”

“No.” Her hand grasped his before he could stand, forcing him still. “Don’t, just in case. Just don’t.”

So he didn’t. They sat like that for some time, back to back, staring into the dark, her hand pressing his into the dirt.

“Whadya think Tai would do if he was here?” Davis asked after a while.

“Probably check it out.”

“Hm.”

“But don’t do that, that’s stupid.”

“Tai’s not stupid, he’s brave.”

“You can be brave when you have Veemon. Right now being brave is stupid, okay? Don’t be stupid.”

Davis let out a low puff of air. Yolei looked over her shoulder and could barely make out the sparkle of his eye in the dark. “I’m not calling you stupid,” she said. “I just don’t want you to do something stupid. Like forget we’re useless in a fight against a giant monster without our digimon.”

“I know that,” Davis said, yanking his hand out from under hers. His whisper came out like more of a hiss and Yolei knew he was fighting not to raise his voice. “I know I’m useless now, okay?”

“That’s not what I meant,” she said.

“We’re all useless,” he continued. “Digiworld doesn’t need us anymore.”

“That’s not true,” Yolei argued even though she wasn’t convinced. Even though she’d thought the same exact thing, more than once.

Voice impossibly low, Davis said, “Even if it did, no one’s gonna want me to be the leader now. They didn't even give me the goggles back.”

“Probably because you made it super awkward.”

He huffed, his back pushing Yolei forward. She leaned back.  

“You know she kissed me, right?”

“Don’t know why.”

“Shuddup.”

Yolei sunk her elbow into his ribs. “You’ll work it out,” she said. “You always do. One of your better traits.”

“Why didn’t that sound like a compliment?”

Somehow, in the darkness, with death lingering behind the trees, laughter bubbled into Yolei’s throat. And then it echoed, a warm chuckle rumbling against her back.

... 

* * *

...

“Are you leaving?”

Ken froze at the sound of her quiet voice. Kari was curled into the arm of his couch, a cup of tea in her hands, long cold.

He shifted the backpack on his shoulder, carrying too few supplies. “I have to.”

She placed her cup on the end table and stood to meet him, motioning her hand to the door when Tai stirred in the recliner beside them.  

They left everyone inside. She leaned on the closed door.

“I can’t go to the campground with you,” Ken said before she could speak. “They won’t be there. I know what Tai said and—”

“It’s okay.” Kari was watching him with her warm eyes, the ones that read through you, that Davis had once said could grab your insides and twist them (in a good way). They did something different for Ken. They saw and understood.

Touching the dead D-terminal in his pocket, he said, “I told Yolei I was coming. It's been days.  And my memories… I’m not sure how much Izzy’s program replicates, but I need to keep them to myself.”

The ocean swam in their souls, always there, waiting for them to come back to the dark. Each memory brought him closer. Ken swore he could feel the spore in his neck throbbing, waiting to spring back to life.

“Cody is going to be angry you didn’t take him with you,” Kari said and her eyes fluttered back to the door. “TK too. We’re still a team. I know he’s angry with Davis now, but…”

“I think TK is angrier with himself,” Ken said. “Davis too.” And then they met, in that common ground where she could see exactly what he didn’t say.

_So are you._

The ocean flooded her eyes. “I’m so sorry. I messed everything up because I…” Her words disappeared in the tide. “Tell Davis I’m sorry about what I said. About him being a terrible friend. I know he was upset and I didn’t mean—”

“He knows.” Ken watched her force away her tears. “Right now we just need to concentrate on getting out of here. I’m afraid this world is unstable. There’s an anomaly in the code. The way the program fills in the missing pieces of memories. I don’t know what it means exactly, but there’s no telling what could happen if it goes wrong.”

Nodding, she said, “I wish you wouldn’t go alone.”

“I have to.”

And then she was grasping him, light spilling out of her skin even though the dark was surging beneath the surface.

“Don’t let your guilt control you,” Ken told her.

Kari took a long time to let him go.

“I was going to say the same to you.”

...

* * *

. ..

Sometime in the night, she crawled into his bed.

At least that’s where he thought he was, his face loose and groggy, his shirt pulled taught in her fist as she curled into his back.

“Kari?”

TK swore he was home, that it was a dream, not really _her_ clinging to him on the air mattress under Ken’s loft bed with the other’s heavy breaths beside them. He rolled over, out from her grasp until he faced her. She hid her face in his neck.

Silently, his hand smoothed her hair, ran past her shoulders, pulled her ribs into his.

And then she was kissing him.

Lips pressed into his collarbone and her leg slipped between his, her thigh wedged into the cotton of his boxers, feeling _everything_. Her chest heaved shaky breaths against his mouth.

For a moment he was drifting, still unsure he was awake, his mouth sloppy in reciprocation. Air seemed unnecessary, hearts pounding between them, her life seeping into his pores as his lips went numb.

They had never kissed like this. He had always been afraid. To move too fast, to give too much, to take.  But something about the quiet and the strange haze of sleep had robbed him of inhibitions.

Kari moved against him, fingertips slipping under his shirt, the heat of her pressing on his leg. A low unexpected sound climbed into his throat, making TK suddenly aware of how very much _not a drea_ m this was.

He pulled back, heart racing, and saw his brother's back, Cody’s feet, Joe's glasses lying in reach.

“What are you…?” His voice didn’t sound like his own. It was heavy, drunk from sleep and her skin.  “What if someone—”

Her leg slid out from between his and his name tumbled from her lips and sunk into his chest.

She whispered, “I'm sorry,” and then his body went cold when she slipped from the room, like a shadow stretching from the sun.

 

... 

* * *

...

“So you just let him go?”

Kari looked to her lap, ashamed.

“Matt, stop.” It was TK who came to her defense even though he had yet to look at her. His bright eyes were as clouded as they had been during the night, still tired and unsure. “Ken was going to go whether she wanted him to or not.”

The sun was only just beginning to rise, a hint of light through the downpour, but everyone was already awake and crowding the Ichijouji’s living room. Matt had been the first to notice Ken’s disappearance and when he informed the others, Kari admitted she had seen him leave.

“I wish you would have woken me,” Tai said gently. “Do you have any idea where he went?”

Kari shook her head.

“He shouldn’t have gone alone,” Cody said, a frown stretched across his face. He was kneeling on the floor and his hands were gripping the fabric of his pants. “I should be looking for them too.”

“We _are_ looking for them,” Matt said. “But now we have to find Ken too.”

“He hasn’t been himself since we got here,” said Sora.

“Which is just another reason he shouldn’t be out there alone.”

When Sora went pink under Matt’s sharp gaze, Tai cut in. “No one disagrees with you, Matt. But TK’s right. If Ken was determined to go on his own, I’m not sure any of us could’ve stopped him. Let’s just focus on what we do next.”

Kari thought of the one person who _could_ stop Ken, who talk him from the edge when no one else could reach him, who wasn't there. There was something in the way Davis spoke, not even the words, but the conviction behind them that reached people.

Kari understood exactly why Ken had to leave. She took a long deep breath to keep the guilt from churning her stomach.

The plan remained unchanged.

“Does anyone remember how to get there?” Joe was asking.

“I think so,” Matt said. “Dad always drove, but I remember most of it.”

“Great,” said Mimi. “You’re chauffeur then.”

Tai smirked. “He just doesn’t want to get jammed into the backseat again.”

Matt frowned.

“And here you could’ve called shotgun with Sora,” Mimi teased, giving Matt a nudge in the shoulder and then, “Ow, Sora, so mean!” She rubbed her arm where she’d been pinched. “I guess I’ll just have to sit with Joe then.”

There as a loud, long series of coughs before Joe excused himself.

“Can you leave directions in case they show up?” Cody asked Matt, whose ears were just returning to a normal color.

“Sure. It's a long drive though. Hopefully they find another car.”

“A bus would be better,” TK said.

They left the Ichijouji apartment and Mimi covered the door with permanent marker: **We** **_all_ ** **were here.** Matt shoved a note with directions to the campground in the crack.

Kari kept her gaze out the window the whole ride. Every now and then she peered at TK, doing the same.  When they finally found each other, his eyes asked her a thousand questions she didn’t know how to answer without kissing him again.

... 

* * *

...

Davis woke with hair in his mouth. A literal clump of dirty lilac hair pressed between his lips.

“Ugh,” he groaned, spitting. He tried to shove backwards and found his arm pinned by Yolei’s ribs. He rolled onto his back and immediately felt the warmth recede from his chest. With a couple of squirms he managed to unhook his hand and she stirred awake.

“So cold,” she said, curling into a ball.

Davis rubbed sleep from his eyes. “Probably cause you put out the fire,” he grumbled. “C’mon, it’s morning.”

She flopped onto her stomach in protest, bare legs kicking into the dirt. “I miss my bed,” she cried.

Davis turned from her flailing behind in search of his backpack. “I miss food.”

“Don’t remind me.” Yolei managed to pick herself from the ground. “Did we really lose all of it?”

Plopping onto a downed tree limb, Davis unzipped his bag, finding most of the contents still damp. “Got some soggy chips.”

“Ew.”

“Let’s get going, maybe we’ll find a fruit tree or somethin.”

“I would kill for a banana.”

“Or some natto,” Davis moaned.

“I don’t think that grows on trees.”

Zipping up his backpack,  he continued his daydream,  mouth watering. “And rice. With miso and soft-boiled eggs.”

“Stop, you’re making me hungrier.”

Tears actually beaded his eyes. “Ramen,” he whimpered. He swore he could smell it somehow, even over his own stench. Grabbing the spear Yolei had held most of the night, he strung his backpack over his shoulders.

“How come you’ve never made me any ramen?”

Davis turned to see Yolei dusting leaves from her legs, blouse disheveled under her dirty sweater, hair wild and clumped, probably from his saliva. Gross.

Shrugging, he said, “I’m still working on my recipe. It’s not good enough yet.”

Her brows turned in. “You let Jun try it.”

“She’s my sister.”

“And Ken.”

“Best friend.”

“Cody?”

“Honest.”

“And I’m not?”

Davis suddenly saw where this was going.  “I’ll make you some when we get back, okay?”

“No, wait, what’s the deal? I like ramen. Why can’t I be your guinea pig?”

“You can. Just you know, it’s still not _the_ recipe yet.”

“That’s sort of the point of a guinea pig, Davis. To test things on.”

“I know that.” He heaved the makeshift spear over his shoulder and grabbed the other sticks he had sharpened to join it.

Yolei let out an irritated hum and started running her fingers through her hair, yanking out leaves. Davis hoped that would be the end of it.

“So what? You think I have bad taste?”

Davis groaned.

“You let Veemon test it.”

“He’s my partner?”

“He’s eaten Mrs. Kamiya’s tofu cookies. And enjoyed it.”

“Ugh.”

“So, what’s wrong with me?”  Glass cracked through her eye, leaving only one visible through her broken lenses. It stared, hard.

Turning, Davis shoved a low hanging branch out of his way and ducked into the forest.

Yolei was hot on his heels. “I literally have nothing better to do than bug you, you know.” She took a few hurried steps and flicked him in the ear.

“Ow, quit it!”

A finger dug into his ribs. He squirmed, but wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of squealing. There was a low huff over his shoulder and then her hand shoved right into his stinky armpit.

“Agh!”

Jerking sideways, Davis took off into the brush, dodging her jeering appendages. The gray leaves struck at his face. With Yolei yelling behind him, he leapt over high arching roots and dodged around miscellaneous street signs, teasing her for being too slow. After he had put a good distance between them, a piercing scream sent him flailing over a tangle of vines. The spear-sticks bounced into the foliage, disappearing beneath ashen grass.

Yelling her name, Davis scrambled to his feet, tearing vines from his arms, hoping to God that the monster hadn’t come back. He hunted for his spears, panicked.

Yolei burst out from under a palm leaf and ran straight into his back. Davis went sprawling face first into the dirt. His backpack was squished between them, but he could feel her heavy shaking breaths in his ear until she sat on his rear, her thighs squeezing around his waist. Her palms slammed through the bag, demolishing whatever was left of the soggy chips.

He wheezed. “Wha--”

“You jackass!” she seethed, voice slithering through her teeth. “How could you just leave me like that?”—another drum into his backpack and he tried to wiggle out from under her grip— “That thing is out there and you just!” Her thighs tensed as she shoved him further into the dirt.

With a twist of his hips, Davis managed to swing his legs to the side and push, rolling her into the dirt. “You were assaulting me!”

He felt claws on his low back and his shirt went tight on his chest as Yolei yanked him back by it. “No, _now_ I’m assaulting you!”

A seam ripped in the arm of his shirt and Davis squeaked, “I was scared you’d hate it!”

Yolei let go. Davis flew forward and grass went up his nostrils.  Sneezing and rubbing his face, he sat up. She was staring at him, hair caught in the joints of her glasses, chest still heaving from the chase.

“What?” she asked.

Swallowing, Davis turned and hunted for his spears.  “My ramen,” he said, fanning his shirt. Sweat was already beading on his neck. “Jun’s gonna tell me it’s shit either way.” His nervous laugh rung awkwardly in his own ears. “Ken’s honest but he’s like super nice about it, Cody’s kinda blunt, but that’s it. He can tell me it sucks and I know it’s about the ramen, not about m—”

He stopped, the heat of the run building in his neck. Slinging a stick through the loop of his pack, he waited for her to start going on about how stupid he was or hound him for more details, but she didn’t. He collected the rest of his spears, too scared to turn around.

Yoleis’ voice came smaller than he expected. “Do I really make you feel like that?”

Inwardly he winced, thinking of all the insults they’d thrown at each other over the years, the playful banter and the harsher words, both leaving their marks. He shrugged and stood, wiping debris from his shorts.

“I’m sorry.”

Looking over his shoulder, he saw her head down, balled fists resting on her dirty knees. It caught him off guard. Through the course of their entire childhood, he could easily count the times she’d apologized on a lot less than one hand.

“It’s fine,” Davis said. “I mean, you can try some if you really want to. When we get back.”

The light reflected off her glasses when she looked up at him, a glare from the rising sun.

“Okay.”

Feeling guilty for the flat line of her lips, Davis offered her his hand. She took it, her fingers sliding into his clammy palm.

“You don’t suck,” she told him.

And when there was no amendment, no teasing line, a smile twitched into the corner of his mouth.

“Thanks.”

After letting go, her hand swatted the back of his head, wiping the silly grin from his face. “Don’t leave me like that again,” she scolded.

And suddenly Davis could feel her, clinging to him in his bed, the same words tumbling into his hair.

Flushing, he turned back to the woods and mumbled, “I won’t.”

They walked for a long time with nothing between them but Yolei grumbling about the fresh scrapes on her knees. Then, when things went silent, she looked at him sideways, eyes blinking beneath her cracked lenses.

“Have you let Kari try it?”

Davis shook his head. He suddenly felt heavy, like a weight had settled in the pit of his empty stomach.

“Hm.” A small smile stretched across Yolei’s cheek. “For some reason that makes me feel better.”

He was about to ask her why when they were met by the dark.

... 

* * *

...

Rain flooded the streets. Gutters had begun to overflow, leaving vast puddles in the streets, nearly ankle deep. It soaked through his shoes and up his pant legs, spreading. Ken wondered if the flood would continue until this whole world became an ocean.

Taking shelter beneath the roof of his high school, he pulled his soaked blazer from over his head. Rivers slipped down his face as he peered through the glass of the front doors.

Even after the deactivation of the dark spore, he’d had remained in the most competitive circuit of private schools. It was lonely there.

The students seemed unable to come to terms with how boy-genius Ken Ichijouji was grazing the bottom of his class. Many of his classmates had been with him in primary school when he surpassed most teachers and looked down on everyone as if they were insects. Now they spread rumors about the mental breakdown that caused the downfall of a prodigy.

Inside, he saw nothing but black. Ken thought of Izzy’s program, of memories, of everything that led him to believe that this was an extension of Davis’s. He took a long, deep breath and pulled on the handle.

Davis had never gone beyond the soccer field. The inside would be a mystery to him.

Ken welcomed the darkness like an old friend.

...

* * *

 

...

“Are you sure this is the right exit?”

“You don’t even live here anymore,” Matt grumbled when Mimi leaned forward in her seat, squinting through the heavy rain on the windshield.

Joe squeaked, “We should’ve been on the highway by now.” He turned a tomato red when Mimi leaned back into his chest, squirming under their shared seatbelt.

“Does anyone actually know how to get there without GPS?” asked Cody.

“Matt wrote down the directions, he’s got this.”

“So much confidence in me,” Matt said, eyes flashing to the rearview where Tai was grinning widely at him.

“I have confidence in your confidence,” Tai said.

“Any sign of Ken?” Sora asked and Matt could see that her question was directed to TK, who was staring intently out the window.

“No.”

“I’m not confident anymore,” Matt admitted. “Everything seems… different somehow.”

“Ken said the world was unstable,” Kari said softly, eyes peering out the opposite window. “Something to do with the way the program fills in the missing pieces of our memories.”

Clearing his throat, Joe said, “That makes sense. There’s no way our memories could be exact replicas of the real thing.”

Matt frowned.

“So we could be driving to Bermuda for all we know?” Tai asked.

“Yeah,” Matt said. “Straight into the triangle.”

“Perfect.”

“Just do your best,” Sora said.

For a split second Matt caught her eyes in the rearview, a look he remembered, that he missed.

“Matt!” Mimi screamed.

His attention flung back to the road. A black abyss appeared, crumbling the bridge before them. He slammed on the brakes and they spun across the rain into darkness.

 


End file.
